Why 24 Sucks

24 Season 7: No F'ing Way

2008-05-17T14:51:00.001-07:00

Shoosh. There really hasn't been much to report on 24 since the good ol' writers strike came and went. But something surfaced the other day and we really need to discuss.

According to TV Guide:
Not that 24 fans needed to be made more excited/impatient for the long-delayed Season 7, Kiefer Sutherland at Fox's upfront presentation promised truly super-Bauered times ahead — and in a way, you have the WGA-AMPTP feud to thank for it. "After so many postponements, I can assure you that none of us at 24 took for granted the significance of this upcoming season," the series star-producer said. "But the time allowed us to do something that has never been done before — create a map of the entire season before we started shooting. So I can tell you without hesitation, I know for a fact, that Season 7 is going to be the best season yet."

WHAT!?!?!! The WHOLE season is planned/mapped out? What a novel idea -- thinking about an entire season before you even film minute one. And we have the Writers Guild Strike to thank for it? If it produces better story-lines and things that aren't made up, then I'm all for it.

If this season pans out to be actually good, then I bet FOX will start to plan more of these "strikes" so they can get their shit in order.

Here's to hoping, but being a realist.

24 Season 7: Good News and Bad News

2008-02-13T08:07:00.000-08:00

So as you all may be aware, the Writers Strike has finally ended and Kiefer is outta jail. That means that the show will be back soon, right?

Wrong.

All signs point to 24 returning in 2009, NOT 2008. Which is good news, in my opinion, since they went back to the drawing board a few times already.

In other news, 24 co-creator Joel Surnow has left the show to pursue other projects.

What say you, community? Which of this is good news and which is bad news?

24 Season 7: What Now?

2008-01-18T04:45:00.001-08:00

An interesting question/answer has appeared over at TVGuide.com:

Question: Any news on the return of 24? — MB
Ausiello: Well, although Fox hasn't confirmed it, I'll go out on a limb and say Jack Bauer isn't returning this season. Even if the strike ends tomorrow, the earliest the show could get back on the air is this summer — and there's no way in hell Fox is dumping 24 onto the summer season. That leaves the network with several options, none of them ideal. One solution is to just kick off Season 7 next January, but by then Jack will have been in hiding for nearly two years. Another, and much more controversial, scenario being bandied about involves taking the eight episodes currently in the can and creating a 10- to 14-episode mini-season to air in the fall. That would be followed by another 10- to 14-episode mini-season — featuring a completely different plot — during the second half of the season. Opponents of that idea have argued, and rightly so, that by splitting the season, you're essentially compromising the show's unique, 24-hour conceit. Proponents, however, argue that these are desperate times. And sometimes desperate times require throwing out the rulebook. I can see that point as well. What do you guys think? Would you rather wait until January and get a traditional uninterrupted 24-episode season? Or would you prefer getting the show back in the fall, even if that meant splitting the season up into two shorter, self-contained chunks? Or do you have another solution? Weigh in with your thoughts in the Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread. I have a feeling Fox will be interested in what you have to say.

Two 10-14 half-seasons? So what would you call that "24, Kinda"? Yeah, that's a GREAT idea.

My idea would be to just wait until all the writers are back and either finish out the current Season 7, or, start over. Yes, start over. It's a pretty universal truth that Season 6 absolutely blew. And after Season 7 was delayed with re-writes and THEN came to the table with the great idea of bringing Tony back from the dead, I think it's about time to cut the losses and move forward.

Of course, on the other hand, 10-14 episodes could be pretty hard to screw up and make into a laughing stock. Wait, what am I saying. We ARE talking about 24's merry band of writers, aren't we?

24 Season 7: Delayed... Again

2007-11-08T01:55:00.000-08:00

Looks like FOX doesn't think the Writers Guild of America strike is going to be finished any time soon. Yesterday, FOX announced their updated Spring schedule which included the premiere of 24 being suspended indefinitely:

According to TV Guide:
"The seventh season premiere of 24 is being postponed," explains the network, "to ensure that Day 7 can air uninterrupted, in its entirety."

Shoosh! Maybe they can rest easier now that Kiefer's jail-time won't screw much up.

24 Season 7: The Trailer

2007-10-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

Ready for 24's Season 7 trailer? Either go to 24trailer.com, or watch below:

Just like the trailer for Season 6, I think this effort is great. However, I'm VERY skeptical about how it will turn out. Those who make trailers don't get paid mega-bucks for nothing. They're marketers. That said, what sticks out from so far?

Tony's a New Man
Left for dead, Tony has a new haircut and some type of vendetta. Positioning Tony as the baddie for this season will definitely get people talking ... talking instead of asking, wtf. Yes, he was zipped up in a body bag. But, at the same time, Jack has died twice and HE'S still around. Sigh. Don't worry. Either Tony will die mid-way through the season, for good... or will become good again. Either way, he's reporting to someone.

CTU is Gone
Thank God. Unfortunately, Chloe and Bill aren't. Yes, you saw a glimpse of them with their bluetooth headsets on. Maybe they work for Dell now, selling computers to the Government. Big computers. Computers that house the CIP Firewall – the latest and greatest made up technojargon on 24. Good to see that we can still be fed lameness.

Jack Don't Care
Hell no Jack doesn't regret the decisions he's made. He's just fine with losing his wife. Estranging his daughter. Pushing his most recent girlfriends to the brink of insanity. Torturing many, killing even more. Dude... really. He doesn't regret any of it. Eeeeexcept maybe that DUI he recently was arrested for and is going to jail because of. THAT, maybe, he regrets.

New City
Same song, new notes. Boring.

What were your thoughts?

Jack Bauer Arrested for DUI

2007-09-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

From Zap2it.com:
"24" star Kiefer Sutherland wasn't trying to save the world when he made an illegal U-turn in the wee hours.

Instead, the Emmy-winning actor was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving on Tuesday, Sept. 25 in West Hollywood, reports TMZ.com. Earlier in the evening, he had attended the FOX Fall Eco-Casino party at Area nightclub.

The 40-year-old was pulled over at 1:35 a.m. on the corner of La Cienega and Beverly. A breathalyzer test showed that his blood alcohol level was above the legal .08 limit for California.

He was taken to the Hollywood Police station and booked for a misdemeanor DUI. He was released on $25,000 bail.

Sutherland is due in court on Oct. 16.

Well, this will definitely put a damper on his run for President, but it also speaks volumes about his latest round of reality. Think about it... everyone he loves dies and sometimes they come back! I'd probably be drunk-driving around LA at 1:35 a.m. if I saw Tony Almeida show up earlier that day.

I wonder how long he sat in the jailcell while someone came to get him. And while he waited, did the 24-clock beep the whole time? That could make for some interesting reality tv. Someone, please get that tape!

24 Season 7: Tony Almeida, Resident Zombie

2007-09-25T05:26:00.000-07:00

Before the news of Tony returning broke, I thought that 24 fans were awfully lenient with the writing staff. Now, however, it appears that most suffer from the ostrich syndrome – where you stick your head in the sand to ignore what's going on. Everywhere I read, fans are rejoicing that Tony is back... from the dead. Yes, he was dead. Don't let anyone on the 24 tell you otherwise. Don't listen to the lies they're going to spin... especially when Executive Producer Howard Gordon says something like:

"That's something, obviously, we're going to have to explain away," Gordon says. "Hopefully, in the spirit of creating a good show and creating an interesting season, people will allow the fun [of '24']."

In the spirit (pun intended, I'm sure) of creating an interesting season? Let me translate that for you – in the interest of me keeping my job because we got our asses handed to us for the crap we put out there last year.

I'm bewildered that these fans are all excited about Tony returning. Really, I am. Why? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!!! This isn't a soap opera. This is a show that's based on the reality of a 24-hour timeline AND the notion that terrorist attacks could happen on US soil. But now we're supposed to believe that a character that was killed off in season five is just about to magically reappear?

I'm not sure how Mr. Gordon and his crew will explain what's plainly listed in the 24 recaps:

Season Five: 7:00 - 8:00 pm
7:59 P.M. – Jack enters the clinic and finds Tony and Burke on the ground. Gasping his last breath of life, Tony tells Jack that he couldn’t do it. Jack clutches Tony’s head. Tony dies, and Jack cries with him still in his arms.

Season Five: 8:00 - 9:00 pm
8:00 P.M. – As the medic workers wrap up Tony’s body, Audrey comes to tell Jack that Henderson has escaped. However, Chloe was able to decrypt a file on his computer and she found an intelligence broker named Collette Stenger who is a known associate of Bierko.

Tony dies in Jack's arms. Next episode, Tony's body is being wrapped up by medical workers.

He's dead. Tony is gone. Character written off of the show.

How can you be excited about this? This opens the flood gates of allowing the writers to do ANYTHING they want. This doesn't make for interesting television. It reeks of publicity stunt and ratings grabbing. Ultimately, it's going to make them all look like fools (if that's not too late, already).

If you're a fan and you're excited about Tony the un-dead agent, then just admit the show is lost and insanely silly. Then I won't want to sucker-punch you so bad.

24 Season 7: Tony Almeida is Back (rolling eyes)

2007-09-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

From TVGuide.com:
I will go out of my way not to blurt this out, lest someone castigate me for spoiling. But when Fox's 24 launches Season 7 on Jan. 13 and 14 with a two-night premiere, a familiar (though unexpected) face will put in an appearance. "With CTU dismantled, the show's setting moves to Washington, D.C., where Jack Bauer faces trial for his actions in the pursuit of justice," reads the Fox press release. "Bauer's day gets off to a shocking start when former colleague Tony Almeida (played by Carlos Bernard), last seen in Day 5, returns after being left for dead by a terrorist conspirator in CTU's infirmary."

Say wha?! "Tony's uncertain fate... left the door open for his return," explains exec producer Howard Gordon. "And since there was no silent clock at the conclusion of his last appearance — the 24 tribute to a major character's demise — we always kept this as a possibility." Indeed, it was widely rumored (and, I believe, perhaps even filmed) that Tony was to resurface in the final seconds of last season.

Wait until you-know-who finds out that wife Michelle herself is alive, and working as a chaplain at ER's County General!

As Jonk points out in today's earlier post – this is so asenine and ludicris that 24 not only jumps the shark, but ties a rock to it's feet and drowns itself. How in the world does Tony survive in season five and NO ONE knows about it?

Sure season six totally sucked. We all know it. Will bringing Tony back, into a season that was delayed several different times due to re-writes, solve that? How does this jive with 24's fresh start? Still in America. Still related to a government agency. Still has Chloe and Bill. And now Tony. Wow. This'll feel like a brand new show! SOOOOO different.

I was all excited about 24 trying to put a stake in the ground and "start over," but this news definitely puts them back 17,000 steps.

So let's recap when we last saw Tony. He was dead inside of CTU.

How will this be explained!?! More moles? Tony was taken to be buried but came back to life? Even if he didn't die, NO ONE told Jack? And if they DID know, why wasn't he brought in when Graem and Daddy Bauer were running amuck in season six -- didn't Tony and Michelle's company have something to do with them!?!

Bullshit. I'll say it again. Bullshit.

Way to go Fox. Way to go 24. You're making a mockery out of yourselves.

Feel free to chime in with your thoughts.

Random Notes from 24-land

2007-09-19T04:26:00.001-07:00

While catching up on some blogs, I thought I would post some of the random 24-related news from the heres and theres.

Jon Cassar has a "blog"
Yes, it's true. One of 24's Executive Producers, and lead directors, has his own blog. I see it more as a propaganda piece for 24, since it needs all the good ju-ju that it can get, but still, he spouts some interesting stuff on there from time to time. Aside from the casting news he's listed on there, he also talks about how filming is getting close to wrapping for the season's two-hour premiere on Sunday, January 13 – of course it's supposed to be good and all of the actors are supposed to be awesome (I would've loved to read his blog during last season, just to see how what he says would compare to the drivel they gave us).

What I really loved, however, was this little snippet he has on the site:

It's Emmy day, but alas no 24 nominations on the big night except for Kiefers. It's the first time in 6 years I won't be going to the show. I will however be visiting a couple of after parties. We did win an award last weekend at the creative awards, for sound editing, which kept us from being shut out. The show has won at least one emmy for every year it has aired. And we are still the only Drama for Fox network in their history, that was won emmys for "Best Drama", "Best Actor" and "Best Director". And only one of 3 shows (X-Files and House) that have won for "Best Writing".

So he didn't attend the Emmys, because, to me, it sounds like he KNEW that Kiefer wasn't going to win. And like I mentioned the other day, when you win an Emmy, you gotta hang your hat on something – even if it's the Emmy for best sound editing in a series. Keep your eye on his blog for more news. Too bad there's not an RSS feed. I guess he didn't want to be TOO 21st century.

24 named one of Time's Best 100 TV Shows
This one I was so-so on, but when Time even rips season six while saying what a great concept 24 is, you gotta respect that. Check out the beautiful first line:

I was hesitant to include this show after its sixth—and admittedly terrible—season.

Major cast additions/announcements today
The ladies over at 24fan are reporting that Fox will make some major cast additions (and returns) today. As you can see, some are already speculating that Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard) will be coming back to the show. As you can see on IMDB, on Carlos' profile AND on the Season 7 page, this hasn't been confirmed yet.

If he does come back, however, 24 will have definitely gone off the deep end in trying to return to power. I say leave Tony off and figure out a way to bring back the good President Palmer. I wouldn't even care how they explained that one.

24 Season 6 Wins An Emmy, Just One

2007-09-17T05:13:00.001-07:00

It's official – season six sucked. Weird. Who knew?

As I posted a while back about the six Emmy nominations that the show somehow garnered, I made some predictions about what they would win for. Well, I was one for two. Fox can be proud of being this year's winner for Outstanding Sound Editing For A Series.

What an honor. It may have sucked, but at least it sounded good while doing it.

Oh boy, what will season seven bring us?

Jack Bauer for President and Stephen King

2007-08-27T18:12:00.001-07:00

In easily the most retarded 24-related news I've ever read, it looks as if some think that having Jack Bauer as Commander in Chief would be the best thing since sliced bread up terrorists. Is it feasible? Sure, Arnold was elected as California governer. But what would that really mean for our country? Let's take a look at Jack's credentials...

American citizen, born and raised
Served as government agent for several agencies – US Army Delta Force, LAPD SWAT, and finally the Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) Los Angeles (which is fake)
Thwarted at least five terrorist attacks on US soil and one Presidential assassination attempt
Widowed, but can't keep a stable relationship longer than a year
One daughter, estranged
Father conspired AGAINST America
Brother conspired AGAINST America
Faked his own death to help America
Killed Chinese ambassador and countless terrorists
Spent 18 months in Chinese prison to help America avoid war
Constantly insists doing things his way because “it's the only way”
Can navigate through LA in 15 minutes flat
Has a man-bag
Has died twice and come back to life
Contemplated suicide, but DIDN'T pull trigger
World's best marksman with handheld
Favorite catch-phrase is “damnit”
Can bite people to death (probably because he was once a vampire)

Know what? Maybe he would be a good candidate. He's got my vote.

...

In other news, loyal reader Ivan has pointed out the following quip from Stephen King:

Even when the stuff's bad, you keep buying, hoping this time you'll get some of the primo stuff that hooked you. Remember the spectacular second season of 24, when President Palmer (the believable President Palmer) and Jack Bauer (the believable Jack Bauer) were trying to keep the believable terrorists from blowing up L.A.? I got that season on DVD and sat there in front of my TV hour after hour, slamming in new discs and hoping that Jack would whack the abusive father who was terrorizing Kim. Last season's 24 was only a pale imitation, but I'll be back next year, hoping for a return to the good stuff: more thrills, less filler.

Yes, this was the SAME Stephen King that said the first four episodes of season six were “so good it's scary.” Think he's ready to take that all back, now?

24 Season 7: More News

2007-08-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

Loyal reader Jonk has pointed me in the direction of the latest news haul for season 7. It comes from the Chicago Tribune and it does have it's fair share of spoilers... so BEWARE!!! I'm going to pull some quotes from the article and talk about them below.

And Fox has confirmed that "Entourage's" Rhys Coiro, who plays nutty director Billy Walsh on the Hollywood dramedy, has been cast on "24." Garofalo told Jam Showbiz that he'll play another FBI staffer who works with Gold.

So Entourage's Billy Walsh, who works with Ari Gold will be an FBI staffer who works with Janis Gold (Garofalo). If only we knew the name of Ari's wife... please say it's Janis! Or Janice. Or something similar. In any case, that's another pseudo-comedic actor who's joined the ranks.

At Comic-Con in July, the show’s producers also floated the idea of bringing back Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard), but that concept is still in the rumor stage.

Genius idea... not. But I bet these guys are creaming in their jeans.

Production was supposed to start in late July, but the writing staff decided to toss the story they had originally planned to tell, which would have taken Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) to Africa and New York.

Good thing, as traveling from NY to Africa would've put Jack on a plane for about half the season. Smart move!

There’s been a slight tweak there, executive producer David Fury noted. Now the plan is to bring Jack before a federal grand jury (instead of a Congressional Committee). “The change was due to the time of day the hearing would take place, and other story concerns. But the purpose is the same,” Fury said.

That's quite the difference! Good call!

Within the universe of the show, “CTU has been dismantled by a corrupt bureaucracy,” Fury said. “Instead, we'll be focusing on FBI headquarters in Washington.”

It's probably best, seeing that CTU would allow the terrorists to go through with 90% of their plans before Jack stopped them. But I'm not sure that the FBI isn't much worse. Oh the webs that 24 spins.

Executive producer Michael Loceff told a Seattle Fox affiliate that next year’s story lines will be “smaller” and more “personal.”

Really? I sure do hope they're being honest here. What a novel idea.

Garafalo’s casting may bring about some lively debates behind the scenes; the actress and comic has been a commentator for the liberal Air America radio network, while “24” co-creator Joel Surnow called himself a “right-wing nut job” in a February New Yorker article about the show.

“But Joel will tell you this – the politics on the show are very varied,” executive producer Evan Katz said in an interview at Comic-Con. “He’s really at one end of the spectrum, and most of us are not. Not at all.”

“But I also feel that the storytelling is pretty apolitical,” Katz added. “You assume [former president] David Palmer was a Democrat and [former president] Charles Logan was a Republican, but there’s no reason to assume that. We purposely stay away from [depicting] any real domestic issues, partly because it’s distracting from the stories we’re trying to tell. We’re not ‘The West Wing.’ And also, we don’t want to alienate 50 percent of the audience.”

Right! You've never been able to tell what party everyone was a part of... orrrr... let's rewind to season one and see what Wikipedia says about David Palmer. Then you have the fact that Sherry Palmer also mentions, paraphrased, "You are the Democratic nominee for President". And except for the fact that Palmer (democrat) ran against Keeler (republican) in the general election, and then Logan replaced the incapacitated Keeler. But yeah, they're not party-aligned.

As for the idea that the show has, at times, legitimized torture as a method of gaining information, Katz said it will always be part of Jack’s “arsenal,” but he also said the writers are “a little sick of it.”

“I think we intend to have him torture people less, simply because we as writers have done it a lot and we always want to do something different,” Katz said.

The writers are getting sick of it? You always want to do something different? YOU'RE THE WRITING STAFF AND THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS!!! No one is making you write torturing into the script.

“The critics kind of savaged us a little bit last year, I thought mostly unfairly, so it was nice to see that the fans, as I kind of suspected, stick with the show even if they’re momentarily disappointed about one thing or another,” Katz said.

Unfairly? You "won" Emmys for acting, directing and drama... and you're talking about unfairness? Sheesh.

Fury said in a July interview that it’s not really possible to plan an entire “24” season out in advance. And it does seem like a good idea to keep things flexible: for example, part of the decision to focus much of Season 5’s stellar storytelling on Martha and Charles Logan (who were played by Gregory Itzin and Jean Smart) came as a result of the writers and producers seeing what great work the actors were doing.

“It’s very difficult to map things out, and when you try to do that, everything starts to feel stale,” Fury said. “By nature of what the show is, we almost have to let it be very fluid.”

Ladies and gentlemen... THAT is the exact reason 24 has sucked the past few seasons. How can a show be difficult to map out? Oh, well maybe when your story line gets scrapped twice before production starts... that may make it tough.

Consider yourself informed.

24 Season 7: Production Delays (Again) and Janeane Garofalo

2007-08-21T05:22:00.001-07:00

Yes, for those of you who don't know, Season 7 is progressing very nicely. So nicely, in fact, that the writers and producers can't seem to agree on what direction the show will go next year. And now, for the SECOND TIME, the production start date for 24 has been pushed back.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, shooting on the new "24" season was expected to begin on Aug. 27, but is being moved to Sept. 10 as writers scramble to complete a certain number of scripts.

...

By this time last year, "24" was announcing guest stars at a rate of two or three a week, but the only new cast member announced so far has been Cherry Jones, playing the president of the United States.

Speaking of cast member announcements, let's, uh, applaud the latest??? (Again from The Hollywood Reporter)

Actress-comedian Janeane Garofalo, an outspoken liberal, is set to co-star on the conservative-leaning real-time drama, whose co-creator/executive producer Joel Surnow jokingly describes himself as a "right-wing nut job."

What? A comedian on the show? A super liberal one at that? Does that mean she'll make fun of everyone for driving around in giant SUVs? Will she deter any company or government agency from using torture? Or will she just become another big-name attached to the show to get people to watch... maybe they want more female liberals this time???

I will say that she did a fantastic job on The West Wing... but that was a REAL Emmy-winning show for writing, direction and acting. I don't see her success with that show translating to awesomeness here, though.

Nothing like grasping at straws, eh FOX?

24 Season 6 Nominated for (only) 6 Emmys

2007-07-19T07:57:00.001-07:00

Oh my, it looks like it's the beginning of the end. With critics calling this 24's lousiest season ever, it was only a matter of time that the award nominations started to dry up, too. What's worse for those in 24-ville... it just racked up its lowest amount of Emmy nominations ever – a whopping six.

24 Season 6 Emmy Nominations:

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series (Jean Smart) *
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series (Kiefer Sutherland)
Outstanding Music Composition For A Series (Original Dramatic Score)
Outstanding Sound Editing For A Series (Episode 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM) *
Outstanding Sound Mixing For A Comedy Or Drama Series (one-hour) (Episode 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM)
Outstanding Stunt Coordination (Episode 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM)

That's it gang. No more directing nominations. No more writing nominations. No more casting nominations. There's even less technical nominations than usual. Is it any wonder why season 7 has already been scrapped and is starting over?

I’ve marked my predictions for 24’s winners with asteriks above. Kiefer won't win back-to-back Emmys this time, even though he did bite someone to death (that's acting). Jean Smart, who many say got snubbed last year, will win with her 20 minute guest appearance. There's not much else to talk about here since all 24 will get acclaimed for is having good stunt work and sound editing. But hey, you gotta hang your hat on something, right?

We’ll see how it does. Below are 24’s past nominations and wins.

Season 1: 2002 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
Winner: Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Art Direction for a Single Camera Series
Nominated: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 2: 2003 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Nominated: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 3: 2004 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Winner: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Winner: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 4: 2005 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Cinematography for a Single-Camera Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Nominated (three times): Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Winner: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 5: 2006 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Cinematography For A Single-Camera Series
Winner: Outstanding Directing For A Drama Series
Winner: Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing For A Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing For A Drama Series (nominated twice)
Winner: Outstanding Music Composition For A Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Winner: Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series (Kiefer Sutherland)
Nominated: Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series (Gregory Itzin)
Nominated: Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series (Jean Smart)
Winner: Outstanding Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing For A Series
Nominated: Outstanding Single-Camera Sound Mixing For A Series
Nominated: Outstanding Stunt Coordination

24 Season 7: Starting Over!?! Season 6 Sucked!?! Do Tell!

2007-07-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

Hmmm. So I guess the first episode script I read a few weeks ago may now be complete trash. A loyal reader/commentor has pointed me in the direction of the latest and greatest news from the 24 camp. Here's a few snippets from the article:

Execs at the Fox hit have scrapped virtually their entire story line for the season, delaying the start of production by roughly three weeks. According to sources, the 11th-hour time-out was called after the network put the kibosh on a costly plan to shoot a number of episodes in Africa.

Wow! Scrapped the entire story line? That's pretty crazy to do, especially since they were so close to principle photography for next season. It also sounds like they were just going to try to find a suitable area around LA to fake the Africa scenes... heh, okay.

Let's see, what else. Oh, this is what Mary Lynn Rajskub had to say about the situation:

"I don't know what's going on over there, but they're going crazy," says the scene-stealer, who learned only last week that Chloe would be returning. "We usually start [back up] at the end of July, and I don't think we're starting until a couple of weeks into August now. It's kind of exciting, because I think [the postponement] means that they're really having to dig in there and come up with new stuff."

So Mary Lynn only found out last week that she was returning? What would be the point of the whole baby story line from last year if she didn't return? And please, you think this is exciting to have an ENTIRE SEASON RE-WRITE right before you start filming? If that statement doesn't have your publicist's finger prints written all over it, I don't know what does.

As the article mentions, and what I see to be icing on the cake, is that this news oddly came out the SAME DAY as this news:

The show's creative team was no doubt already feeling the pressure: Day 6 was considered to be about as explosive as a wet firecracker, so for Season 7 they really needed a plot that was incendiary. In fact, news of the setback comes on the same day the semiannual Television Week critics' poll (in which yours truly participated) named 24 the second-worst show on TV, behind ABC's best-not-traveled October Road.

What have I been saying all along!?! This show took a MAJOR dive TWO seasons ago... and critics are just now catching up. I'm sorry, shows don't go from Emmy-winning to second worst on TV in 6 months. That's residual. It's ingrained. It's also hilarious that they decide to scrap it the same day they find out their show blows.

News about season 7's new turn can only come fast enough. I guess they have three weeks to come up with something. Maybe they're awaiting next week's Emmy-nominations to find out if their show truly sucked. Crystal ball time – they'll get a few nominations, for technical stuff. Zero in the acting, or genre, categories.

If only there were "Worst of" awards...

24 Season 7: The First Episode Script Synopsis

2007-06-30T06:39:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Things are popping up in the 24 news world. Loyal reader Jonk has pointed me to a television forum that has a synopsis of the first episode for season seven (look for Post #4334). Apparently news from previous seasons have ended up on the forum and 90% of the time, that news pans out to be true.

Now I've just read the synopsis, and here's what I think (WARNING: Even though this is rumored material, I wouldn't read past here unless you're okay knowing about next season):

The show's producers knew that they had to change 24 up. In fact, please recall that they were going to "reinvent" the show. How'd they do it? Here's a synopsis of the synopsis:

The location is in Washington D.C., not L.A.
That means that instead of smog in the backgrounds of shots, we'll have the Capitol building (which is mentioned). Jack is still driving around, even though DC has a pretty good mass transit system, but this time the size of the city won't be overly daunting for time travel. This also puts us REALLY close to the White House, which is always a good thing in the 24 world.
Jack no longer works for CTU
I guess he was finally done with death and working with the government. So now, he works for a defense contractor – who may, or may not, be selling arms to Muslims and/or rogue African nations. What a stretch this will be from the job he had with Heller in season five.
Jack's boss and another defense contractor hate each other
There's your first sign of a bad rub. Jack's boss thinks this other dude is setting him up and sends Jack to figure out what's going on... because Jack's new job is as an Investigator? Unfortunately, even his own boss wants him dead and sends people to kill Jack. So there's a shoot-out, in the streets of DC. Good thing Jack still carries a weapon around... in DC... when he's probably constantly talking to lobbyists and senators.
Jack's got a new chicky
They're totally doing it in the first episode (at least its not 60 year olds), too. Then he leaves and she pulls the ole "I'm sleeping with you only to get information for my employer," routine. But Jack was playing the, "I know exactly what you're doing, so I'm giving you fake information but making you think that I'm giving you real information... ha ha ha, you dumb bitch... you're a bad lay, anyway," routine. Backstabbing by a lover, this is totally a new twist in 24 (see Nina in season one, see Invasion Chick/Hornball in season six).
Chloe and Morris aren't at CTU anymore
They're now at Division. With child (Gwenyth). I don't really understand this move. Why do you promote two employees who were constant sources of mess ups at CTU? We all know the place was understaffed, so when enemies hacked into the CTU computers, there's only a handful of people to blame. Chances are, the whiney chick who hates Division and the alcoholic will be blamed first. Oh, but get this, in the first episode, Division gets hacked! That's quite the track record they bring with them to DC. And the only reason the writers gave the baby a name is because there will be some story line with her involved.
The rumors of a female president are true
It's only fair. The show has had both a white and black male president. It's time for some estrogen in the White House. Let's also make her despise her husband and make that into a major story line. We've never seen the President and their First Mate ever have problems (see David Palmer vs. Sherry, see Grizzly Logan vs. psycho).
Old faces return
It's been said that Bill and Karen will return in episode two.

Talk about reinventing 24. Reading the synopsis, I almost had no clue as to what the show was. It sounded SO DIFFERENT than previous years. Yes, that's sarcasm and I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Honestly, this sounds like the same song in a different pitch. The writers can't seem to ween themselves away from the Middle East, the White House, backstabbing plots, computer hacking troubles, shoot-outs in the middle of the street with non-authoritative figures, or anything else we've seen in other seasons of 24. Do the writers think that merely changing the city and making the president a woman reinvents the show? Wow. Hardly in my book.

I'll try to withhold judgement until I actually see the first episode in January. But if this pans out to be true, then I'm already down on the season and what FOX has done to make the show better. Aka, nothing.

24 Season 7 News: The Show Needs a Woman's Touch?

2007-06-22T22:27:00.001-07:00

The latest news about 24's seventh season comes from TV Guide (hat tip, Jonk):

Word on the street is that the Commander in Chief on next season's revamped 24 will likely be a (drumroll, please) woman. Casting could begin any day now on the sure-to-be-plum part. A show rep, however, cautions, "Nothing about next season has been absolutely decided as of yet."

Good lord. THIS is how we revamp for next season? By stealing a plot twist from Prison Break adding a female president? If you continue on reading the full article, it also mentions that there may be a female FBI agent in the mix AND no CTU. Additionally, new cities (New York, Washington D.C. and London) are being scouted. And lastly, only Jack and Chloe are set to return.

What a shake-up. Talk about reinventing the show.

Can't we just get rid of the whole White House story line? It's old and tired. Plus, as Jonk points out, this would be the 9th president the show has seen (some in theory).

I thought we were going in a totally different direction. But I guess we HAVE to keep Chloe around since she's pregnant with Morris', or could it be Milo's, baby... and we couldn't pass up another opportunity to see Chloe be awkward with a baby (see season three). It's gold, I guess.

They're going to add females to the mix. So what? Same song, different tune. I'm bored already.

24 Season 6 Earns ZERO Nominations by the Television Critics Association

2007-06-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

Biggest. Shocker. Ever.

Last year, Season Five was nominated three times by the Television Critics Association, but came up empty handed. It was a strange twist indeed, but I think it spoke volumes. The same critics that hailed Season Five as the best ever, couldn't vote for them to win awards. I just don't know how that loss translates into Emmy wins -- I still say it was a make-up award from seasons One through Three.

Well, this year, in what was easily the crappiest season ever, 24 couldn't even muster up a single nod from the TCA.

Boo hoo. Good thing they're "reinventing" the show.

24 Season 7 Teaser

2007-05-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post could contain spoilers. Proceed at your own risk.

Oh boy! We're not even a full 24 hours past the season six finale and we're already being teased about season seven! Joyous occasion! If any of you missed last nights 14 second snippet, here it is.

Yes, they DID say that next season will be the "best season yet." That's good, because I totally trust FOX and their marketing ploys now. What's disconcerting is that while the Executive Producer is talking about re-inventing the show, FOX runs a promo that showcases torture, gun fire, sex and explosions. Talk about being on the same page creatively, eh?

So what exactly are we looking forward to next season? How about we pull up some of the things that WEREN'T answered or left conveniently open-ended this year.

What Important Thing Was Jack Traded For?
Brother Palmer's (Wayne) Injury
The Nadia/Silver Spoon (Doyle) Love Angle
The Chloe/Morris Love Angle
The Jack/Marilyn Love Angle
Audrey Becoming Sane
What Happened in Denver?
What Happened to Milo's Bro?
What Happened to That Guy Who Checked in on Nadia?
Daddy Bauer, Dead or Alive?
President Grizzly Logan, Dead or Alive?
Component, Dead or Alive?
Josh Bauer, Kim's Brother or Cousin?
Jack Bauer, Suicidal or Sane?

As you can see, the writers left themselves plenty to choose from for next season. Though, I really think that the show needs to break ground again and go in a different direction.

24 Season 6: Episode 23 Recap(Hours 4:00 a.m. - 6:00 a.m.)The Season FinaleThe 100th Post

2007-05-21T20:17:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Alas we have come to the end of season six. This was supposed to be the best season ever, their follow-up to their "Emmy-winning" season five. So how do they follow that up? They create a season that featured more characters and plot twists than ever before. They included several recycled plot lines. They wrote crappy dialogue and dumbed everything down for their aging viewer base. Wow, what a follow up. Thank goodness we only had to spend 19 weeks with them this year, too bad the last episode was two hours long.

The Beginning of the End
The helicopter with Silver Spoon and Josh races along the coast and apparently is pretty sound-proof inside... that allows Silver Spoon to explain to Josh what's going on (which really serves as a chance to let the audience know what's going on). Silver Spoon needs to inject Josh with a tracking isotope for when he's taken -- let's hope he's not like Gredenko and cuts his arm off, too.

Jack is placed in temporary custody to protect CTU's operation. Say, how many times this year has Jack been placed in custody? Not to be outdone, Jack calls Chloe who immediately says "Nadia said you were in custody." Didn't that JUST happen? How would she know? Never mind that, Jack wants to know why they're trading Josh over to Daddy Bauer -- I don't ever recall hearing that being told to Jack, but he's all-knowing. Even though Silver Spoon has a plan, Jack doesn't trust it and wants to talk to Karen.

At the White House, Evil Veep, Fish and Karen are on the phone with the Russian President. Those three are the only three people that matter in DC -- decisions and conversations about war usually only involve three people. Evil Veep explains the dilly about the sub-circuit board/circuit board/component. Just then, Karen's 1980s cell phone rings and SHE LEAVES THE CONFERENCE CALL WITH THE RUSSIAN PRESIDENT. Jack talks to Karen and tells them that they're crazy for making a deal with his father. You see, his dad is "smart enough to manipulate this exchange." Please Jack, explain this to us dumb audience members, we don't understand the situation fully. Karen tells Jack that she agrees with him and that he needs to take care of it on his end. If only! He's under arrest... AGAIN! Just then the doors open and Jack has to get off the phone... man, it sure took a long time for those CTU agents to get in the car to take Jack back to CTU.

Karen updates Fish about her phone call with Jack... to which Fish asks, "I thought he was under arrest." Yes Fish, we're right there with you, Jack probably shouldn't still have a phone on him. She tells Fish that Jack thinks Daddy Bauer will try to get the boy AND the sub-circuit board/circuit board/component. Fish is perplexed, but Karen trusts Jack's instincts because, "he's been more right today than we have." Fish doesn't have the right relationship with Evil Veep to suggest an alternative plan -- but he'll definitely commit treason by looking the other way while Karen does! THAT'S why there should always be just three people running the White House -- less loose ends to tie up.

Karen calls Bill (aww, they have matching phones), who's at home with the FBI while they take all of his stuff... at 4:00 am. Karen spills her guts to Bill, who really shouldn't be hearing any of this information since he was FIRED. But Karen needs his help and doesn't care that the FBI is at his house and not helping CTU find the missing sub-circuit board/circuit board/component. Karen says that Nadia is a dead-end and asks Bill to do whatever it takes to stop the exchange.

Silver Spoon and Josh land on the beach, Nadia confirms that fact with the up-and-running-again-real-time satellites. They check on the tracking device inside of Josh, and, yup, it's working, too... since they made a big deal out of it, that must mean the signal will get scrambled or lost at some point. Also, it's important to note that, according to episode 16, the tracking isotope inside of Josh is only traceable up to 15 miles -- I'm willing to bet that CTU is much further away than 15 miles... don't you?

Silver Spoon, the only CTU agent at the exchange point gets a scrambled phone call -- don't worry, Morris explains to Nadia (and us stupid audience members) that they'll still be able to listen in on the call... just not trace it... or pinpoint the origin. Silver Spoon answers the phone and Daddy Bauer tells CTU to turn off their satellite feed (they must be stealing it illegally), apparently he has an "uplink" into their system. Morris confirms it but doesn't know how it's possible -- so he can program a trigger to work for a nuke, but can't figure out how this uplink is working? No worries, though, because Josh's tracker is on an internal network. WAIT... the satellite feed, something that could give away precious internal information is on an external network!?! Really!?!

Anyway, Morris shuts down the satellite and Silver Spoon sends the chopper back to CTU. Since their last conversation went so well and provided no real plot development, Daddy Bauer wants to talk to Josh again. Daddy Bauer tries to convince Josh that China will be cool. Silver Spoon and Josh wait for Daddy Bauer's goons to come get Josh. While they wait, Silver Spoon wants to know how he'll confirm that the sub-circuit board/circuit board/component is real... this is easy, the sub-circuit board/circuit board/component has an R72 Socket that he can plug his PDA into. Yes, the old Russian sub-circuit board/circuit board/component, that was inside of suitcase nukes from the 1980s and contains essential bits of information about Russia's security, has a port that a PDA can plug into.

Silver Spoon tells Nadia that he's going to try and grab the kid back if he has an opportunity, to which Nadia gets pissed and says no, apparently they've broken the rules too much today. Karen calls Nadia to check in on the status of the exchange. Nadia tells Karen that Jack is being transferred to detention at District... for the first time ever, someone won't be held at CTU... that'll make it so much easier for Jack to escape. Nadia gets called to the lounge because of Marilyn Bauer -- she wants to see her son and not be treated like a prisoner. She threatens to sue Nadia and CTU and then wrestles with the security guards. Two more security guards are sent in to take Marilyn into holding... yes, holding. Attention to all you mothers out there missing your children on the day of a nuclear attack on US soil -- don't act all hysterical!

As Jack is being taken to District, the vehicle he's in is forced off the road. As Agent #1 (Turner) gets out to check on the situation, Agent #2 remembers why he failed Arresting Class in Police School as the non-handcuffed Jack steals his gun. The VERY un-American Bill gets out of his Toyota truck and talks Turner down from shooting him... then Jack knocks both agents out and he leaves with Bill.

Back at CTU, Milo's Bro (Stuart) shows up and Chloe hugs him. He's there to sign a release for Milo's body and Chloe goes to help him.

At the White House, Karen opens her computer up and notices that she no longer has access. She calls Bill to tell him thanks, that she's sorry and loves him. Two seconds later, she gets arrested.

Nadia talks to Milo's Bro inside the CTU locker room? He asks how Milo died and she tells him the gallant story. He tells Nadia that Milo was really in love with her and had mentioned her before... wasn't their love a new thing on the show... I mean, wasn't he all involved with Chloe and Morris at one point this season? Anyway, after a phone call with Chloe about the breaking news regarding Jack's escape (that we knew about three minutes earlier, so who took Karen's access away since CTU just found out?), Nadia turns to find that Milo's Bro is gone to NEVER reappear. Ever. Pointless.

Josh pleads with Silver Spoon to not go through with this and Silver Spoon pulls the ole, "you gotta do this for your country" bit. And then, for good measure, the writers give him the Jack line of giving Josh "his word that he'll get him back." Nadia calls and tells Silver Spoon that Jack's escaped and on his way... to which Silver Spoon uses another Jack response, "damn it."

Karen's being held in some weird brick-walled detention cell inside the White House... they have detention cells in the White House? Evil Veep comes and to berate Karen for her actions. She protects Fish. Evil Veep says that if Jack prevents this exchange and the Russians attack, it's all her fault -- see, one of three people get pinned. Easy.

Silver Spoon gets a call from Daddy Bauer and is instructed to walk Josh down to the beach. Morris notices that Chloe is pale. A boat pulls up with Daddy Bauer's goons. Silver Spoon and Goon A exchange the sub-circuit board/circuit board/component at gunpoint. As Silver Spoon hooks his PDA into the sub-circuit board/circuit board/component, it explodes! Goon A grabs Josh just as Jack and Bill show up. Jack doesn't have a clear shot and the goons drive away. Daddy Bauer doesn't trust CTU so he has the goons scan Josh with a green LED light. Sure enough, they find the tracking isotope and then use a red laser pointer to disable it.

Jack calls Blondie (Reynolds) at CTU and asks for Nadia. He explains what happened and says that Josh is with Daddy Bauer's goons on a boat. He needs satellite coverage. Unfortunately, satellites are like stadium florescent lights -- they turn off in two seconds, but take more than five minutes to get back up and running. Nadia, fresh off of losing Milo, is concerned with Doyle's injuries. Jack tells her to hurry and fights off the urge to tell her he was right.

Evil Veep already knows the bad news about the exchange and is upset that Karen, and ulitmately Jack, was right. He gives Fish a lesson in power. Fish then tells Evil Veep that he should dismiss the charges levied against Karen... but Evil Veep just wants answers... and some sex.

Jack calls Nadia and tells her that Silver Spoon is okay but might be blind in both eyes. Nadia is sad that her rockin' body may not be fully appreciated by Silver Spoon and tells Jack that she was wrong not to listen to him... is this REALLY the morale we want to be telling in a story -- that one man is ALWAYS right? Jack figures out that Daddy Bauer is on an off-shore oil rig... CTU apparently sucks at their job since they didn't think of that knowing full well who Daddy Bauer is and what he did for a living.

Cut to the oil rig... Daddy Bauer is STILL working with incompetent Chang! They exchange horrible dialogue and then Daddy Bauer looks out to the ocean and feels Jack through the Force. Jack knows that there is still good in him.

Chloe's vision starts to get blurry. She gets up to talk to Morris and collapses. Morris yells for someone to help him, but no one wants to since he got drilled in the arm after helping arm the nuke.

Daddy Bauer's goons finally show up to the oil rig and Josh is reunited with his grandfather. Chang lets Daddy Bauer know that the submarine is on schedule and should be there in 30 minutes.

Chloe is resting in the CTU medical wing, she collapsed because she's exhausted and dehydrated -- uh, football players die from the exact same thing and I think Chloe should sue CTU for poor working conditions. She tells Morris to go back onto the floor and sheds a tear as he leaves... why does love make us do such silly things. Morris hops on Nadia's machine and does the ol' tried and true thermal scan on the oil rig. Sure enough, he finds the right rig in 10 seconds.

Fish tells Evil Veep that Daddy Bauer and Josh have been located on the rig. CTU is on their way, but one of Evil Veep's men suggests that an air attack is the best way to ensure not messing up. Fish agrees but isn't sure an aerial attack is worth the life of an innocent 16 year-old. Wait... WHAT!?! Let's see... waaaaaaaaaaar, or Josh. Waaaaaaaaaar, orrrrrrrrrrr Josh. Hmmm. Evil Veep concurs and sends the air strike.

Josh talks to Nadia and she tells him that Evil Veep ordered an air strike and that he and Bill are to come back to CTU for an immediate de-brief -- or to be arrested again since they've both committed treason. Bill tells Jack to not do something stupid. Jack says the only reason he's going to do said stupid thing is NOT because Josh is his nephew, but because taking the life of an innocent 16 year-old is not acceptable -- to stop a war Jack, I'd say... yeeeeeeeah, it is. But hey, Jack is ALWAYS right.

In the world of 24, where timing is everything, it took 20 minutes for the boat to go six miles on the ocean. It'll take the air strike team more than 27 minutes to get in range. But the helicopter has been flying for almost five, and it's still not at the oil rig? That's a slow chopper. Evil Veep talks to the Russian President and asks him to hold off on his attack based on some new evidence. Luckily, this time, the Russian President believes him since he knows that a Chinese sub is in their area... WAIT UP!!! HOW DID A CHINESE SUB GET THAT CLOSE TO THE U.S. WITHOUT US KNOWING!?!

Chang tells Daddy Bauer that a helicopter is approaching. He gives Daddy Bauer the component and goes to help attack the chopper. Bill lands the chopper as Jack snipes several people with an assault rifle. Impressive. Jack shoots everyone and doesn't believe Chang's "you're too late," line and goes searching for Josh. Daddy Bauer and Josh are in the basement of the rig and Daddy Bauer tries to give a lesson in the Force to Josh. Suddenly the air strike team is near and ready to blow the place up. Josh whacks Daddy Bauer in the head with a wrench. Josh takes the gun and shoots Daddy Bauer just as Jack finds them. Jack talks Josh down and tells him to get to the top of the rig.

Jack faces off with Daddy Bauer and jack tells him that by dying, he gets off easy.

You Said You Wanted a Resolution?

Bill takes off and Jack jumps on just as the rig is blown to pieces. Success!
As they're making it to the shore, Jack falls off of the chopper ladder. He washes up on to the beach and just as it appears that Bill will pick him up, Jack takes off because, "he's not ready to go back, yet."
Evil Veep wants sleep, but Fish wants Karen to be taken off the hook and for her and Bill to be able to resign. Evil Veep agrees and Fish gives him the evidence he held over him.
Morris goes to visit Chloe, who despite being exhausted and dehydrated, isn't hooked up to an IV or sleeping. Chloe's condition is serious and Morris wants to get back together with her. She's preggers. And yet, nobody cares.
Karen is released by Fish.
Josh and Bill return to CTU with Chang in custody.
Josh is reunited with Marilyn.
Nadia speaks with Bill and he tells her that Jack is gone.

The TWIST
Heller is talking on the phone at his house and Jack shows up asking for Audrey. He talks about Heller's ludicrous remark that everything Jack touches is cursed. He yells at Heller for not trying hard enough to get him out of China. Jack simply wants his life back... and he wants Audrey, too. Then Heller brings up Teri... diss! Heller takes Jack to see Audrey. Jack holds her hand but she doesn't respond because she's sleeping and is psycho. Jack decides that he has to leave her alone and go away on his own.

Jack leaves Heller's place and contemplates jumping off the deck into the ocean. And that's how it ends. Wait... that's how it ends!?!

THAT was the twist ending? THAT is how the writers are starting off the reinvented, re-imagined 24!?! You've got to be kidding me. People, they're grasping at straws! They were so ready for this lost season to end that they tried everything they could to get you to watch. Even the small promo for season seven promised it would be the best season ever... I'll tell you right now, if they just replayed season one next year, I would agree with that claim.

This season was awful. Abysmal. Not creative in the least bit. Nor exciting. I ask someone to go back and count how many times the plot shifted and how many stories they tried to tell. Young writers, take note... this is NOT how to write engaging television.

Good riddance season six.

Predict the Final Two Hours of 24 Season Six

2007-05-18T12:57:00.001-07:00

TWO MORE HOURS!!! Yes, that's right. We've hung in there all season long and have been poking holes in it the entire time (well, most of us, that is). And we're finally at the apex of it all. What could possibly happen now? The Executive Producer promises something crazy, but I would advise you to remain calm. Nothing they do on Monday night will fix the crap that was this season.

Last week I posted a list of things that they have yet to tie up -- we know how much the writers like to put bows on things. This week, let's really try and figure out what will happen to the main plots still left. I'll start us off:

Brother Palmer's injury
He regains consciousness in time to help talk the Russian President off the ledge.
Sister Palmer and her wanna-be terrorist boyfriend
I think we've seen the last of these two, thank God.
Karen and Bill's marriage
Stronger than ever since Karen will coerce Bill to go help Jack behind someone's back.
The Nadia/Silver Spoon love angle (since Milo is dead)
They'll try to make us think that they're the next Tony/Michelle. We'll all vomit in our mouths.
The Chloe/Morris love angle
This looks like it could be a potential major plot line as Chloe looked hurt in the previews. My guess, she dies.
The Jack/Marilyn love angle
Jack will leave her high and dry, even though Josh is his bastard son.
Audrey becoming sane
Not entirely. She'll snap out of her hysterics to give the US a key piece of information about how the Russians and Chinese are secretly working together to fight the US.
Heller giving in to Jack's desire to be with his psycho daughter
I could really care less.
Daddy Bauer's ultra-patriotism
Turns out he hates America, who knew!?!
What the hell ever happened in Denver?
This could be a bad un-tied loose end. I do, however, think it'll creep back in during the last hour.
Poor Man Rob Lowe's testimony
He's done.
Invasion Chick's Hornball boyfriend
He's done, too.
Evil Veep's nasty sexual story line
Won't check into re-hab, too busy trying to spin more lies to the Russians.
Fish's allegiance to who?
Secretly hopes that Brother Palmer wakes up soon -- can't stand Evil Veep's attempts at seducing the newly appointed interns.
Chang and the component
Game over for Chang. Too bad Jack doesn't get to pull the trigger.
CTU being held hostage
A metal plate will be installed over the sewer hole and things will be called good.
The Russians starting WWIII
It's obvious that something else is going on here aside from going to war over a piece of circuitry. Such an elaborate plot to declare war on the US.
What ever happened to Logan?
No funeral. No news coverage. Nothing.
Jack's acid-washed hands
Becomes depressed that back-up plan as a hand model is over.
Jack's propensity to eat flesh rather than real food over the past 21 hours
Pleads with everyone to start calling him Zombie-Jack, starts a cult in Texas.

What do you think will happen?

24 Seasons 7 and 8 Confirmed

2007-05-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

As reported by many entertainment web sites, 24 has indeed been green lit for two more seasons, taking them to a total of eight seasons. As reported by Zap2it.com:

With its sixth season finale approaching next Monday (May 21), "24" now has a seemingly secure spot on FOX's schedule through the 2008-09 season. Not-so-coincidentally, the renewal carries the show through the duration of star Kiefer Sutherland's contract with the show's production company, 20th Century Fox TV.

We had already known about Kiefer's new contract signed back in 2006, but FOX finally made the contract official by ordering seasons seven and eight.

I'm not sure about any of you, or your feelings towards the show, but I don't think this is a good move. As reported in the LA Times, 24's viewership has been steadily declining this season. So the Executive Producer has already promised that they're going to reinvent the show for next year. In my opinion, it's one season too late.

The Emmy-winning season five wasn't good and this season is arguably the worst. A reinvention may be necessary, but with the median age of the show steadily increasing, the writers going to be hard-pressed to reimagine the series in an inventive way. After all, they have to hit their viewership numbers, right?

What does everyone else think about this move?

24 Season 6: Episode 22 Recap(Hour 3:00 a.m. - 4:00 a.m.)

2007-05-14T19:58:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Aw no! Only three hours to go!?! Speaking of three, it's 3:00 a.m. in LA and all those people who were at the bar earlier in the season are now hitting the roads, probably drunk out of their gords since a NUCLEAR BOMB EXPLODED earlier in the day. That is, if they even noticed. What else is going on at 3:00 a.m.?

There's a Hole in the CTU Bucket
After finally coaxing Josh out of the air ducts, The Attack Team (TAT) takes Josh into the sewers (yes, the same one that's 8 feet below CTU's basement and only separated by a thin layer of concrete). Marilyn freaks out, Nadia protests (and gets knocked the hell down) and Jack screams for them to stop. They actually stop, because, who else besides Jack would they listen to? Then, for some reason, TAT Leader explains their escape plan – they're going to move everyone into a secure room in two groups and then they're leaving. Why don't they just kill everyone there? Chang already said to secure the boy by any means... and they've already declared them public enemy number one by blowing up a helicopter... but no, TAT chooses to go the Dr. Evil route by telling everyone their plan of escape.

While en route to the secure room, Jack formulates a plan to escape, because if they get locked in the room, they'll "lose their only chance to get the component." Never mind that Silver Spoon and his team are out there, Jack's just concerned because there's less than three hours left in this season, and rightfully so.

Jack makes his move and engages two TAT members. Nadia takes on a third one and Morris (who knew NOTHING about this plan) puts the sleeper hold on another guy. Jack chokes TAT Leader to death and then breaks his neck for good measure. Morris, who's showing no signs of a previously DRILLED SHOULDER, takes care of his guy. Then, Silver Spoon (who's not in his attack gear anymore) finally shows up -- he must've gotten caught up in that 3:00 a.m. bar traffic.

With the situation handled, Jack says that all he needs is a tactical set up and comm, and he's ready to go. Oh, but wait, Jack's still under arrest! He pleads with Nadia because he knows the schematics of the building better than anyone (since he's spent so much time down there -- Teri's death, killing Nina, trying to un-psycho Audrey, etc.) and he can find them -- I'm guessing that he knows the sewers, too, since that's where TAT went. Like a true leader of CTU, Nadia breaks protocol and allows Jack to be not-arrested. As she's telling Silver Spoon about Milo, Jack, who just got the tactical set up (aka a flak jacket), interrupts what would've been a lame romantic moment, and he leaves with Silver Spoon.

Jack and Silver Spoon hop into the tunnels -- literally. Which, I'm guessing isn't the smartest way to being a pursuit. They follow for five minutes and still haven't caught up to Josh's captors. Just then, Josh and TAT arrive at the warehouse. Chang calls Daddy Bauer and then gives the phone to Josh. Daddy Bauer tells Josh he wants to protect him from Graem's mistakes and says he's taking Josh to China. Chang and his men pack up to go.

The writers, seeking a new way for Jack to be extremely precise with his shooting, have him shoot the driver of a moving car while climbing through the warehouse floor. Another shootout commences, yawn. Jack pursues Chang and Josh to the roof. Josh kicks Chang in the face -- who cusses ($10 says it's the same phrase he muttered a few episodes ago when finding out that the component was damaged) -- and runs away. Jack makes it up to the roof and corners Chang -- who suddenly teleports away while Josh nearly kills himself.

Chang calls Daddy Bauer and tells him that Josh was lost. Daddy Bauer's upset because Josh was the price for fixing the circuit board! Daddy Bauer calls the deal off and says that the component is no longer the Chineses'. Chang threatens some serious consquences if it's not given back (like 20 months of torture, or blowing up an American Governmental Agency's helicopter, or driving three Hummers around thus hurting the Ozone layer), but Daddy Bauer doesn't flinch -- he's not scared of Chang.

Nadia asks Chloe if Chang and/or the component (which is now being called the circuit board, or, sometimes the sub-circuit board) had been found. Just then, Ben Cramm (Cram-It) shows up to assess the damage done to CTU. He then explains that it's basically Nadia's fault that CTU was broken into and that they lost a few people. Cram-It also explains that he feels dumb for accepting Bill Buchanan's (alert, what happens when a character's full name is used?) suggestion that Nadia should take over. Viewers are supposed to think this is unfair and that no one, not even Bill, could've prevented this break-in... but I suggest you not fall into that trap. Instead, we should ask why the writers continue to have CTU broken into and out of nearly every season? Surely they can come up with something better than that, right?

Morris overheard Nadia's conversation with Cram-It and consoles her that it wasn't her fault. But she totally blames herself for Milo's death. Boo-hoo. Morris gives her a rah-rah speech. And we all roll our eyes.

Jack phones in to CTU and asks to be patched through to Marilyn's cell phone -- which CTU happens to have handy and on file. Silver Spoon tells Jack that he and his men couldn't find the sub-circuit board anywhere and it looks like Chang somehow made it out alive. Jack explains all that he knows to Marilyn. Then Josh gets to talk to his mom, which probably means that Josh is going to get taken from Jack's custody.

Why the White House Shouldn't Lead Undercover Ops
Karen's back and informs Evil Veep about the Russian troop movement. She then says that Fish was supposed to be on the call with her and that she couldn't find him anywhere, so she asks Evil Veep if there's something that she should know about. The quick answer would be, "it's none of your business, or you'd already know." Instead, Evil Veep explains that Fish is in the filed running a classified operation...wait, WHY!?! He's the Chief of Staff! He's supposed to be running the White House while the President runs the country! That's unimportant!

Evil Veep explains that Invasion Chick's Hornball boyfriend was the leak... so Karen, just to assist the audience and clarify what he meant, asks, "so that's how the Russian's knew the Chinese had the component?" I feel dumber every time I watch this show. Evil Veep then explains why Karen wasn't on last week's episode kept in the loop on this -- because he was sleeping with Invasion Chick, too! And that if she doesn't convince Hornball to contact the Russians and say the component has been recovered, his mistake could lead them to war! Morale of the story -- don't have sexual relations with your employees.

Viewers are then treated to hearing Invasion Chick and Hornball having sex. Necessary. Hornball looks like he's in pain, but isn't sweating at all. Their pillow talk is lousy and she decides to finally go and wash up. Hornball hops outta bed and moves toward her purse. Fish gets excited because Hornball is too predictable. Wait... or is he...? Turns out he doesn't fall for the trap and then confronts her about her sex and how lousy it was! He freaks out on her and she breaks a wine bottle over his head. He then slaps her to the ground and then starts choking her. Just then, Fish's task force team breaks in and saves her (thank God, right?).

As the sun starts rising in DC, Fish breaks the situation down for Hornball. Either he helps fool the Russians, or he gets the death penalty.

Fish calls in to Evil Veep and says that the planted information has been sent to the Russians. He also tells him that Invasion Chick was hurt during the operation... Evil Veep gets upset with Fish and says that he should've protected her! Karen ends the phone call and tries to get Evil Veep under control so they can call Russian President Suberov and tell him a lie.

Suberov then calls them out for planting fake evidence!!! Oh man, what a twist! The Russians were watching Hornball's apartment, too, and already knows that they were lying. He then gives Evil Veep two hours (which, for those of you NOT keeping track, will be around the end of the season) to really destroy the component or else! Evil Veep then says the most obvious stupid plot point ever -- they're about to go to war over a piece of circuitry. Yeah, lame.

Fish gets back to the White House and intgerrupts Evil Veep's meeting after he gets a scrambled phone call from Daddy Bauer -- he wants Josh and clear passage to the country of his choice in exchange for the FC sub-circuit board. To prove that he has it, he calls out the serial number -- 3PTL3, which Fish confirms is true. Karen can't believe that Evil Veep is considering brokering a deal with Daddy Bauer. Evil Veep then questions why Suberov is doing this, which is something that NO ONE has thought of until now? Evil Veep decides to comply with Daddy Bauer and wants CTU on the phone.

In yet another lame cliff-hanger, as Jack tells Josh to get in the car to go back to CTU, he gets a phone call -- which turns out to be a diversion! Just then Silver Spoon grabs Josh and gets in a helicopter. Jack tries to get to Silver Spoon, but is stopped by all of the other CTU agents.

Seriously. Can't you just wait for the next two hours to be over? I bet Evil Veep is, since he was ready to go to war with some country in the Middle East, but now has to start planning on a war against Russia. Oh my, the suspense is killing me!!!

Episode 22 Predictions/Running Commentary

2007-05-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

There are only three hours left in the worst season of 24. Yes, the worst. With more and more banter popping up around the media outlets about how bad it truly is, the Executive Prodcuer on the show has promised the viewers that the finale will be something that will revitalize 24 and reinvent it. They're trying to hook us on Season Seven already since they gave up on this season about 20 episodes ago.

So they have three hours to close up all the gaps and STILL "hook us" for next season. What are those gaps, you say?

Brother Palmer's injury
Sister Palmer and her wanna-be terrorist boyfriend
Karen and Bill's marriage
The Nadia/Silver Spoon love angle (since Milo is dead)
The Chloe/Morris love angle
The Jack/Marilyn love angle
Audrey becoming sane
Heller giving in to Jack's desire to be with his psycho daughter
Daddy Bauer's ultra-patriotism
What the hell ever happened in Denver?
Poor Man Rob Lowe's testimony
Invasion Chick's Hornball boyfriend
Evil Veep's nasty sexual story line
Fish's allegance to who?
Chang and the component
CTU being held hostage
The Russians starting WWIII
What ever happend to Logan?
Jack's acid-washed hands
Jack's propensity to eat flesh rather than real food over the past 21 hours

As you can see, there's a lot of ground to cover in three hours. What do YOU think will happen this week? And if you watch the show in "real-time," feel free to leave comments here and I'll incorporate them into my write-up.

24 Season 6: Episode 21 Recap(Hour 2:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m.)

2007-05-07T20:04:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

As the season winds down, we're inevitably "treated" to more suspense and twists – because that's what this season really needs, more twists. The sad part is that in this sixth season of 24, they have to explain everything to the viewers. It's not about us figuring it out on our own, they have to guide us along... because we're stupid. Do you all want a cookie? You deserve one for watching this episode.

CTU – The Most Under-Protected Government Agency EVAR!!!
Five minutes after Heller put the smackdown on Jack, he's still stunned. Nadia goes to visit Jack and informs him that Heller has left with Audrey (who apparently doesn't need to undergo any other medical treatment right now). Nadia also reiterates that Heller wants Jack to stay away from Audrey – alert, that means that something will happen to Audrey and/or Heller and Jack will HAVE to help either of them soon... thus getting him out of the doghouse.

The clue that Audrey gave Jack panned out. CTU has the place locked down and is awaiting Chang. Jack pleads with Nadia to let him go with the team because he's, everyone say it with him, "the best chance CTU has at stopping Chang." Nadia throws the fact that Jack disobeyed a Presidential order and that's why the component was stolen (again, not really... Evil Veep hadn't been sworn in at the time and Brother Palmer's order still stood). Jack curses at Nadia and says he want revenge on Chang, but she won't budge. She warns him to not try and escape or she'll have him put in restraints. Um, why isn't he in restraints anyway? Nadia was handcuffed when everyone thought her to be the mole, but not him. He needs to remain un-cuffed for some reason. Jack thinks maybe he can help from CTU... YOU'RE UNDER ARREST IDIOT, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ANYONE.

Suddenly, Chloe is seen back at her desk – guess it wasn't too necessary to point out that she was missing for a few minutes last week. Morris has spotted Chang's hummer with some weird x-ray type satellite and the new CTU-counselor Milo (who's hair is all disheveled now) asks Chloe if everything is okay. She says yeah, but he's not convinced. Morris butts in and explains the situation and tells Morris to stay out. Still, nobody cares.

Nadia briefs Silver Spoon's team about their mission and sums up how insanely dumb this entire season has been:

Russia will attack the US if CTU fails to recover the component. Think about that, if CTU fails to recover an out-dated Russian security component that can compromise their nation's security – the SAME component that the Russians stick into nuclear warheads that will ultimately detonate, thus destroying said component – Russia will attack the United States. This is the Counter Terrorism Unit, not some special ops group. If it's that important to recover, or destroy, the chip, why not send in every single military force you've got? Better yet, bomb the building that Chang is in. Case closed.

Silver Spoon tells Nadia that she's doing well and she exhibits a little Stockholm Syndrome by telling him to be careful. The ever-present not-doing-shit Milo sees her being nice to Silver Spoon and is discouraged.

Brother Graem's survivors are still at CTU. Josh is up watching the news and Marilyn is still looking fresh and hot for Jack. Josh goes all teen angst on the world and Marilyn does a great job of consoling him. Chloe walks up outside of their room with a transcript of her statement for review. Chloe tells Marilyn that Audrey is still alive and instead of asking who the hell Audrey is, Marilyn looks surprised... maybe because she really has no idea who Audrey is.

Chloe figures it would be okay to take Marilyn to see Jack – who's in holding since he's arrested. Jack explains to Marilyn the whole situation with Audrey and Heller. Marilyn then tells Jack that she and Josh are leaving in the morning (not now) and that she wants to bring Josh by. She also tells him that she'll be there for him after everything is over. Get off his nuts already.

Silver Spoon's men storm the building that Chang is in... but, oh no, it's the wrong one! Instead they find an aresenal of weapons. Silver Spoon calls in to Chloe and asks for Nadia. He tells her about all the weapons they found. Apparently, it's enough for a small army.

Meanwhile, in another building, The Attack Team (TAT) says goodbye to Chang and Computer Dude as they enter the sewer en route to their destination – CTU! Who saw THAT coming? A few minutes later, TAT shows up right underneath CTU – because sewers will lead anyone right underneath government agencies. They set charges and Computer Dude hacks in to CTU's security system to shut it down (this would be the second time that CTU's security was comprimised in 10 hours).

Milo updates Nadia about Bloomfield and then asks about Silver Spoon. Milo tells her that if there's something going on between her and Silver Spoon, it's okay. Wait, no it's not, because she'd be kinda slutty if there was. Nadia kissed you not six hours ago man, don't be a puss. Nadia doesn't know what she feels, it's been kinda a long day. Then Chloe tells Nadia that she found something on the satellite's back-logs – a nice angled computer animation that couldn't be from a satellite.

TAT's explosions detonate as CTU's security is compromised. Morris notices the system not responding correctly and suggests that it could be a hiccup in the server, but he can't figure out what's going on. Chloe figures out that Chang and his men went somewhere that was six blocks away from CTU. Then it hits Nadia, CTU is under attack and she orders a Code Red lockdown.

Morris still can't figure out how to get the system back online as TAT makes its way through CTU shooting people. Jack hears all the commotion and convinces the security guard to let him out. As Jack gets a gun and scores some kills, TAT demands to know who is in command. Milo steps up to protect Nadia. To bad for him, he gets shot dead – guess that means he can now go on to his new show next season. But more importantly, wow would they NOT know who was in command? If Computer Dude hacked into CTU's system, they'd know who was running the place.

Marilyn and Josh are found by the attack team, apparently they want Josh. Jack saves them and they start to leave CTU. They head down to the room where the syntox was released last season. Jack sends Josh up the ventilation shaft. TAT traps Jack and Marilyn and take them into custody.

Silver Spoon calls in and a member of TAT thinks they need to respond. The leader of TAT demands that Nadia stand up and confronts her about her actually being the ranking officer – then wonders why didn't he look at the roster earlier. He makes her talk with Silver Spoon, who berates her about taking too long and after they end their conversation. Then Silver Spoon suspects that something is up since Nadia is suddenly not all nice to him anymore.

Jack and Marilyn are brought down to the control room. TAT's leader talks to Josh over the loud speaker and says he'll shoot his mom if he doesn't show himself. Awww, he decides to save his mom and turns himself in.

BUT GET THIS... Daddy Bauer is behind all of the madness! He's fixing the circuit board in exchange for his grandson and plans to get into CTU. That double-crossing sonofa!

Oh, and then there's this stuff going on at the White House
Hornball is woken up by a phone call. Thirty minutes ago he was all excited and spry about getting laid and being a spy... now he's dead asleep? Invasion Chick calls to trick him into sending more intelligence to the Russians. She makes plan to go back home to have more sex and Fish explains how she's going to leave her pda around for Hornball to swipe. She says that she doesn't think she can do this and that she can't be with him again. Evil Veep chuckles.

For some reason, Fish goes with Invasion Chick to her apartment. Since they're making a big deal out of this, it's obviously going to go wrong. Invasion Chick heads inside and Fish calls in to Evil Veep to keep him briefed. She heads up to the door and Hornball surprises her by opening it for her... he's already suspicious, because she's tense. Hornball wants to "loosen her up," sicko. She says that she's going to freshen up first, but Hornball calls her bluff... he totally wants her. They do it.

Reader Comment
Got this comment from Jonk regarding this week's episode:

Just watching this week's hour....
Has anybody here played "24: The Game"? They are now stealing from the game. Literally plot point by plot point.

In case you haven't played it: CTU is attacked by some goons (including an Asian guy), a CTU computer geek is shot in the head in front of everybody, and Kim must stay away from the baddies by hiding in the air vents. Also, come to think of it.... like the video game, Jack picked up a better weapon every time he came across a dead body.

Wow. The writers are now stealing from the video game? Then how is it that this season was such a challenge to write? This it pitiful and ridiculous and HARDLY what an "Emmy award-winning" show does.

Thank God there is only three hours remaining, I don't think I can put up with many more "twists." However, I actually can't wait to see what the writers have in store that will make the entire series shift in a different direction. Oi vey.

Episode 21 Predictions/Running Commentary

2007-05-06T15:38:00.001-07:00

There are four more hours in this awful day. Thank goodness it's not daylight savings, I couldn't handle an extra hour. So what extremely "plausible" thing(s) will happen in episode 21? And, if you'd like, feel free to post comments here during the episode for me to include in my recap.

LA Times: Is '24' running out of time?

2007-05-01T08:53:00.001-07:00

Like I've said over and over again, 24 isn't doing so well. It's sick and has been for the entire season (I'd even argue that it was sick the last two seasons, as well), but after Salon's rant about the show and now the LA Times article, hopefully America will realize that 24 is a has-been. The article is called "Is '24' running out of time?," and it talks about how the fans are tired of the re-used plot points, how 24's ratings are dipping and the median age of viewers has increased.

Interesting. So you're saying that as more and more older people watch 24, the show becomes dumber, we're allowed to re-use plot lines and focus on torture? I'll tell you what, I don't think that's the best way to follow up your Emmy-winning season.

But what might be more telling is this quote from Executive Producer/Writer, Howard Gordon:

"I don't dispute it's been a challenging season to write for us. But it's reinvigorated our determination to reinvent the show. This year could be seen to be the last iteration of it in its current state."

How exactly was it challenging to write the show? Did FOX come in with a list of requirements?

Three pointless love triangles
Presidential assassination attempt
Nuclear bomb explosion on US soil
25th Amendment
Endless chain of enemys
Introduce 7 characters that fall off the face of the Earth after a few episodes
Recovering alcholic
Mole in CTU
Jack has to bite someone to death
Whatever else sounds implausible

Please. And don't try telling us that there's a twist coming up for the finale which will change everything. No one's buying it, and apparently, 1/3 less of your viewers from the first episodes are watching it. Have fun doing all of your writing and tinkering, but you're not half as clever as you think you are.

But if you really want some ideas on how we can get back to the root of the show and make season 7 better, then please, take some of my suggestions.

24 Season 6: Episode 20 Recap(Hour 1:00 a.m. - 2:00 a.m.)

2007-04-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Let's see... where did we leave off. Oh yeah. Chang got away and Jack's been arrested. Audrey's mind is f'ed and the horny Evil Veep doesn't want anything to do with Brother Palmer's initiatives – if you can call them such a thing. Karen and Bill are having a lovers' quarrel and there are a few other things that no one cares about.

Running CTU 101
Nadia hits the ground running by being a mega bitch and giving orders to everyone. Morris comes in to talk about his request and Nadia denies the transfer (didn't see that coming) because they're in the middle of an international crisis – which isn't another government agency's job, if you were wondering.

Silver Spoon calls in and tells Nadia that Audrey is all sorts of screwed up. Nadia orders him to bring her back to CTU so one of their specialists can take a look at her. Silver Spoon tells Nadia what Jack's plan was and then tells the audience again that Jack is a hero because he was going to sacrifice himself to get Audrey released (thanks for beating it over our heads). Jack's plan would've worked, too, if it weren't for that pesky dog and those meddling kids if he wouldn't have messed it up. Nadia said that Jack went against a direct order from the White House – need I remind everyone that he really didn't since Brother Palmer okay'd the task at hand. The only directive that wasn't followed was Silver Spoon's, and that was to arrest and detain Jack.

Karen calls Nadia to tell her that the Russians know about the missing component. Audrey hasn't said anything yet, but that might be because The Shrink (Dr. Bradley) just showed up. Karen then emphasizes that it's super important that they catch Chang – you know, the thing that they were already trying to do. Karen says that if Nadia needs more resources, to ask. Nadia responds by saying they need Bill. Burn.

The Shrink meets with Nadia and acts all dick-like because he's on a "time-crunch," I guess because he has so many other patients to see at 1:20 am. The Shrink starts talking to Audrey and notices some weird spots on her arms. Meanwhile, Silver Spoon puts Jack in a holding cell as Jack begs him to take care of Audrey.

The Shrink continues his overview and Nadia interrupts him to introduce Silver Spoon. She explains that they're getting pressure from the White House to find Chang and that they need information from Audrey – which means that Jack will have to end up talking to her. The Shrink says that she's a type 3 catatonic that's capable of following simple commands and repeating words and basic phrases. Basically that means there's not much he can do unless there's an intervention, which is a fancy way of saying he wants to inject her with more drugs. The Shrink insists that this is the only way they're going to get information out of her... but wait, resident shrink Silver Spoon says that Jack can get through to her. The Shrink says that talking to Jack would likely upset her and when it's all said and done, it's not Nadia's call, district has put Audrey in his care. Silver Spoon gets pissed and tells Nadia to stop him and teaches her Running CTU Lesson #1:

Sometimes you gotta do whatever it takes... to break the rules.

Silver Spoon tells Jack that it doesn't look good and then releases Jack so he can go to Audrey. But first Jack has to make it look like Silver Spoon was attacked – never mind the cameras that are in every room. Jack uses the sleeper move on Silver Spoon and then knocks the rent-a-cop out. He grabs a gun and then makes his way into Audrey's room to choke The Shrink. Audrey leaves with Jack as The Shrink pulls the fire alarm.

Nadia rushes to Morris' computer and they pull up the video feed... sure enough, Audrey's gone. Nadia orders for everything to be looked down and Milo gives her Running CTU Lesson #2:

If only you had let Jack do what he wanted, none of this would've happened.

Morris confirms that Jack is still in the building. Nadia notices that Chloe is missing (but never follows up on it) and asks Silver Spoon, who is already back awake and on his feet, what the hell is going on. She practically nails it on the head as to what went down and Silver Spoon says he did what was necessary for the operation and for Audrey. Morris finds Jack in the lower levels and Nadia sends every one down there... except the Entry Team.

Jack gets into a room and then sabotages the door – luckily he doesn't have flashbacks as to this possibly being the room where his wife died. He sits Audrey down and tries to reason with her by reciting her life story. Nadia makes it down to the room but can't get in because it's jammed and learns Running CTU Lesson #3:

Always have the Entry Team ready.

Jack tells Audrey that he wants Chang to pay for what they've done to her and it looks like she starts to remember. He says all the right things, including a crash-course in getting over being tortured, and that's when Audrey grabs his nasty acid hand... we call that a breakthrough. Then the Entry Team busts in and Audrey finally says something. The Shrink is pessimistic, but Nadia takes note of all she learned that day and takes a chance to do things Jack's way. She sends Audrey back upstairs to the medical wing and Jack goes back into holding.

As the White House Turns
Karen briefs Evil Veep on the progress of finding Chang. Apparently, CTU is dedicating all of its resources to find them. Neither of them is hopeful that Chang will be found before he gets out of the country and it's near certain that Russia's defenses are doomed – ALL BECAUSE OF THIS OUT-DATED COMPONENT OF A NUCLEAR BOMB. Evil Veep then shows compasion about Karen's firing of Bill and tries to bury the hatchet by telling Karen that he values her work.

Invasion Chick goes home and is acting all suspicious-like. Then out of nowhere, she starts making out with Hornball (Bishop). Uh-oh! Again, out of nowhere, it appears that Invasion Chick is playing Evil Veep! She has her own hidden agenda

Evil Veep, Karen and Fish meet with Russian President Suvarov and he busts their balls about the component being stolen. Fish suggests that there MUST be a spy and is going to launch an immediate investigation into the staff. The situation is really serious and Evil Veep says to give CTU everything they need to find Chang... little does he know that they've already dedicated all of their resources to find him. For an government agency that complains about being shorthanded all the time, they sure do have a lot of resources at their disposal, I think.

Invasion Chick tells Hornball that she's going to shower to wash off their 5 minute sex romp. While she does that, Hornball swipes her PDA and downloads everything off of it in 2 seconds. He then calls Foreign Dude in Car (FDC) to tell him he's all done and that Invasion Chick has no clue. GASP! Another hidden agenda!?! Ten minutes later, Invasion Chick is all cleaned up and takes a call from Evil Veep – he's disgruntled (read: horny) and wants her to get back soon. Hornball wants to know what's going on and calls FDC to find out his next move.

Fish comes in and tells Evil Veep that he's identified the leak. Someone on the staff called Hornball a few times over the past two hours and this guy has possible ties to Russian Intelligence in the past... but the investigation was stopped due to a lack of resources. Fish says it's Invasion Chick. Evil Veep is dumbfounded and tells Fish that he's sleeping with her. Fish is speechless and then offers a potential back-stabbing ploy.

Invasion Chick shows back up, so Fish leaves and lets Evil Veep confront her about knowing Hornball. He then plays a taped message (from ten minutes earlier) from Hornball calling a known Russian intelligence agent (FDC). He's all pissed about her lying to him and he says that even if she didn't know she was helping, it's still treason... which the writers now want you to think, "oooo, that's ironic since you were trying to commit it earlier!" But don't fall for it. It's a cheap gimmick. Evil Veep tells her that she is to go back to Hornball and tell him that they've retreived the component.

Aw Hell-er!
You heard it here first, Heller is back and sitting with Audrey. He then tells Nadia that he wants to see Jack. Heller goes in and tells Jack to never go near Audrey again. It's all Jack's fault that she's a vegetable and Heller keeps telling Jack to stay away from her because he's cursed. Duh.

Miscellaneous Crap

Did anyone wonder about the two helicopters just sitting there at the beginning of the episode? Last week weren't they needing helicopters to chase Chang? If there were two right there, then why not continue the chase? Oh, because they want you to think that the ONLY lead is Audrey's swiss cheese brain.
Speaking of Chang, we only see him once this week hauling ass in a hummer. He starts to upload the contents of the nuke component to a computer, but there's a problem – the circuit board is damaged and can't be fixed without a security override. Now they have to find someone with expertise. Which basically means, don't worry about us this episode, we'll be back soon enough.
Morris and Chloe meet up in the hall and he tells her that he asked for a transfer. Chloe gets all upset and Morris tells her it's over and they're done. Good thing they're worrying about this and NOT catching Chang. Unfortunately, this won't be the end of that story line.

Wow, that was the lousiest cliffhanger I've ever seen. How would you ever follow that up? How about uncovering yet another terrorist activity – this time by the Chinese. Oh, and we finally figure out where Graem's wife went... does anyone remember her? You do? Do you still care? You do? Then I can't help you.

Episode 20 Predictions/Running Commentary

2007-04-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

With only 4 episodes to go (as Fox says), does anyone have any thoughts about what will be ludacris tonight? Also, if you want to post comments about episode 20 for me to include in my recap, do it here.

24 Season 6: Five Hours To Go

2007-04-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

Okay gang, here we are. We're nearly done with this horrendous season and only have five more hours to go. We know just how ridiculous this season has been, after what some say was a strong start (I disagree, but whatever). I want to know what you think will happen before they close out the season. Here are some thoughts:

We never really get closure on the Denver story. And if we do, it's pretty lame. Say, where did that blackmailing agent ever disappear to anyway?
Chloe and Morris hook back up and get wasted on the job.
Nadia turns out to be the mole after all. No one cares. Then she and Milo break up.
Defense Secretary (or former Defense Secretary) Heller shows up for an episode, or two – if someone's full name is mentioned on the show, they usually show up.
Audrey calls everyone Jack and then goes berzerk when they offer her chinese food to eat.
Jack bites Chang to death. Then, soon after, collapses from exhaustion, finally.
Evil Veep and Invasion Chick have a baby in the next three hours, name it Brother Palmer for all the crap he's gone through.
Bill and Karen go through couples' counseling and we finally figure out why Brother Palmer hired Karen after she was such a Grizzly Logan loyalist.
Since he couldn't turn Jack, Daddy Palmer finally gets Kim involved. They come up with a plan for Kim to date/marry an even bigger idiot than from last season. Jack goes haywire, bites Kim to death and collapses from exhaustion.
Graem's wife and kid are still somewhere inside CTU, having been forgotten.
Fox fires all of its writers, claiming "we can write this shit ourselves... and have been. Emmys be damned!"

Let's hear your thoughts.

24 Season 6: Episode 19 Recap(Hour 12:00 a.m. - 1:00 a.m.)

2007-04-23T20:22:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Jack is rogue again! Evil Veep is in power again! We're being led down paths that we don't care about, again. But that doesn't stop the writers, does it? Nooooooo.

24 4, The Search for Jack
Silver Spoon starts us off by flagging down one of many cars driving around at midnight (on the day of a nuclear explosion). He tells the driver that he's a federal agent in persuit and he needs the vehicle. The driver asks, "where's your badge?" Silver Spoon responds by throwing him to the ground and forgets to say, "it's on the ground, right over there."

Silver Spoon calls in and gets Milo – Jack must be the only person that can call exactly who he wants to at CTU. He tells Bill that he screwed up. Luckily, the tracking device is still inside the chip – which explains why it inserted in the first place, to track Jack whenever he turned on the US. Well, Bill tells Silver Spoon to hurry because Jack will disengage the tracking device the first chance he gets... or not, since he's had five minutes to do so already. Bill tells everyone that Jack has gone rogue and that all available resources should help Silver Spoon. Hopefully Morris is done assisting the military transfer of the nukes, otherwise he'll be too busy to help. Bill then tells Chloe that she needs to help again.

Jack pulls over underneath an un-guarded electric line tower to disrupt the tracking signal. It works. Morris has Chloe keeping an eye on things while he goes to explain it to Bill. Milo questions Jack's motives and even though he wasn't around 20 months ago to see the ending of Jack and Audrey's relationship, he just knows that Jack won't let her die. So he says he'll go check the satellites – you know, just in case they restored any coverage in that area. Who is "they?" Isn't CTU in control of the satellites?

Jack contacts Chang and tells him they're going to do it his way. You see, CTU is looking for him and he knows the way around CTU's satellite configuration (which apparently hasn't changed in 20 months). He sets up a meeting at an abandoned motel (which is also still around 20 months later). Chang and his men go on the move.

Silver Spoon finds where Jack turned off and Bill reminds viewers that if the Chinese get a hold of the component, they'll have an international incident on their hands. Silver Spoon then becomes a master tracker and figures out that Jack has gone East. CTU doesn't have satellite coverage because the radiation from fallout has made this particular area hard to cover. Silver Spoon discerns that he's on the highway that has no cameras so he suggests that CTU check the cell towers to see if Jack has made a phone call to Chang... oh, and he also saw Jack pick up a phone from "one of the terrorists at the warehouse, so that should narrow it down."

Chloe gets the order from Nadia to check all the phone calls from some cell tower. In order for her to do that, she has to send stuff to Morris' computer and interrupt his work. Curious, she can PUT anything his computer that she wants, but can't get anything FROM his computer? Then she and Morris argue, because we're all so interested in their story line. Then Milo, who obviously doesn't have shit to do, offers to help Chloe. Which prompts the original love triangle to come back up. In an act of lame anger, Chloe tells Morris that he shouldn't arm nukes for terrorists. She's right, you know. But he gets all sad and walks off... probably to go drink and vomit some more.

Jack shows up at the abandoned motel to rig up the C4. Just then, Nadia calls Silver Spoon and tells him they found the phone call and they're decrypting it now – but It's taking forever because they used a double-length key to slow them down.. Jack calls CTU, and what do you know, he gets right through to Bill's line. He leaves a message that soon Audrey will be safe and the circuit board will be blown to pieces.

Morris goes to see Bill, who is in his office NOT checking voice mail, and requests a transfer. Bill says he'll help out. But after talking to Karen, and getting fired, Bill tells Nadia that he's stepping down and now she's acting director – yes, the gal that was considered a mole and was born in the Middle East. Nadia is upset. The last bit of advice Bill gives her is to inform everyone before it's posted on the internal forums – because everyone has so much spare time to check message boards while hunting down terrorists.

Nadia informs CTU that Bill has stepped down and that she's in charge until a replacement can be sent over. No one is too sure about that. If anything, I'd say they're foreshadowing that she really IS the mole we all thought she was. Then, suddenly, everyone is in the meeting room with their computers waiting to talk with Silver Spoon – he's found Jack's truck and he's going to search around. Nadia suggests they use thermal imaging. But I'm confused how they'll do that, since the satellites in that area are having trouble due to radiation from the fallout.

Chang gets out of a big ol' stretch limo – not quite the car to divert attention from you on a day like this – and goes into the motel. He exchanges words with Jack and then Audrey gets out of the car. Jack removes the gag from her mouth and sends Audrey walking down the road to safety.

Jack tosses the chip to Chang. Silver Spoon, who's hiding in the bushes, gets anxious and shoots the sniper. Then Jack gets shot. Silver Spoon's backup finally shows up and Chang escapes out the back of the motel in the three Hummers that both Jack and Silver Spoon somehow overlooked. A helicopter begins to chase but instantly gets shot down.

Jack gets up, again, not shot and shoots the rest of the chinese guards who are still standing in the motel for whatever reason. Nadia's pissed and orders Jack to be arrested after the smoke clears. Jack tries to put the blame on Silver Spoon and then spots Audrey... but she doesn't even know who Jack is! OH NO!!!

The Young and the White House
The press secretary makes a statement that Evil Veep will make a statement at 9:00 am Eastern time (6:00 am Pacific, which... well wouldn't you know it, is when the season will end). Evil Veep confronts Fish about his evidence. Fish tells him that Brother Palmer was forcing the resignation and now Fish supports Evil Veep. They make the decision to keep Karen around.

Karen tells Evil Veep that CTU is trying everything they can to find Jack. Evil Veep isn't having it since "CTU let him steal the component." Wait... no they didn't. Brother Palmer said it was okay. Fish suggests that other agencies join the search – but no one asks where were these other agencies earlier in the day. Invasion Chick stays around after Fish and Karen leave, and we're treated to another lame love plot.

Karen gets a call, 10 feet from her office, that Peter Hawke (from the Department of Justice) is in there waiting for her... at 3:20 am. He's been interrogating Fish's Chief of Staff, PMRL (Poor Man's Rob Lowe). PMRL is looking at being executed, so he's offering up anything and everything he knows. Hawje shows her a bit of information that concerns Bill – that he had Fayed in custody, let him go and Karen helped him cover it up – she blue-coated the file (which I can't find anything on google as being a real term). Unfortunately, this is the reason that Karen was going to quit 12 hours earlier. Now, it's resurfacing and someone is going to have to take the fall – the further from the President, the better. Meaning, she has to fire Bill.

Karen calls Bill and says they need to talk, but he doesn't have time. Karen tells Fish about Hawke's suggestion that she fire Bill. Fish agrees that Bill has to go. She has to choose who she's loyal to. Bill calls her back. She tells him about Hawke and informs him that she'll have to fire him. Bill gets upset and hangs up on her.

Reader Bryan H. points out:
So right now Karen Hayes is firing her husband. I've never heard that the National Security Adviser has the power to hire and fire the heads of intelligence agencies, but that's a minor point here. The bigger question is this: what kind of pussies are in this palmer administration? Can you imagine anyone in an actual presidential administration volunteering to fire people before the public even knows about the "scandal"? Hell, the Bush administration fires people long after the scandal breaks, if at all.

Here we are with five hours to go. Audrey is nuts. Bill and Karen are on the rocks. Nadia is pissed. Evil Veep is about to get lucky. And Jack is going back to CTU where he'll have to escape from to eventually find Chang. Since Chang shot down a CTU chopper, I'd say everything the military has is out to get him... but don't hold your breath.

Episode 19 Predictions/Running Commentary

2007-04-23T08:25:00.000-07:00

Anyone have any guesses of what will truly be outrageous tonight? Also, if you want to post comments about episode 19 for me to include in my recap, do it here.

Salon.com Disses 24 Season Six

2007-04-17T13:43:00.000-07:00

I keep on preaching it, gang, but 24 isn't on an upward trend. The show is becoming stupider and stupider as we go along. Coming to the foray this time is Salon.com with their article entitled, "The Longest Day Ever."

Jack bags the bad guys and the bombs early, leaving a few extra hours to sacrifice national security for his lady love. Quick, somebody turn back the clock!

I couldn't agree more. I just hope the writers are taking note.

24 Season 6: Episode 18 Recap(Hour 11:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m.)

2007-04-16T20:08:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

I completely failed you last week when I failed to mention how laughable it was that Chang tells Jack to call him back in 10 minutes and to NOT try to find out their location. Wouldn't CTU already be screening calls going on that day -- the day of a nuclear attack? And if they weren't screening all calls, surely they're screening calls going through CTU. In addition, whenever Jack calls into CTU, he gets a different person (Bill or Chloe come to mind), wouldn't they know what Audrey sounded like? Sheesh. Well, this week featured WAY too much crap to put into one episode. Someone mentioned that an episode from this season would equal four episodes from the first season. They're right and the show suffers from trying to do too much.

Jack Turns On His Country?
Jack gets a shot from the medic to help him get through the pain, isn't anyone concerned that he was once a junkie? No? Guess not, since Silver Spoon gives Jack a nice heartfelt talk. Jack doesn't care and goes to call Chang in an alleyway. Chang wants the suitcase nukes in exchange for Audrey. Why the nukes? See, there's a component in the the trigger mechanism that contains a prototype algorithm old enough to be free of any modern decryption safe codes... with it, the Chinese could have access to virtually all Russian defense technology (which explains why Russia is so far behind in technology). Chang doesn't realize that he has Audrey, so he can call the shots. He doesn't have to tell Jack WHY he wants the missiles.

For those of you wondering why the military has suddenly taken over the transfer of the missiles, it's to create an un-needed plot line.

Then, the suddenly over-enunciating Chloe gets a call on her cell phone from Jack -- he needs her help. He explains the situation, but she's scared because they both know it'll create an "international situation, big-time." She agrees to help, but she can't get the schematics that Jack's looking for because they were re-classified once he disassembled one of the nukes. But... Morris might have the revised schematic on his computer. A loophole is discovered -- unlike in seasons past, Chloe can only access it directly from his machine.

Once she finds it, Jack wants her to send it to the cell phone he's calling from (I'm surprised they didn't use the same damn number again), using the secure line Alpha-5-3-9 (which, I'm pretty sure was the same code used to disarm the fake missile last week -- but I didn't include it in my review, can anyone confirm?). Chloe finds the schematic lightening fast, with one hand even, and starts sending it to the phone that Jack called her on... and by the phone Jack called her on, they mean the thing he's holding in his hand and NOT the one he's talking to her on. But the file doesn't get sent right away, no no no, it has to load first... which must confuse Jack since sending data has NEVER taken this lone before. Oh, but wait, Jack DOES get it on the phone that he was talking on... uh, so what was he looking at? The acid skin on his hand?

Morris knows that someone has "hacked" his system. You see, since everyone thought that Nadia was the mole, Morris took extra time to install a tracking program on his machine to alert him of any un-authorized access. [Curious, wouldn't the password that Chloe entered give her authorized access?] Chloe tells Morris why she "hacked" his system. Chloe knows that the technology won't get to the Chinese because Jack gave her his word -- on the Black Market, Jack's word is worth about $10,000,000. Morris threatens to tell Bill, but Chloe caves and does it herself.

Jack snoops around the warehouse and lies to the TWO guards manning the cage where the nukes are. The TWO guards fall for the trick and let him in. Suddenly, Silver Spoon busts in, stops Jack and then looks longingly at the computer chip (who thinks the Denver story-line is about to conveniently resurface?).

Poor Jack, we see him all cuffed up for the second time in less than 24 hours -- shouldn't he be having flashbacks? Bill talks to Jack on the phone and Jack utters the over-used line that "this is our only chance" to get Audrey back. To which Bill tops him by borrowing one of Jack's favorite lines, "I promise I'll do everything in my power to get her back." Jack somehow convinces Bill to let him talk to Brother Palmer.

Jack explains the situation to Brother Palmer. Since we now entered the half-hour point of the show, the writers had to explain what giving the circuit board to the Chinese means -- Brother Palmer tells Jack that he knows the circuit board holds the key to Russian Defense codes. Brother Palmer hears Jack's whole plan of trusting Jack to destroy the circuit when Audrey is released. Brother Palmer needs details, so Jack says he'll destroy it with some c-4 -- which Brother Palmer (who, starting today, is an explosive expert) says it'll take out anything within 30 feet of it. Oh diss! Jack will again sacrifice himself if he must! Brother Palmer owes Jack for turning him over earlier in the day, so Brother Palmer agrees.

Silver Spoon, who is now super pissy towards Jack, reluctantly un-cuffs him. Jack explains his plan -- once Audrey is safe, he'll destroy the circuit board and kill Chang. While Jack is assembling the C4 in the car (that's safe), Silver Spoon gets the desist call from Bill, who asks where they are (since CTU just can't figure out how to use satellites consistently today). Jack gets suspicious and he throws his bag into the back seat of the truck and pulls his gun on Silver Spoon -- good thing the C4 didn't go off! They pull over and Jack kicks Silver Spoon out of the car. Awww, but the circuit is still being tracked.

Brother Palmer vs. Evil Veep, Round 2
Fish, after three hours, finally tells Brother Palmer what he is holding over Evil Veep. Then Karen bursts in the door to tell them the good news about CTU recovering the remaining nukes (I think an action like hers, especially on a day where the President nearly got bombed to death, would bring about a huge gang tackle from secret service). Brother Palmer is so excited that he wants to address the nation -- at 2:00 AM Eastern time -- and they'll do it from the Oval Office!

Once back in the Oval Office (some 4 minutes later), an extremely fit looking Brother Palmer gets all mushy about seeing a pic of OG Palmer. Then Evil Veep comes in and they have a candid talk about why they were running mates. Then, Brother Palmer asks for Evil Veep's resignation. Evil Veep declines to resign and then Brother Palmer blackmails him with Fish's evidence. But he doesn't need the resignation today, which is good, because it'll give Evil Veep time to steal the evidence from Fish's possession.

While Evil Veep ponders his resignation, Invasion Chick shows up. She's surprised upon hearing the news of his up-coming resignation. She's sad, but at least they'll have more time to spend with one another -- ewwwwww. Evil Veep signs the paper and they go to watch Brother Palmer speak to the press -- who are all dressed up and look very nice for being up at 2:45AM Eastern time.

Uh oh, Brother Palmer calls a reporter by the wrong name. Sonofa, then he slips up again! By now, everyone doesn't care that he's been nearly bombed to death and that it's been a stressful day -- he's supposed to be superhuman. Then, Brother Palmer does his best Max Headroom impersonation and drops to the floor.

As we suspected, The Doc was right -- Brother Palmer shouldn't have been working so hard... he's suffered a cerebral hemorrhage. Evil Veep takes over, again, and wants Fish to help him issue a press release and go over the President's agenda -- which should be pretty clear since they've spent the past 18 hours searching for nuclear weapons. But, Invasion Chick finds something that needs the immediate attention (no worry as to why she was in the Oval Office), it's Jack's master plan.

This pisses Evil Veep off big-time and he tells Fish and Karen to inform CTU that they will stop the mission -- even though he's not officially the President yet.

Thought this week was too jam-packed and silly? Just wait until next week when the writers use another old story line... Jack Bauer goes rogue! Again.

24 Season 6: Episode 17 Recap(Hour 10:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.)

2007-04-09T21:03:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Oh brother. We leave off last week where Gredenko died, Fayed was caught and Brother Palmer shot the nuke. Just when we were all asking what the hell was going on, this week brings us quite a few closures... and a glimpse of someone we wished were really dead.

Dr. Jekyll, Brother Palmer
Brother Palmer has shot the nuke. I repeat, he has shot the nuke. No one knows what's going on! But we do, he's addicted to adrenaline and adrenaline makes him crazy. Fish says they can't shoot nukes at Fayed's country -- WHERE THE HELL IS FAYED FROM!?! Brother Palmer calls the Ambassador of ______ and tells him he better give him more information or ______ will go up in flames. And what do you know, new information is given!

There's a General Mohmar Habib (yes, like Habib Marwan, just reversed and slightly different) that's been in connection with Fayed -- unfortunately, NO ONE AT CTU caught that, you'd think that on a day that a nuclear weapon has gone off, they'd be monitoring all communication coming from the Middle East... especially from _______. Since new information was given, Brother Palmer calls off the strike. Fish says he'll send in a crew to retrieve it, but Brother Palmer says it's not necessary since it was a decoy missile! D'oh! Good one! You fooled everyone on your staff... for NO REASON.

During a heart-to-heart with Fish, Brother Palmer looks constipated and his hand starts to shake. The Ambassador of _______ shows up to speak with Karen, Fish and Brother Palmer. He says that Habib isn't responding to the interrogation, so Brother Palmer suggests they threaten to kill his family -- which, for some reason, is just absurd to everyone in the room. Well, the ______'s government complies and they get Habib to cooperate. Afterwards, the Ambassador of ______ is ushered out quickly as Brother Palmer crumples to the floor.

Doc is rushed to Brother Palmer's side and finds out his blood pressure has dropped. Doc suggests that they get him to medical, but Brother Palmer won't go. He's addicted to adrenaline and wants another shot. Doc denies the request and tries to quit, but Brother Palmer won't have it. Fish tells Doc that his decision is final. Um, the President just crumpled to the floor... don't worry about telling anyone. To supplement his adrenaline addiction, Brother Palmer tells Fish to get a hold of CTU, he wants to know what happened while he was laying on the floor like a baby.

Fayed vs. Jack, to the death!
Meanwhile, Jack is punching a suddenly-stoned Fayed. They exchange words and Jack punches him in the balls, nice! Jack knows it's not working and Silver Spoon wants to take a shot. While Jack talks to Bill about the new Habib info -- Silver Spoon tries to coerce Fayed by saying if the bombs go off now, Fayed won't be the jihad hero. And if you all didn't understand what he was trying to do, Fayed explains it for us all by asking, "do you honestly believe you can manipulate me by playing on my vanity?"

Jack tells Silver Spoon they're going to transfer Fayed back to CTU, because the only way they can break him is with a "pharmaceutical package." While en route back to CTU, their vehicle is ambushed. Silver Spoon gets shot! THEN JACK! Man, the bad guys suddenly got really good at shooting. Then Fayed escapes! Oooooh, psyche! It was another bluff -- that's TWO this episode.

Before Fayed takes his new friends to the nukes, he wants to talk to Habib. It'll be hard to do, but Bill's gotta make this work, because Jack believes this is THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GOING TO FIND THE BOMBS. Bill calls Brother Palmer to sort it out. Fish suggests that maybe they should use more conventional methods, but Palmer says that if Jack says it's a dead end, then by God, it's a dead end. Fayed and crew pull into an un-manned garage. Habib calls and Fayed talks to him. Fayed seems convinced and they leave.

Meanwhile, at CTU, after a tif with Milo, Nadia studies the transcripts and thinks that Habib has warned Fayed secretly. Jack commandeers Silver Spoon's phone (since his has gone missing all of a sudden), and calls Jamal to warn him. Then, in the technology blunder of the whole season, both Jamal's cell phone AND video feed go out -- because the car entered a tunnel. Jack doesn't understand and asks how big the tunnel is -- apparently he just doesn't want to look up, because he IS right behind them.

Jack and Silver Spoon find the truck RIGHT in the middle of the tunnel. All passengers have been shot, including the driver -- luckily he came to a nice complete stop and didn't wreck as to not hurt anyone. Jack notices a door open in the tunnel and decides to persue alone, again. He spots Fayed stealing a cell phone from some rando worker in the tunnels. Lucky for Fayed, THIS cell phone works in the tunnels. Jack, for whatever reason, hugs the undercarriage of the garbage truck that Fayed drives off in.

Fayed arrives and his men are just walking around casually with their guns. He tells them to load up the bombs, because they're going to take out downtown LA. Say, on a day when a nuclear bomb has already gone off, there won't be any security downtown, right? Jack trips a baddie and breaks his neck. He then infiltrates the warehouse, again, alone. He kills every baddie and has a brutal to-the-death fight with Fayed. This was truly the most superb moment of the season.

Just as Jack is reveling in his kill, Silver Spoon rushes in, they somehow tracked him by satellite. The bombs are secure -- even though only one of the suitcases is open -- and everything is great!

Return of the Living Dead, 2
Jack hobbles up and gets a phone call that's been patched through CTU's swtichboard. You're NOT going to believe this, it was Audrey! But, wasn't she dead!?! No way, I'm stunned. In a stupid cliff-hanger, Jack is told to call back in 10 minutes to the SAME STUPID PHONE NUMBER THEY'VE USED ALL SEASON. Seriously, stop/

And there you have it. We've clearly gone off the tracks again and are changing gears. Seven more episodes, that's PLENTY of time to start at least three more lame plots.

5 Ways to Make 24 (Season 7) Better

2007-04-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

I've been running this site for almost two years now, and critiquing 24 for even longer. Complaining and ridiculing is an easy thing to do, but often isn't helpful -- not that Fox, or the writing staff, is paying attention. From what I've learned in the past, anyone can complain. Anyone can bitch. But it's so much more helpful to come up with a solution for a perceived problem. This Easter morning, I began to explore what could resurrect 24 from, what I see, becoming a failing franchise.

Something that's resonated with me lately is the new upcoming Die Hard movie. Does anyone else see the resemblance between Jack Bauer and John McClane like I do? They're both law enforcement. They both take on terrorists of all walks. Their families are estranged. And they're both solitary heroes -- they have help, but it's usually all them.

See the resemblances? I sure do and I think the creators of 24 may have based some of Jack on McClane -- it's not a big stretch. But why not go farther? I think that by copying a page from the Die Hard book, we can start our list of how 24 can be fixed.

1. Happenstance
In the Die Hard films, McClane has never been the person to seek out the baddies -- he just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think 24 needs to do the same. To borrow an idea from a reader, what if Jack (being a full-time citizen now) decides to retire from his job and find peace with himself. He moves to a small town in Montana, or Alaska -- a place where no one knows who he is, or cares -- and starts his life over. A place where nothing happens, life just exists. Think the town and mountains in Misery. Think of the setting in First Blood.

As Jack is in town getting some supplies for his cabin, he comes across some people that don't belong in town. It's nobody he knows from his CTU days, but these guys aren't wearing the right clothes, or driving the right kind of car. His instincts want to kick in, but Jack dismisses them and tries to go about his business.

During his fickleness, Jack forgets something at the store. When he gets back into town, something has gone wrong which tells Jack his instincts were right.

2. Little, to no, help from anyone in power
In this scenario, Jack is "off the grid," completely. Seriously. He's somewhere in the mountains where cell phones only work 10% of the time -- and that's on clear days. But it's cold and winter now, almost blizzard-like conditions. He can't get through to CTU, and even if he did, it would take them far too long to get any help there. Plus, there's no one at CTU that knows him anymore, Jack is the stuff of legends that disappeared.

Additionally, there are no Palmers in power. There's no one in the government that cares about Jack Bauer -- he was seen as a rogue agent that played by his own rules. Rules that not only produced results, but rules that got people killed. Again, even if there was someone who could help, Jack has no way of getting a hold of them. No favors can be called in.

The only help Jack has is from the local authorities -- police that have never had to fire their gun and are more used to writing parking tickets than tracking killers. Remember, no one knows about Jack's history, it's not likely they'll believe his crazy story or trust him.

3. No gadgets
With Jack no longer being employed by CTU, and his strong desire to get lost in the world, he has no need for his gadgets or technology. He has no PDA. No special cell phone to contact the outside world. No huge cache of weapons to choose from. And like I mentioned before, the weather conditions are bleak, so even the baddies can't use a lot of technology -- they're using walkie talkies to stay in touch and everything they need is pre-programmed (be it a missile or what-not).

Jack has nothing but maybe some basics -- knife, rifle, 4-wheel drive vehicle. Imagine him a beefed up and killer MacGuyver. To upgrade his stuff, he has to take it from the baddies, or enlist the trust of the police.

4. Time is unimportant
For way too long, the writers have been dependent on telling the viewers what's going to happen at what time. Whether it does, or not, we know that something important will happen in EACH episode. There's really no need for that -- especially in a small mountain town that is seemingly unimportant to the United States. Baddies won't tell each other that they plan on doing something in 45 minutes, because it won't matter. Jack won't drive from one end to LA to the other in 10 minutes, because it won't matter. This isn't a Die Another Day version of 24, it's a Casino Royale version. Things happen and people respond.

5. Cast of few
When comparing the cast photo of season one (minus Mandy) to that of season six, it's no wonder we're thrown so many useless and worthless sub plots. Seriously, it's always better to have fewer, more developed characters to deal with. Viewers can associate with them more.

In this scenario, there doesn't need to be many on cast. Jack, Baddie Boss, Baddie #2, Police Person, Concerned Citizen A and B. We can have sprinkles of others here and there (Milo, season one), but we don't concentrate on anyone with an alcohol-addiction for two episodes and then onto something else. We don't need 5-7 different bad guys as we move up the chain. Keep the cast smaller, make them all interesting.

I honestly see these suggestions as some that could really help 24 get back to the style of show that we love. Things have become way too big in 24-land. It's time to step back and see what made the show work. It wasn't CTU. It wasn't conspiracy theories. It was Jack vs. the world in a way that seems viable and true. We can't race around the world in 24 hours, but we can traverse a small town and stop an evil plot to destroy a valuable something that no one knows about.

Take it or leave it, Fox. Happy Easter.

24 Season 6: Episode 16 Recap(Hour 9:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.)

2007-04-04T20:37:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Last week we saw the miraculous recovery of Brother Palmer. By what I've been reading across the internet, apparently that got a lot of people actually starting to question 24. It took a near-dead President hopping out of a coma to do that? Come on... 24 has been bad all season, it's just that no-one wants to admit that an Emmy-winning program could be this bad. Sadly, it is.

Brother Palmer, Strong Like Bull
We start off recapping what happened last week. Once second Brother Palmer was sucking wind in a doctor-induced coma. The next, he was barking orders into a cell phone while talking to a submarine -- great reception from the bunker and half-way around the world, eh? Anyway, Brother Palmer can't look weak, so that means no wheelchair. Instead, how about a shot of adrenaline? Careful, that'll raise your blood pressure.

Brother Palmer strolls into, what I think would be, the situation room looking all suave and well-manicured. You know what everyone was thinking, "wasn't he just in a coma?" Yes, he was, but he's Brother Palmer, dude's a pimp. Evil Veep isn't impressed, though, so he invokes the 25th Amendment and tries to replace him -- which puts the onus on the President's cabinet to decide.

The Palmer family is strong and united, which is the only reason why I can think that Sister Palmer is STILL in the bunker AND inside the situation room. Then it's voting time. Karen votes for Brother Palmer. WAIT, since when is the National Security Advisor on the cabinet? Oh, who cares. Evil Veep says that Karen's vote doesn't matter and implores the Attorney General to wake up all the old people on the Supreme Court at 12:20 am.

Karen is distraught, so she calls Bill and tells him that she could be the one that costs Brother Palmer the Presidency. He calms her down and says the Supreme Court will rule in favor of Brother Palmer -- which is weird since Karen never told Bill it was going to the Supreme Court for a decision. Oh, who cares. Meanwhile, Sister Palmer is hard at work on the case... since, uh, the President's normal staff of lawyers are no where to be found on a day like this... especially when the 25th Amendment has been invoked.

Invasion Chick tells Evil Veep that she'll commit a felony to help him win. Then Fish breaks in and shows Evil Veep how resourceful he is by uncovering the bug he planted in the room. Where did he get that and when did he plant it? Oh, who cares. So Evil Veep gets mad and withdrawals his appeal by calling the Supreme Court... does anyone know what their number is?

Sister Palmer tells Brother the news and he celebrates by ordering another adrenaline shot. Then he turns into this weird heavy-breathing maniac and launches the submarine missile without any of his cabinet in the room.

Nadia and Milo, Young Love
Remember when Nadia and Milo kissed last week? Remember when you didn't care? Yeah, me too, good times. This week, just 15 minutes later, they're still trying to figure out HOW they're going to make it through the rest of the day without ripping each other's clothes off. It must be hard to concentrate on FINDING ROGUE NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

Silver Spoon calls Nadia to his office and blackmails her into getting something off of Milo's computer -- proving that he screwed up, which allowed the terrorists to hack into CTU (super secure facility, btw). If she doesn't comply, he'll call security and they'll just go through the computer and haul him off -- which wouldn't be good, because Silver Spoon REALLY wants to find the nukes and Milo can help.

Nadia tricks Milo into fixing her computer while she finds the security hole in seven seconds flat... say, remember back in the other seasons of 24 when Chloe could do almost anything from her computer, even when it was accessing someone else's computer? Man, those were the days. Then Silver Spoon breaks protocol and alters the logs in two seconds -- since the password didn't change. Milo's off the hook! Hooray!

The Odd (Terrorist) Couple
Fayed and Gredenko are allies... that hate each other. But they need each other, so it's a love-hate thing. Gredenko has the information that can help Fayed harm half of California -- would that be the location of the San Andreas fault? They're going to blow California in two!?! Oh, no, sorry.

Last week Gredenko was caught and this week he's going to help Jack get Fayed. Ryan (who?) outfit Gredenko with an extremely old school, and easily removed, audio transmitter and injects him with a traceable isotope. Ryan makes sure to completely foreshadow a re-used idea from Prison Break by explaining that the isotope is injected into the marrow and is traceable up to 15 miles.

Fayed wants to meet Gredenko in secret on some pier where no one is currently at. Gredenko finds a cleverly hidden cellphone when it rings and Morris tracks it lickity-split -- where was he with such skills earlier this season? Oh, who cares. Gredenko walks and finds Fayed, then stops. Jack gets suspicious and moves in alone. Why has Gredenko stopped moving? Because he cut off his arm, silly!

The odd couple then ducks into a pretty packed bar and start a bar fight. Fayed gets captured and Gredenko supposedly dies under the pier. I don't believe it, the writers wouldn't have shown us the missing arm if they were just going to kill him off.

So there you have it. Another dumb hour of 24. But we're officially 2/3rds done with the season. Can't wait to see Jack get shot, but still be okay, next week.

Episode 16 Recap Delayed

2007-04-02T05:13:00.001-07:00

Sorry gang. Only because of my love of college basketball, I probably won't be doing my recap tonight. I'll get it done as soon as I can, though. So keep checking or just subscribe to the site's RSS feed.

In the meantime, I came across an article on Zap2it.com that talked about how episodes of 24 are filmed. While that was the boring part, at the end of the article they talked about having to come up with a new threat for season seven.

With a seventh season looming, "24" will have to come up with a new threat facing the nation. In the past, there have been Middle Eastern extremists, Russian rebels, Mexican drug lords, angry Chinese (Jack did kill someone in their embassy) and individual bad folks of all sorts.

"We are absolutely evenly employing all the bad guys of all nations," Cassar says. "Some told me, because I'm Canadian, they said, 'Hey, why are you leaving us out? Why can't we be the bad guys?' I'm like, 'Good idea. Quebec separatists could be the terrorists.'

"I'd like to go after the Nazis, but they're not around."

What possible dumb enemies could they come up with?

Update...
Uh-oh! It looks like even the media is starting to catch on to 24's lousiness this year.

24 Season 6: Episode 15 Recap(Hour 8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.)

2007-03-26T20:45:00.001-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

If 24 didn't jump the shark in season two with the mountain lion, then I think the whole show just tied a rock to it's feet and then tried to jump a guppy. Seriously, this is the same show that won Emmys last season? Well, maybe they have a case, they just had a dude act autistic!!! Genius.

Definitely Wapner
In easily the absolute most cockamamie idea I've ever seen in a television show, this week we were introduced to Mike Hauser and his brother Rain Man (Brady Hauser). Mark was on CTU's watch list, and on a whim, Chloe remembered to check the list. Sure enough, he JUST made a call five minutes earlier to Gredenko. I'm not sure how they figured out that he was talking to Gredenko seeing that the call was scrambled. Maybe they have Gredenko's phone number on file. Sorry, I digress. Yes, Mark Hauser apparently had about 17 jobs in the past 7 years and doesn't live at the address that's on his driver's license – luckily, CTU's files were super up to date.

Jack and his team head to updated address and then Chloe sends Jack the picture of Mark Hauser super quick via Sprint's Picture Mail. They break in and Mark is shot and needs to go to the hospital, but Jack says no, and issues orders for Mark to be stabilized. Then Jack again shows how versatile of a human he is and becomes a counselor to Rain Man. Jack learns that Rain Man was getting files for Mark by getting through the IPC firewall to set up a proxy server port.

Mark is really hurt and HAS to go to the hospital. But before he does, he calls Gredenko and sets it up for him to meet Rain Man to get his information. I'm pretty sure the call wasn't scrambled, since Mark didn't enable the scrambler (see episode 10). Gredenko doesn't think it's weird that he's just going to meet an autistic kid in the middle of a neighborhood park, so why should we?

Here's the wrinkle in the plan, Rain Man needs Gredenko to get out of his car – I suppose CTU couldn't just surround the car. So Jack gives the unusually mild-tempered Rain Man an earpiece. Gredenko shows up and gets out of the car as planned. Then, after using Mark's magical jump drive that just automatically uploads whatever is on it to the computer that it's stuck inside of, CTU kills all of Gredenko's men and tranquilizes him. It wasn't a strong one, though, as he is awake and fully conscious within three minutes. Then he pulls a switcharoo on Fayed and says he'll sell him out.

</end stupidest story line ever>

Bunker Trouble
Evil Veep still wants to shoot a nuke at "Fayed's Country," but everyone thinks he's crazy... I mean, doesn't he know that he'll start World War 3!?! Anyway, Sister Palmer is staring at her comatose brother, when Karen comes up and risks National Security by telling her about Evil Veep's plans. Problem is, Brother Palmer needs to wake up and stop him. Luckily, Sister Palmer is willing to risk Brother Palmer's life and agrees to wake him up.

Meanwhile, we get some great dialogue... "The Victory will reach launch postion in ... 40 minutes," says the General dude. To which Evil Veep responds, "so in less than an hour we'll have made our point to the enemy." That's the writers reminding us that everything in 24 happens on one-hour time frames. Good thing, I had forgotten. Oh yeah, they're going to fire off a B-611 Short Range Tactical Warhead, if anyone is checking.

Evil Veep gives the order to launch the nukes. Fish argues that it's not a good idea. And just when you think that the missiles will be launched, Brother Palmer calls the submarine on his cell phone and stops the order – he's got them on speed dial. Who knew that would happen!?!

Nada Mas Para Nadia
Ooooo! Big break for Nadia! While Agent Smarty Pants (Kyle Johnson?) was stripping data from Missile Commander's hard drive, he found a remote access module – it's how Missile Commander was able to breach CTU's satellite grid. He got in through one of the radical web sites Nadia had been monitoring and the access module proves it...somehow. Just when you think Agent Smarty Pants is going to turn Silver Spoon in, he again brings up the fabled "Denver" incident... but they just keep refering to it as "Denver," you know, to peak your interest. When actually no one cares.

Then we learn that Agent Smarty Pants is wearing a turtle neck on a hot summer day in LA. Then he tells Milo that Silver Spoon is withholding evidence that proves Nadia's innocense. Milo, who doesn't need a sling anymore, attacks Silver Spoon. But Morris comes to his rescue saying Silver Spoon gave him the remote access module that breached Nadia's computer. Silver Spoon didn't report it because he got it from an un-reliable source (Agent Smarty Pants is unreliable?). Well, anyway, Morris ran a "verification scan" and it's definitely real and Nadia is definitely innocent. It then only took Bill four minutes to review the evidence that proves Nadia is innocent. And then he has the nerve to ask her to stay? Oh yeah, they're short-handed. And she agrees!

As a welcome back, the sling-less Milo gets all aggressive and forces his tongue down Nadia's throat. It was such a good kiss that Nadia was shell-shocked. And Chloe was sad.

Hopefully next week we'll learn why Gredenko is the only one who can give Fayed the targets he wants. But if you want a spoiler, it's because he is the only one with an atlas.

24 Season 6: Episode 14 Recap(Hour 7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.)

2007-03-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Wow-o-we-wow, what an action-packed episode. And by action-packed, I mean bs-packed. When we left last week, Grizzly Logan was crashing in the ambulance (since the helicopter was, uh, broken?) en route to the hospital. Did he recover? Did he die? No one cares, especially the writers, since he didn't show up in tonight's hour. And really, that's fine. But someone from Jack's past did show up.

The Audrey Files
Grimacing Jack has returned to CTU and while he's heading to the medical wing, he stops in to see Marilyn – who's been doing nothing but standing around for the past several hours. After she confirms that there WAS something between her and Jack way back in the day, she tries to get some... because nothing helps you get over a dead husband and a kidnapping father-in-law better than some Jack-smooching. Too bad Jack denies her. But it's heroic, because he did so out of love.

That's when Marilyn drops the bomb on Jack – Audrey's dead (which is why we never had confirmation of her coming back to the show during the off-season). She died trying to find Jack in China. How romantic. How sweet. How did Marilyn know?

Jack. Is. Pissed. So he runs over to interrupt Chloe and demands that she stops whatever she's doing to go get Audrey's file out of archive. Never you mind the nuclear-armed drone in the air, Jack, just glare at Bill and grimace as you head back to the medical wing. After pouring over her file, he just knows that she was killed and vows to make "them" pay.

You DO Know What an RQ-(d)2 is, Right?
This week the writers decided to use a real-life thing in the show, the RQ-2 aerial drone. In case just saying the name several times during the show wasn't enough, we are also relayed the following information:

Bill tells Evil Veep that the RQ-2 is an unmanned stealth aircraft that can be remotly piloted anywhere in the world.
When General Walsh talks about the drone, he mentions that it has a low-profile design which makes it hard to detect – some people refer to that as stealth. Say, how exactly did CTU find the stealthy drone on satellite?
Then Morris loses the drone (we know this because his satellite screen read "Satellite Streams Protocol - Searching All Vectors - Lost C"), only because CTU has been compromised (yes, another mole). And when Gredenko calls Missile Commander to find out how things are going, he is told that CTU's tracking capabilities had been disabled – which Gredenko clarified for us idiots, "they cannot track the drone." NO ONE CAN! IT'S STEALTH!

The 24 Convenience Store
24 has long been built on conveniences, but it's becoming like Prison Break in all of the "ironic twists" that pop up.

Sun sets fast on the sunset strip – Tonight we open the episode in near total darkness. Remember when just ten minutes ago, it was complete daylight outside? I sure do. Maybe the siege of the Russian Consulate took longer than we thought. But why was it important to be so dark? So that when the RQ-2 aerial drone is in flight, the only way to find it (aside from CTU just happening across it on satellite) is by eyesight... and that's really hard to do at night.
Karen needs help! – Now that Evil Veep is in power, Karen has decided to return to work so that she can take him, Fish and Invasion Chick until Brother Palmer can come in at the last second and save the day. That could be a while, though, since he's in a coma that was induced by the doctor. Karen really needs his help and asks the doctor to wake him up. Sadly, he cannot without consent from his family. Well what do you know, Sister Palmer is standing right there!
Missile Commander – If Morris isn't the best at everything, I don't know who is, but thank God he found out who was piloting the drone... and what do you know, he's just THREE BLOCKS AWAY FROM CTU! Hoooo-rah! The reason he was so close to CTU? So Jack and Silver Spoon could get there during a commercial break. Good thing that they didn't kill the Missile Commander, they'll need to torture him next week.

The 24 In-Convenience Store
24 also has it's fair share of things that they simply cannot do, only to draw out time and "add to the drama" of the story.

Chloe Determined – Even though Chloe has been interrupted so many times today, she figures out that there's a leak inside of CTU! It's from a workstation inside the office, but she can't isolate it -- because it's being masked through a sub-circuit. Morris is working on it, but there are over 50 workstations inside of CTU and it could take an hour to find it. Or... how about you go check every computer in the place -- you could walk by each of them in a total of 5 minutes.
Re-Boot Wackiness – Silver Spoon wants to check Nadia's computer, because she's totally muslim and Milo gets all up in arms. Apparently, it IS Nadia and the only way to shut down her workstation is to cut the power and re-boot CTU's mainframe. But if they do that, they'll be without system power for 20 minutes. Or... couldn't you just unplug her computer?

Kitchen Sink
Other fun/nonsensical things from tonight.

The silly Chloe-Milo-Morris love triangle just got dumber. Nadia is now in on the mix.
Evil Veep is the only voice of reason on this show. He, like everyone else should be doing, questions how on Earth can CTU lose a drone with the world's best satellites. Some of the writers MUST have a sense of humor.
Milo interrupts Chloe from setting up a reverse stattostream on the drone satellite intel and wants her to check on Morris' breath, so she kisses him. The only humor of the year... but why now?
Jack continues to amaze me. Tonight he takes out the pilot, tells CTU that the target is San Fran, figures out that it's set on a perimeter circuit... and then figures out how to fly the drone out of the perimeter. Then in another re-used story-line, he needs to find a place to land the drone, but needs 500 feet of runway. Good thing they found one so quickly in the industrial part of the city.

Next week promises to be even better... we have Evil Veep ready to nuke up the Middle East and Brother Palmer will be the second President in three weeks to crash. Will he die? Will Evil Veep kill all Muslims? Good thing it'll take one hour to position the submarine!

24 Season 6: Episodes 12 & 13 Recap(Hours 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.)

2007-03-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Well, I'm sorry about the delay in my recaps. In my time off, I've been reading everywhere that episode 12 was "the best episode of the season so far." The only thing I can say to that is, when the season has been pretty lackluster thus far, to call this one the best isn't saying much. However, when comparing the length of notes for episode 12 to previous episodes', I will say that I did a lot more watching than I did typing. Something about the episode WAS good. Sadly, I think it regressed in episode 13 and I don't anticipate it recapturing that temporary magic.

Grizzly Logan, Two Sides of the Coin
Grizzly's character this time around is much better than last season's. He's to the point, he's "enlightened," and he's got that beard. Unfortunately, he got tucked into a very unfortunate story-line. Apparently, like many other plot points in 24, "he's the only shot America has at locating the nukes."

In an odd turn of events, Grizzly was taken to CTU for questioning and NOT back to his 10,000 sq. foot house. Clearly, he's as confused as we are and asks Chloe why he's all alone in this room. She says that its standard procedure for those in house arrest -- or anyone that they bring into CTU for questioning. He then tells Bill that "Ms. Crazy (his ex-wife) is the only person who can talk the Russian President into doing something," and Bill buys it.

Uh-oh, she won't talk to him on the phone, so he has to take 24's newest teleportation device of choice, the helicopter, to her residence. That's when we see the gallant return of Aaron Pierce, who has a horrible sarcasm radar and has his pants pulled up WAY too far. Sadly, Ms. Crazy is a freakin' mess (she, and Morris, are both on the wagon), gets upset and shanks him. Now Grizzly's about to die, and no one cares. Thank God that plot line lasted only two hours.

More White House Wackiness
It's about time Evil Veep is brought in to run the show -- NO ONE saw that coming about 11 episodes ago. The weird thing is that he, and everyone else in the bunker (that happens to have a fully-staffed medical wing) thinks that Assad somehow smuggled in a bomb "high velocity explosive device" to kill Brother Palmer.

Meanwhile, in the super secret High Voltage room, Poor Man's Rob Lowe (PMRL) is explaining that they can't kill Fish because, "they're not murderers," and, "what we did was necessary for the sake of National Security." Um, didn't they just try to KILL THE PRESIDENT? Last time I checked, if you kill someone, you're a murderer.

Then, to show how a White House is truly ran, Evil Veep tells Invasion Chick that he wants to enact Fish's security plan. Too bad Fish has lost all his nerve and doesn't want to anymore. That doesn't dissuade Evil Veep, though, no, he blackmails Fish and then threatens to blow up the entire Middle East. Right on.

I will hand it to Evil Veep, though, he's had the best quote of the season so far. When talking to Bill about Grizzly's plan to have Ms. Crazy call the Russian President's wife (yes, that's the plot line), Evil Veep responds with, "that's about as likely as a terrorist knocking on my door and surrendering." Please tell me the writers were acknowledging how silly this all is.

Uh, Torture DOES Work
After Grizzly's conversation with Markov didn't work, Jack calls Chloe to have her turn off the power (CTU protocol break) and decides that he'll just walk in the back door of the Russian Consulate -- YES, as Grizzly points out, Jack is about to do the SAME THING he did 20 months ago and was taken to a Chinese prison for (in case we all forgot). And can we forget all the flack 24 has garnered recently for their excessive use of torture, because this time the torturing worked! All it took was cutting off a finger and Markov sang like a bird.

Then Jack became suddenly stupid and thinks he'll just walk out the doors that he knew Russian guards were standing outside of. Thanks to the use of their handy dandy Dell pda (product placement), the guards knew exactly when Jack was at the door and blew it up!

I know what you're thinking, if CTU knew Jack was going to the Russian Consulate on suspicion that Markov knew where Gredenko was, why aren't they monitoring phone calls? It turns out they are. It's just that diplomatic traffic is encrypted with an algorithm that CTU has never been able to crack. Morris is on the job, though, and he's found a way around that. ONE of the computers at the consulate isn't properly shielded and he's picked up a digital shadow of the messages before they're encrypted. D'oh! THAT'S how CTU knew that Jack was captured.

After being captured, Jack somehow convinces Turncoat Guard to call 24's favorite phone number, 310-597-3781. Yes, the same phone number that three different people have had this season. Turncoat Guard gets killed and no one wants to remember that someone from inside the Consulate tried to contact Bill. That's fine, because Jack somehow removes Turncoat's belt -- the wrong way, dodges bullets and switchblades and finds a room where two Russian Americans are about to do it despite all of the lock-down noise.

Jack scares them with his gun and asks how people make phone calls during a lock-down situation. Which begs the question how often do lock-downs occur. Actually, I'd like to ask a different question... why does it take a special phone from upstairs? Doesn't everyone have cell phones? Jack does and he's been in prison for 20 months, granted, he stole it.

Ricky Looks Old
We've been teased with it for several months now and it finally came to fruition -- Ricky Schroeder is finally on 24 as Silver Spoon (Mike Doyle), head of field ops. It took him all of two seconds to assert his assholedness, choke Morris and bring up hold history with Milo (because that's what we need, more strife inside the office). Lame.

There you have it, two more hours of 24. Finally we're on the back side of the season, but we still have 11 hours to go. Ugh. Next week could be extra swell as we try to explode a drone, launch nukes towards the Middle East and try to expose a mole inside of CTU (that's never been done before). Good thing Bill made the order to move all available satellites to Shadow Valley, since it'll take more than 15 minutes to reposition them.

Episode 12 Recap Delayed

2007-03-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

Hey loyalists, I'm going to have to delay this week's review a few days. I've watched nearly all of the episode and must say that this week's could have been the best and worst of the season. Powers Boothe rules as an actor and is easily the most believeable character the show has had in several seasons... unfortunately, this week featured a lot of "let me explain the plot to you while I ask you questions and/or make statements." I continue to argue that writing like this shouldn't be rewarded with Emmys. I'll be back with my recap as soon as you can say, "Assad must have smuggled in a bomb," without laughing.

24 Season 6: Episode 11 Recap(Hours 4:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.)

2007-02-26T20:23:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

We're back and it's nearly the end of a long work day for the residents of Los Angeles. Hopefully everyone doesn't leave work at the same time, that could really hamper driving around in LA. Not that Jack and CTU has ever had to deal with that, but, there's a first for everything. Speaking of firsts, we finally saw someone using the restroom in 24. Thanks writing staff, it's about time.

24's Obsession with Phones
Ever since day one and hearing that all-too-familiar CTU phone ring, 24 has had a strange obsession with phones. From video phones to having the ability to talk/hear on a cell phone while riding in a helicopter, the viewers are treated to, what must be, the best phones technology has to offer.

Last week, Jack was given a phone number to call from Daddy Bauer. That phone number was 310-597-3781 and Grizzly Adams Logan was on the receiving end. This week, Chloe called Morris' sponsor (who was listed in his treo as "AA Sponsor," and whose phone number hadn't changed in three years) and left a message to call her back. The number Chloe gave her? 310-597-3781. Is Chloe shacking up with Grizzly Logan? No, it's a real phone number that fans can call.

The sad thing, besides using the same damn number two weeks in a row with different people, is that the number has been used a number of times on the show. According to 24's Wikipedia entry, these are the places the phone number has been spotted:

Debbie's cell phone displays the number after she is killed in Day 4.
Jack Bauer gives the number during the recovery of the Air Force One "Football" where he told his cell phone number to two civilian campers.
In Day 5, it was shown in the 18th episode ("12:00 AM - 1:00 AM") as Martha Logan's cell phone number.
Spotted on the back of a picture of Edgar and Chloe during the season finale of the Day 5.
In Day 6, it was shown in the fourth episode ("9:00 AM - 10:00 AM") as a cell phone number on Assad's cell phone.
In the sixth episode of Day 6, an FBI agent gives the number as Chloe's direct line at CTU.
In Day 6, in episode 10 ("3:00 PM - 4:00 PM"), it is given as Charles Logan's cell phone number.

Are you kidding me? It's been used for three different people this season? Why not just get three different phone lines and give out different messages? Sigh.

Shhhh! Don't Ask What That Is!
I've complained several times of the writers trying to speak over the viewers with techno-babble garbage or just thinking that we won't question things. This week, they tried even harder.

There's one working land line at Gredenko's house and Morris is checking on the router to see if there was any recent activity. Unfortunately, the baddies were using inverters to stack their coils, and he just can't get any record out of it.
Morris then couldn't uplink the tracking vectors to the home land sub-net, they just won't go through. Stupid Morris, all he had to do was check his SIP adapter. He specified the wrong slot assignments. Duh!
For those of you keeping score, Morris is still the "lead on decoding diplomatic communications leaving the consolate." That's a resume builder.
What pipes was Fish trying to turn up? Were they steam pipes? No, wait, they must have been electricity pipes, seeing that they were in the High Voltage room. Right?

Formulas to Writing 24
Write your very own 24-style script with one of these tried-and-true formulas:

Never-ending Trail – Never reveal how to get the bad guy straight up. Instead, just insert another name in the trail. For example, just this week we learned that the key to finding Fayed was finding Gredenko. The key to finding Gredenko was finding Markov. The key to finding Markov is using Grizzly Logan. So-on, and so-on.
Replace Your Leader – Nothing creates conflict more than replacing the man in charge. Whether it's the head of CTU, a cabinet member, the guy with the nukes, or the President. If you can use dialogue to explain that you're trying to save your country by doing so, that's even better.
Always Leave a Loophole – If you need to expand the story, just make something up that sounds possible. Confused? How about an ex-President under house arrest, but the public doesn't know that he aided the assassination of a former President, or that he aided terrorists? Need more? Okay, maybe the same guy didn't turn in one key figure, in said assassination, because he had the foresight that in 20 months, he may need to leverage that knowledge. Perfect.

Random Complaints

Is anyone upset that Chloe isn't acting like her bitchy self this season?
Why on Earth is Marilyn and Josh just waiting out in broad daylight with no help around them? And why isn't Marilyn freaked out when she sees Jack? Wasn't he trading his life for Josh's just 10 minutes ago?
While waiting for Grizzly Logan, where in the hell did Jack get a suit to change into?
Bill needs Chloe to clear a corridor for Jack and Grizzly Logan to drive down. Why not just take the helicopter?
Did there really need to be a three digit code to set the bomb off?

Wow, one more week and we're half-way through the season. But next week it appears that Jack didn't learn any lessons from 20 months ago... he'll be back to breaking into foreign consulates and torturing people.

24 Season 6: Episode 10 Recap(Hours 3:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.)

2007-02-19T19:58:00.001-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Is everyone tired of torture? Lucky you, there wasn't any in this episode. But for those of you who are tired of family members being involved, well, sorry. No dice.

That's No Moon Field Agent
When last we saw Milo, he was driving like a bat out of hell in a faux FedEx van. Not only that, but he blew up the van with the crate of grenades that happened to be in there (standard issue for CTU vans, by the way). How exactly does Milo follow up such brilliance? If it's up to Poor Man's Ryan Reynolds (Daddy Bauer's man, Hacker), whatever Milo does is Busch League, because it's obvious that he wasn't trained as a field agent. Here's how we know that:

Field agents don't drive CTU vans backwards, through little league baseball fields, or over playground toys.
Field agents don't blow up their own vans.
Field agents don't stop and hide in a wide-open alley way.
Field agents don't make a noise behind a dumpster.
Field agents don't miss three gunmen standing side-by-side with every bullet in their clip.
Field agents don't get shot.

It's true. But since Milo didn't die (as we expected him to – you know, with him carting off to CBS, soon), he might as well get commended for his efforts...all this, of course, after he's de-briefed by Morris.

Morris Hates Wagons
Man alive is Morris having a bad day. So bad, one might be driven to drinking. Which, for Morris, is a no-no, since we JUST found out that he's a recovering alcoholic. Yes, that's right. Poor dude was drilled in his shoulder and may potentially be an aide to killing "millions" of more people, but that was nothing until Chloe slapped him, berated him, tried to kiss him and THEN (after he failed to finish the vectors) tells him to call the CTU Shrink and/or his sponsor. That, my friend, was a low blow. Then again, he didn't finish the vectors.

Yeah, rough day. When I have rough days, I take a walk, which is what Morris does. He strolls on over to the convenience store that's right next door to CTU (uh-huh, sure) and buys a whole smattering of placed products – Red Bull, Marlboros, whiskey and some Altoids. Though, I'm not sure how the Altoids will cover the stench of whiskey that he just drank and then barfed up (which, according to Chloe, is called "not metabolizing the alcohol"), seeing that he spilled some on his shirt. Sure enough, both Chloe and Milo smelled it on his breath – but it's cool, Chloe will break protocol and not tell Bill.

But back to the original thought, why would Morris be the one in charge of de-briefing Milo? Let's go over the potential reasons and you choose the right answer:

So Chloe can complain about CTU being under-staffed... again.
Because Morris is a good de-breifer.
To promote the unnecessary Chloe-Morris-Milo love triangle story.
So Milo would be the second person smelling the alcohol on Morris' shirt breath.
c and d

The answer is e. And, careful Morris, Chloe "will be watching you for the rest of your shift." Which, doing the math..., will be at least another 12 hours.

Fish Gets PWN3D
Meanwhile, in the Bunker's most private and secure meeting room – Danger. High Voltage. – PMRL (Poor Man's Rob Lowe) is still convincing Fish that killing Brother Palmer is the only way to make this work. And in order for this to happen, Fish MUST grant clearance to the security specialist from the private sector. Don't worry, this won't be tied back to Fish (the one guy who would grant the clearance), it will be pinned on Reformed Terrorist (Assad). Wait, how?

Just when we learn that Fish is really a good guy, he gets knocked the f--- out by PMRL and his (product placement) Maglite. Great, now how is that dude going to get through security clearance and kill Brother Palmer?

The Family
Jack, who, by the way, is still using the cell phone that isn't his (stolen in episode one), had another huge dose of family in this last hour. First off, once Marilyn was saved, he used his patented Audrey Choke Hold Slam on her to find out the truth. And, as we've found out so many times over in 24, the truth hurts. Daddy Bauer is evil.

No biggie, once he settles down, he calls Bill, orders a new vehicle with a full tactical kit (which is a lot of guns and a flak jacket) and then tells Bill he's basically going dark. Bill protests, rightfully so, but Jack pulls out the old "trust me," and hangs up. Then Jack gets assistance from the ever-so-helpful Poor Man's Ryan Reynolds and calls Daddy Bauer -- but makes sure to enable "scramble caller" before doing so (THIS must be why CTU can't decipher certain phone calls!).

After Marilyn talks to Daddy Bauer, Jack tells her that he'll do everything in his power to help save Josh – pop quiz, how many times has Jack said that this season? If you weren't sure, Jack says it again once they get to the hotel.

Finally we get to the Jack and Daddy Bauer showdown... which really turned into a five minute summary of the season so far -- for those of you who are behind. Daddy Bauer gives Jack the guilt trip of turing on The Family and then feints at shooting Jack, only to run off... like all true bad guys on 24. It's a good thing Jack went black and didn't have backup with him.

Fortunately for Jack, Daddy Bauer left a crackberry for him. And a phone number, to none other than ex-President Logan, who is all Grizzly Adams'd out. Great, maybe we can have more 50 year old, two minute sex, soon. If not, maybe Logan can tell us when text-messaging became standard op at CTU. Or how Jack instinctively knows that hotel phones have speaker phones built in.

No More Torture? Now What?

2007-02-15T20:53:00.000-08:00

There's been quite a bit of talk in the past week about people being all up in arms over 24's constant torturing. When you consider GM and VW pulling commercials depicting suicide and Snickers pulling a commercial because of homophobic tendencies, it's not surprising that someone has finally spoken up about the numerous tortures Jack Bauer has dished out. In response, 24 will cut back on torture scenes. Or is it NOT in response?

According to Howard Gordon, Executive Producer of 24: The decision to cut back on torture is driven by creativity, not criticism.

Creativity? Really? Because you ran out of ways to torture someone, you're going to cut back? How about a garbage bag? Maybe a drill? Oh wait, you've already done that. And it's a smart move to just cut back, because people LOVE torture scenes.

One question though, since torture was such an integral part of the show, how exactly will Jack get information out of his captives? Either the baddies are going to become weaker, or, GASP, maybe the show will become more intelligent. Bah.

Check this other little tidbit out...

The final eight to 10 episodes this season will include fewer torture scenes, Gordon says, adding that 16 of the 24 ordered segments have been shot.

There was supposed to be 24 torture scenes in the last 8-10 episodes? Are you kidding me? Writers, I beg you, write more intriguing television and stop relying on shock value.

24 Season 6: Episodes 8 and 9 Recap(Hours 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.)

2007-02-14T19:50:00.001-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

When we last left 24, Jack was starting to track MacCarthy and the just-kidnapped Morris and Daddy Bauer had just killed his evil son. Since this week's two-hour treat was for Valentine's Day, and Valentine's Day is all about getting lucky, I think that luck is the theme of these two hours. So speaking of luck...

Jack was lucky to materialize in a helicopter out of nowhere.
Chloe was lucky that once she started acting normally (since Morris was gone) hat Milo could take over for her.
CTU was lucky that even on yet another short-handed day, that with Morris gone and Chloe pouting, Milo can handle it.
CTU was lucky again that the satellite was working this time and providing real-time footage of MacCarthy and Hottie Girlfriend driving like a bat out of hell.
Speaking of MacCarthy, they were lucky they didn't crash due to the odd high numbers of drivers on a day where A NUKE WENT OFF!
Jack gets lucky in deducing MacCarthy stole a car since there was one missing in a parallel parking spot... under a bridge.
Which, in turn, MacCarthy was lucky to steal a vehicle with a GPS device to find where Fayed was.
The writers of 24 are lucky that most viewers will believe that Brother Palmer would invite Reformed Terrorist (Assad) into The Bunker.
Fish is lucky that PMRL (Poor Man's Rob Lowe, aka, Reed) has a plan to get rid of Brother Palmer, so he won't have to resign.
Jack was lucky enough to stumble upon MacCarthy's dead body, and was also lucky enough to find his phone. But then the luck ran out, the caller id was blocked – but lucky for him, CTU can decode the data once he uploads it.
Lucky for us, Fayed told us the following via Morris, "You work at CTU, so you know I have four nuclear suitcase bombs in my possession. You may also know that these bombs need to be reprogramed so I can use them. You are here to create the device to allow me to do so."
Unlucky for Morris, he didn't finish his quote with, "If you refuse, we'll cold cock you, hit you with baseball bats, pretend to drown you (and make a hell of a bloody ring around the tub that's not in the bathroom, but sitting caddy-corner in the living room) and then drill your shoulder."
Lucky for Milo that when he can't trace a call that's bounced around the US on several LAN lines, that a pulled-together Chloe can do it in 10 seconds.
Unlucky for Jack, he shows up at Fayed's apartment complex where there are still tons of people walking around the streets (ON A DAY WHERE A NUKE HAS GONE OFF). Also unlucky, the previously kick-ass satellites are now only giving updates every five minutes.
Lucky for Jack, the building is on the city's emergency services grid and Chloe, after passing the building's log in screen, can set off the fire alarm to flush people out. Also lucky, CTU can cross-reference heat signatures inside rooms with who's renting what apartment.
Lucky for Fayed, he knows that the nuke is armed when a message flashes on a computer screen that says, "device armed."
Lucky for Jack and his force, the nuke didn't explode when they blasted the doors open and shot several rounds of ammunition into the room.
Lucky for Fayed, he escaped down the ventilation shaft on a rope ladder, somehow got to a helicopter and flew out of range of the FAA's tracking abilities.
Unlucky for Jack, Fayed left the armed Nuke in the building.
Lucky for Jack, Chloe has the schematics on hand. Also, he knows how to detonate bombs AND there's a bomb tool kit nearby.
Lucky for the writers, there's no definition for ultranationalist – so they can define Gredenko's position however they want.
Lucky for Gredenko, even when CTU knew he had dealings with Brother and Daddy Bauer, they didn't bother to get all the information on him that they could.
Lucky for Daddy Bauer, he can walk around the porous CTU without an escort and has access to Graem's personal effects so he can delete stuff (why not just destroy the SIM card?).
Lucky for us, Veep (Noah, the Vice President) is a good villain.
Lucky for Fish and PMRL, they can walk around The Bunker (which is housing Reformed Terrorist) unnoticed and hold a meeting in the "Danger. High Voltage." room.
Lucky for Daddy Bauer, CTU is pretty modern in design and has glass walls and doors – so he can see what's going on everywhere.
Lucky for Jack, Marilyn followed Graem to some Russian's house in the last few months.
Lucky for Chloe, for some reason Bill sent Milo into the field with Jack, thus giving her an excuse to pull the "we're shorthanded, Morris, so come back and help me (and have my baby)" routine.
Lucky for Jack that Kim never knew he had an affair 20 years ago with Marilyn.
Lucky for Jack that he studied the schematics of the house before he went in – since he knew where to jump when he discovered there was a bomb inside.
Lucky for Marilyn that Milo was the only CTU agent left when the house exploded... she's gonna need a ride.

So that's how the Valentine's treat went down in 24 land. I can honestly say that I didn't see MacCarthy's offing coming, so that was fun to see. But we had quite a bit of plot narrating tonight, and that's just lame. Stay tuned for next week when Jack learns that Daddy Bauer is really the man behind all of this. Ooooooh!

Clarification Points

2007-02-14T07:02:00.000-08:00

In the few years that this blog has existed, it's started to garner more and more attention. Most of that, however, is negative – mainly in the form of hate mail or hate comments. It's sad that people have to resort to name-calling and belittling because I post my opinion.

Anyway, I thought now would be a good time to make some clarifications about why I run this blog. To the dismay of many that write in, I have never once stated that I hate 24. Never. It would be pointless (as many point out) to spend as much time on the show, as I do, if I hated it. I could go on and say that big fans of 24 coming to a site that's called "Why 24 Sucks" and leaving lude comments is pot-calling the kettle black. But I digress.

As I've said in the past, I've watched 24 since minute one on day one. The show is exciting and fun. Rather, I think it was more so in Season One. Since then, with more and more people watching each year, I think the show has began to slide down the slippery slope of jumping the shark. I really think with more viewers comes this notion of having to dumb 24 down – we're being told the plot, we're not really experiencing it.

The acting, while a touch better this season than in seasons past, has never been that great. The writing, while exciting, is more popcorn movie than it is thought-provoking. Enough, I say, with the attempts to sound intelligent with all the techno-jargon. Write compelling story lines and I'll be happier.

So do I think that 24 is based in reality? No, not 100% reality. But if we're talking about our country and attempts to stifle terrorism, then I think it needs to be a bit more realistic.

I'd really like to see a season of 24 take place somewhere other than LA, or the US. Imagine an entire season of Jack breaking out of the Chinese prison, wouldn't that be fun?

I've never said that I hate the show. I don't. But I want it to be better, I know it can be better. Enjoy the rest of the season.

When Writers Fail

2007-02-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

Since I'm a few days away from reviewing the "Valentine's Day Treat" (which is two hours of 24), I found this little fun thing on YouTube. Please enjoy Kiefer's improv.

24 Season 6: Episode 7 Recap(Hours 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m.)

2007-02-05T19:46:00.001-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

After such an un-eventful episode six, it appears that the writers were storing whatever juicy chunks in their chipmunk cheeks for episode seven. Just when you thought Jack was going to die, again, for the 17th time in six years, we enter tonight’s episode.

The Happy Bauer Family
I thought David and Sherry Palmer had a messed up family – then last year’s first family took the cake. Now that we’ve met Daddy Bauer and Graem, I think the Bauer’s are easily the most messed up family ever. First Jack couldn’t save his wife. Then he ostracized his daughter (practically shoving her into the arms of a nerd, who ironically looks like Assad). Now that he’s been reunited with his dad and brother, all hell breaks loose.

How many times have we seen Jack almost die... only to escape? And where exactly did he shoot the dude trying to kill his father? There was maybe 10% of the assailant’s body showing and Jack shot him twice... with both hands handcuffed... and the other assailant’s gun... which was still being held by said assailant. There’s no denying Jack is good, but THAT good?

And what’s up with Marilyn? First off she’s not surprised that Graem is a total creep and had something to do with the nuke. Then, she’s overly adamant about Jack NOT involving Josh in this. Last time I checked, Josh was totally creeped out by Jack’s acid hands. Even though Jack said his favorite quote of season six, "I’ll do everything I can to protect him," that still wasn’t enough for her. Man alive, the sexual tension is hiz-igh.

Then it was time to interrogate Graem, which Jack told Daddy he’d do whatever it took to get the truth. Luckily for Jack, nothing has changed in the dreaded silver suitcase over the past 20 months. After pumping Graem with tons of chemicals, and giving him the perfect chance to be all vampire like Jack, Graem dropped a nuke-sized information bomb on Jack -- he gave the order to kill Palmer, Tony AND Michelle. That son of a bitch! Jack totally wanted to kill Graem then, but all it took was a glare from Daddy Bauer to deter that. Sigh, maybe next time, Jack.

And as if we didn’t see it coming, Daddy Bauer is... wait for it... still involved in the plot to keep America safe! Then, taking advantage of the fact that Graem hadn’t been taken out of the chair and off of the IV and since there was some interrogation sauce still laying around, he killed Graem... biiiiiiig shocker. I think it’s a shame, Graem’s character was good when pitted against Jack. One other thing, in case it wasn’t beaten into your head -- how crazy is it that Jack is super golden boy and his dad/brother aren’t? So ironic, eh? Eh???

The CTU Zoo
While Chloe was all up in arms about Jack not answering his phone for four minutes (and assuming the worst), NSA was "able" to trace a phone call from Fayed to McCarthy – CTU should really get their wire-tapping software checked out, seeing as its been spotty all day. It took Miles no time to confirm that it was McCarthy’s voice, all he had to do was compare it against McCarthy’s voicemail message... which probably goes something like this, "Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail Darren McCarthy, bomb-dealer extroidinaire. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message about which country you’d like to bomb, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can."

When listening to the message, Morris somehow stumbled across a photo that was in the data-stream. The data-stream? Oooookay, sure, why not? According to Bill, "recovering this image may be the only way of stopping those nukes." Unfortunately, it’ll take Morris 10 minutes to write a salvage utility to have a "new code."

Then, as an homage to Edgar and Season 4, Morris is informed that his brother has been hurt. Which sucks, because now Morris wants to leave. But Milo and Chloe can’t let him, because he’s the best they’ve got and they NEED to decode that photo (which, according to Bill, is "badly corrupted," but, according to Milo, is "highly encrypted"). So Chloe does a quick math problem and tells Morris that if they don’t find the other four nukes, then that’s about 1,000,000 dead people. Someone help me out. The first bomb killed 12,000. What’s 12,000 x 4?

So Morris can’t leave, because it’ll take Chloe half an hour to finish what Morris started. That’s no good, because McCarthy promised the new engineer within the hour, and if Morris left now, that would put Chloe finishing the program right around the same time. Lucky for CTU, Morris said it would only take him 10 minutes to do that (see two paragraphs above). Well, he must have hit a snag somewhere, because it took an extra 22 minutes to get it done.

Here’s the kicker... Morris is the new engineer! Ha! Quick on his feet, Bill informs Chloe to set up a satellite perimeter radius of five miles centered on CTU. Little does he know that it easily takes 10+ minutes to do that (see episodes 1-4 for shady satellite response time).

Hail the Chief
Down in the bunker, we learn of more odd White House politics. Apparently, all that’s required to enact a new National Security Measure is one signature from the President and a meeting of his cabinet. Forget the Senate and Congress, they’re so lame. Speaking of cabinet, can anyone tell me why all of the 24 Presidents have evil Vice Presidents?

That’s not too big of an issue for me, though, because Evil Veep (Noah, played by Powers Booth) will hopefully come in and mop the floor with Brother Palmer. And while he’s at it, maybe he’ll mop the rest of the bunker with Sister Palmer and The Spy (Walid).

All in all, I thought this was one of the better paced episodes of the season. And I’m actually thinking that the acting is much better this year. Still not Emmy-warranting, but better. Hang on for next week’s "Valentine’s treat," we’re getting 8 CCs of 24 shoved into our veins... and it’s gonna burn.

Milo is Gonna Die? Maybe?

2007-02-05T13:15:00.001-08:00

The latest news from Zap2It.com reports (WARNING: Spoiler Alert):

Start the Milo DeathWatch on "24," because Eric Balfour has signed on for a lead role in the CBS pilot "Protect and Serve."
Read the full article.

That blows, Milo was a cool part of the first season and is one of the better parts of the current season. It must be some kind of testament that he's considered strong enough to be a lead role. So how will he die? Will Chloe glare him to death? Will Nadia become the terrorist that she really wants to be and kill him? Or will Jack go crazy from hunger and eat everyone?

That could make for some goo-oo-ood TV.

24 Season 6: Episode 6 Recap(Hours 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.)

2007-02-04T11:17:00.001-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

It's now around lunch time in LA, but no one is hungry since a nuke has recently gone off. Or they shouldn't be. They should be more concerned with finding the other four nukes that are still out there. Our hero, Jack, never loses sight of that... he'll go through great depths to ensure that, too.

Brotherly Love
We've finally figured out that it's Graem Bauer (pronounced Graham, not Gray, even though Jack still calls him that). Shoosh, that was confusing. Well after being suffocated for around 7 minutes, we learn that there is... wait for it... another bad guy (Darren McCarthy). So here's what happened... McCarthy was hired to handle the nukes and supposedly sold them to Fayed. And just as Jack beat it into our heads, don't we all wonder why Daddy and Graem didn't call the authorities? Well they thought they could do it faster, since they assumed they would just happen to run into McCarthy at his office. Riiiiiight.

THEY'RE NUCLEAR WEAPONS!!! McCarthy won't be at his office. McCarthy won't have stuff on his computer. Call the authorities and be done with it.

After storming the office and finding zero information (shocker #1), Graem turns back into Bluetooth Man and betrays Jack and Daddy (shocker #2). Then it's shown that the two unnamed back-up CTU field agents were killed (shocker #3). And if all that wasn't enough, Jack has once again been detained as a captive (hello super over-used plot twist).

If it's any consolation, Graem is a good baddie – fans loved to hate him on ER.

How Government Works
After fight number 52 between Fish and Karen, I think we've finally been told how things get done in Washington... do it my way or I pull skeletons out of your closet. Classy. Couldn't Karen just tell Brother Palmer that she's being blackmailed? I think that's kinda illegal, right? Ah well, she'll be heading back to CTU, thank God.

Speaking of CTU
It's a good thing that Karen will be coming back. Not only do we know that they're low on man-power, but now with the new internal security mandate, "anyone identified with a middle eastern background is required to put a redundancy layer on all their logins." Which, according to Bill, means that Nadia has to work twice as hard to get through all of the security measures... what does that mean? Does she have to enter her user name and password twice? Does she have to do each task two times? Why not just replace her with someone NOT from the middle east? Nah, that's too easy. Just let Miles break protocol (and the law) and log her in with his user name and password.

We didn't see a lot of Fayed in this episode, maybe the creators of 24 didn't know how to find him. Luckily, CTU does... apparently, to run away from the GIANT NUKE CLOUD, people will need to have technology in the "on" position (you know, to monitor fall out). Then all CTU will have to do is use radio frequency satellites to see what they can come up with. Sadly, in one hour, they couldn't find anything. Which is weird, since Fayed used his cell phone again... yes, the same cell phone that they were able to track earlier this season.

The Walid that Shagged Sister Palmer
The writers of 24 are good at coming up with silly story lines (see Kim vs. the mountain lion), and the idea of having Walid as a spy is right up there. But in this episode, Walid takes it up a notch... he swipes a cell phone that was somehow smuggled into the detention camp. Yes, smuggled – I love how incompetent our government and military is made to appear.

After he got the phone all he had to do was call CTU. If you at home would like to call, just dial 310.597.3781. But be forewarned... if you call that number and then hit the star button twice, then CTU can access all of your phone's records. Yes, even the cache of your phone's web browser. Be careful.

It turns out that Walid has been a spy for nothing. These captured "informants" have been getting their information from a web site... that wasn't public... but wasn't password-protected because these pages come and go... but a LOT of people know about them (maybe they're subscribed to some RSS feed). Doesn't the government scour the web for stuff like that?

Overall, it was a very uneventful episode. But next week we get to see Jack re-escape, again, and finally we get to see Powers Boothe come into the picture. He's great on Deadwood, hopefully that translates to 24. Ha!

Episode Review Delayed...

2007-01-29T19:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry gang. I'm out of town and not keeping up with the lame-ness this week. Check back over the weekend and I'll have the "review" posted. Hope it was a good episode. Give me some tips/pointers here, maybe I'll site my source.

24 Season 6: Episode 5 Recap(Hours 10:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m.)

2007-01-22T21:10:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

He'd been missing for 20 months. A 20 month span that included starving, silence, torture and hair-growing. Then he was thrust back into duty and not too long after, he bit someone to death. Then, he joined forces with a former terrorist and found out he forgot how to interrogate people. Eventually, he had to shoot one of his most trusted agents. That's when he hit rock bottom and gave up... and then the nuclear bomb went off. But did anyone really think that Jack would quit after four episodes? If only!

The State of the President
Like I mentioned before, Baby Palmer is not a believable President, nor is his staff competent (but that's no surprise). It took more than five minutes to move him into the bunker (which is really called the Presidential Emergency Operations Center), but now he's safe. In addition, the Continuity of Operations Plan was enacted (which is a real thing) and Karen somehow gets cell phone service (which is good) so she can make booty calls to Bill.

Meanwhile, Admiral John (who thinks that all terrorist countries are lying) tells the President, "if these people want to live in the stone age, I say let's put them there." To which Baby Palmer should have replied, "they had nukes in the stone age!?!" Then we find out that Baby Palmer wants Assad (the terrorist who saw the light) to come to DC. So I say we play a game... let's pretend a mean ol' terrorist named Osama bin Laden sent men to crash into the twin towers. And let's pretend that bin Laden's former leader wanted to stop being a terrorist and make peace with the US on the exact same day. Do you think the President would allow that man to come to the White House?

There Was This Nuke Thing Outside
As we were informed with "previously on 24," there was a nuclear explosion in Los Angeles. Here's how CTU responds:

Bill asks about the ground team that was sent in and says, "Milo, can you get a visual?" ... ... ... Uh, Bill... look at ANY television network -- a NUCLEAR BOMB just exploded... there's your damn visual.
Then Bill needs to know if Fayed was in the blast radius (you know, the one where no less than 12,000 people died). Tell me how Morris is going to figure that out. That could take a while.
Chloe asks the rhetorical question, "why do people I know keep dying?" Duh, it's because you work with Jack Bauer.
Then Chloe tells Morris that they have "massive packet loss." What to do? We all know the answer -- "boot up routers."
"Morris just put something on your B window." Uh, Chloe, he's got one screen. I bet he calls it "A."
One might wonder how CTU is still a part of this operation... How is the military NOT taking over? Maybe the country is still lambasting over the last military occupancy of Los Angeles... due to syntox nerve gas.

Fickle Fayed
I don't know why Fayed was trying to coerce that dude int-----Watch out Fayed!!! Don't hit the girl that was running across the street! Yeah, the one that stopped in the middle of it (instead of hauling ass to get out of the way)! And while I'm warning you, make sure you don't hit any of these families that are home at 10:15 AM... with their kids who aren't in school... and all of their bags packed... ready to flee a city where a nuclear weapon exploded not ten minutes ago-----sorry, why coerce a dude with money when you could just threaten his life?

Speaking of, so Fayed talks on the phone with the guy that sold him the nukes. Okay. How long before CTU traces that call and figures out who he is? No, wait, this will be one of those phone calls that can't be tracked! Also, when 9/11 happened, weren't all the phone lines coming in and out of NY busy? Yes, they were. I'd venture to say that would be the case in LA, where a NUCLEAR WEAPON just exploded.

And let it be known that Fayed is a master planner. You see, Fayed planned all of this when he betrayed Assad six months ago. Yes, apparently six months is all it takes to plan a huge terrorist attack on US soil. In six months one can buy five nukes, smuggle them into the country, orchestrate the release of a bomb scientist, get Jack out of a Chinese prison, etc. But here's the kicker... it wasn't planned in six months! It was really three months and one week -- seeing that the attacks begain 11 weeks earlier.

FBI Training Academy
How does the nation's Federal Bureau of Investigation get hard-to-find information from suspected terrorists held in a prison camp? Easy, they put a wire on Walid (Sister Palmer's boyfriend). Wait one damn second, there's NO WAY IN HELL that members of a terrorist cell would talk to ANYONE unless they knew they belonged in the cell with them. Nor would they be concerned if the FBI was going to question this poor guy... especially when the FBI guy says, "I'll be back for you."

Jack Covers Lots of Ground
Jack became a statue from episode four and into episode five. When Jack actually took another step, the clock read 10:09 -- he watched the nuke cloud for over ten minutes. But then it was off to the races and to save someone! Are you telling me the helicopter crashed into the side of the house and stuck like that? How does the innocent bystander know that the chopper is about to fall? Did Jack really just use a piece of satellite antenna to jimmy the door open? Remind me again how Jack has enough strength to climb the side of a house after being in a Chinese prison for 20 months. And then explosion #6, the helicopter crashed to the ground. Shoosh, what's next on the list?

We find out that Jack's father (Phillip Bauer) is in LA (does anyone see a parallel story line to last season's Henderson story line?). Not only that, but Jack hasn't spoken to him in over nine years -- yet he knows that his father a) has a cell phone, and, b) he knows the number. Jack continues to impress me with his memory of phone numbers these days.

But let's not stop there, Jack's got a brother (which I still can't figure out if it's Gram or Gray) -- Bluetooth man! And get this, Bluetooth man doesn't like Jack, his own brother. And get this, Jack and Bluetooth man's wife might have had some thing between them... can anyone tell me why the writers pray on killing everyone that Jack loves or is related to?

The Kitchen Sink

Best line from episode five - After Jack lays the injured chopper pilot face down on the roof, he tells him "stay here." Why? You're on the roof of a house that just had a helicopter crash into it -- isn't the house unstable?
Not only have we seen Jack drive around LA easily during a regular crazy day -- but on a day where a nuke has exploded, it seems to be even easier... Except, that is, when the news is reporting the explosion and they show the traffic jam that no one important is in. Say, that could be a whole slew of episodes right there -- being stuck in traffic because of the nuke.
Says the director, "Kiefer, make sure you that when you shake your nephew's hand, turn your hand up unlike a normal handshake -- we want to see the weird acid crap on there."
Product Placement - Apple

As we know, this season has only just begun. There's sure to be a mole in the White House and CTU. Someone that knows/loves Jack will die. And, as we were assured in this episode -- here's how the writers of 24 tell you that we're about to get into a slew of baddies -- when Bill is telling Assad about the remaining nukes, he explains that there's a trail that there has to be "many people involved in the planning of this." That must be some type of metaphor for how the show is written.

24 Season 6: Episodes 3 & 4 Recap(Hours 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.)

2007-01-15T20:19:00.001-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Phew! We made it through the first four episodes, and what excitement! While the first two episodes didn't really falter too badly in the acting department, episodes three and four showed us that 24 is truly just a fun ride where no stock is put into good acting or believable writing. What they writers didn't do too much in the first half of the premiere, they more than made up for in the second half. The name of the game this season is predictable and re-run plots, what's the fun in writing new stuff?

24k ETAs
Hey everyone, don't forget this show is a 24 hour show. That means we'll have 24 one-hour episodes. And THAT means that we can actually tie time frames to actions. What actions you ask? How about meeting the demands of placing prisoners on a plan within one hour? Or maybe, that it'll take Chloe at least 10 minutes to get the satellites tracking again? Ooo, here's another one, it shouldn't take you more than 30 minutes to deliver the package to Fayed. Need another? It won't take longer than 20 minutes to assemble the bomb.

Was it beaten over your head enough?

Kumar Goes to the White Castle, In the Sky
Kumar has finally (yes, it's finally over) ended his dramatic run on 24. But not before he gave us a silly plot line that was designed to get more characters into the show. First off, he was so badly hurt, that he couldn't possibly go and deliver the package himself. Which means he had to send someone else to do his dirty work while he held the other two hostage. So while Kumar lounges on the couch and pops pain pills, he sends super dad to pick up the package (if you didn't know, anyone can walk in and pick up a part that costs somewhere in the $100k range, don't worry about names). Oh no! The guy won't sell the package, but Kumar doesn't care... so you better kill someone. Okay, he did it, now Kumar will let the family go, right?No, he can't, because if he does, then "he'll have no leverage to negotiate," duh.

As if that story-line and acting wasn't justification enough to kill off Kumar, here's the real reason he was done in. He couldn't muster enough guts to kill someone. CAN WE PLEASE WRITE IN SOME TERRORISTS WITH BALLS?

CTU is a Joke
It's funny to see CTU teeter back and forth from extremely reliable to very laughable.

At one point CTU received a phone call from Fayed that was on a "scrambled channel." Please recall that it was the same phone that Fayed has used before AND is the same phone that they've somehow picked up conversations from in the previous episode.
Remember when Bill threatened to fire Morris and Chloe, but didn't because they were short on man power? Well, not two hours later Milo is about to fire Morris just because he doesn't give a damn.
Can someone tell me why it is that every time Jack calls in to CTU, that he reaches someone different? Is there no front desk help there? Oh, maybe not, they are short on man power.
What do you mean it'll take Chloe at least ten minutes to get satellite coverage because she had to send the repositioning orders from the sub-server... whatever that is? How about you just get Morris in there with his dinky private satellite to cover things? This is CTU, how can they not have access to a bazillion satellites?
Speaking of satellites, their super sophisticated ones can track a single person running around.
I won't even mention how absurd it is that Milo dated Chloe.

What!?! Curtis went Nutso? You Don't Say!
From the second Curtis started giving lip about Jack working with Assad, if you didn't see his eminent ending coming, then I don't know what show you were watching. What's worse, it took nearly an hour of action and dialogue to finally arrive at the point where Curtis about blows his lid.

But then, Jack saves the day. Yes, he may have been in a Chinese prison for the past 20 months, but he's still the sharpest shooter on the West Coast. So Jack's second kill is his own man. We all knew Curtis would be leaving the show... but what a lousy way to go. Quickly after, Jack vomits up the nothing that is in his stomach – I think it's really that bite of neck that's coming back up.

Questions about Prisoner Transport Buses

Why does a prisoner bus have a bathroom?
Why does a prisoner bus have one driver and one guard?
How does a prisoner get from the shackled seats into the bathroom without anyone noticing?
Is anybody else asking these questions?

That Was the Bomb
It took us six years to get to this point – a nuclear bomb exploding on US soil (unless you count season two, where one exploded in the desert). I already don't care about the rest of this season, I'm more concerned with what they'll do next year! Well, anyway. Tell me why an air strike was planned to kill Assad, but when they're trying to get Fayed, they send in a ground unit? Wow, did 24 shoot their wad already? No no no, because there are FOUR MORE SUITCASE BOMBS!!! Wait, didn't they say that there was only one in existence? And if the only person who can create detonators just died, how will Fayed set off the other ones?

More Overly-Used Plot Lines

Why is there always a sub-plot where a family member is fucking something up? Case in point, Kim. Case in point, the daughter that was bi-polar. Case in point, the druggie hooker sister. Case in point, Sister Palmer, super lawyer.
For explosion #4 (hour three), how does THAT much ammunition from a foreign country get into the US without us noticing?
How do laptops constantly survive giant explosions?
How do PDAs constantly survive giant explosions?
How many times in the past five seasons have we heard this muttered, "I need to see the contract terms in writing?"

The Kitchen Sink

Best line from episode three – As Jack runs up to take a new vehicle, he throws a guy to the ground and says, "don't get up."
"Trust me," is quickly being replaced with, "we're going to do everything we can..." – Jack said it three times in episode four.
Has anyone realized that Jack is still using a cell phone that isn't his?
Product Placement – Volkswagon, U-Haul, Apple

Okay, we're officially one sixth through the season. How does everyone feel about the season so far?

24 Season 6: Episodes 1 & 2 Recap(Hours 6:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m.)

2007-01-14T20:22:00.001-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

It's nice to know that even though we're picking up 20 months after last season's ending, there are still some things that haven't changed in the land of 24. Such as beating us over the head with the plot outline for season six – Jack Bauer HAS to be sacrificed so this country can survive. Also, we've already had three explosions (on screen, five total) in two hours. We still get treated to time discontinuity seeing as it's full daylight at 6:27 AM and it was completely dark when the plane landed at 6:10. As you can see, 24 hasn't change a whole lot, so let's talk nitty gritty.

Jack is a Changed Man
So here's the scoop, Jack has been in a Chinese prison for 20 months. During which time he's grown a huge beard, been tortured and hasn't spoken a single word. But now that he's back, here's how Jack panned out in the first two hours:

Jack had a hard time speaking his first words, that's understandable. But soon enough he was running around and yelling. I'd think that you'd hurt your vocal chords or something.
He used his super CTU powers to shave and cut his hair in five minutes. Hopefully he had time to eat a nice solid meal. But he probably didn't, since eating real food would probably make his sick. Just let him go out in the world on an empty stomach and what I imagine some severely weakened muscles.
Poor Jack, he gets tortured within the first hour of coming back home. I'd venture to say that this is karma rearing its ugly head to him.
To escape his typical lousy excuse of being tied up, Jack bit someone to death. Yes, bit the dude... to death. I laughed out loud on that one.
It was a good thing that Jack remembered CTU's phone number. Or maybe it was a good thing the phone number hadn't changed in 20 months.
In other typical 24 teleportation fashion, Jack somehow outran two attack helicopters with a car.
And here's the big shocker... Jack doesn't know how to torture anyone anymore, nor does he know how to do this job. Man, those Chinese really messed him up something good. Was there a collective sobbing when Jack became Clark Kent?

Fresh Faces, New Places
It's always fun trying to discern who's who in the first few episodes – and who's a baddie. First off we have Milo back (the season one alum), so that's cool. Then we have Nadia, who I think might be compromised. Morris, Chloe's ex-boyfriend who helped Jack in the finale of season five, is now working at CTU (because Chloe isn't crazy enough). Then we have Tom (Fish) at the White House, who the writers want us to think is a baddie. Oh, and don't forget about Kumar (Ahmed), the new teenage terrorist. And finally, we have the long-lost, and never talked about, Sister Palmer (Sandra).

Advancements in Technology
While there wasn't a whole lot of mis-uses in the first two episodes, there were some that shouldn't go without mentioning:

Who knew you could make your Creative Zen a bomb detonator?
About the cell phone Jack finds in the car – He's got one voice mail. A text message. The phone is fully charged. There's a reminder set. It's not set to vibrate and then he hangs up and connects to the internet in three seconds. Then he uses Nextel's Map Around (yeah, doesn't exist) with the longitude and latitude that he got from, who?
Did you see the rack of servers in Assad's house? The amount of heat those things would put off, would definitely emit a heat registry – the same type of heat that CTU didn't seem to be able to track with their fancy satellites... anyone remember last year's season premiere when they were tracking people on different floors of a hotel? How far our technology regresses in 20 months.
Not only is Sister Palmer a super attorney, but she's also a computer wiz. She erased all of the database files and then used a shredding program (bonus points since these are actually real) to prevent recalling the files. Does anyone think that this place doesn't have daily back-ups?

Relationship Counseling Needed
If there's one thing we've learned over the years, it's that relationships inside CTU (and otherwise) don't work. Edgar died last year without professing his love for Chloe. But does that stop Chloe and Morris from hooking up and working together? No. The last married couple that worked at CTU died last year (Tony and Michelle). Does this prevent Bill and Karen from getting married? No. I won't even start on Sister Palmer's (Sandra's) relationship with Mr. Alizoni (who's obviously a baddie).

CTU Still Stands Tall
I'm still amazed that CTU hasn't been dissolved after these past seven years. How many giant attacks on US will it take to overhaul the agency?

Protocol Break #1: Chloe coerces Nadia to tell her privileged information about Jack.
Protocol Break #2: How convenient that Morris and Chloe can reposition a satellite when they're supposed to be doing other work.
When Bill finds out that Chloe and Morris nearly cost them information about Assad, he says that he can't fire them due to lack of man-power... how is it that CTU is ALWAYS under-staffed? And how is it that CTU couldn't track a private satellite in the "don't go there zone," yet the terrorists can?
When CTU was pin-pointing where the satellite feed was originating, did anyone notice the damn helicopter ten feet from Chloe's station?
Protocol Break #3: Chloe got lucky when she found that image of Jack and Assad, Bill broke protocol by not mentioning it to anyone.
How is it that Fayed can make all sorts of calls to CTU and his cronies, but CTU doesn't trace them. THEN, when we need to propel the plot some, CTU happens across a phone call from Fayed to one of his cronies? *rolling eyes*

The Wacky White House and Government
Over are the times of President Idiot from last year, but that doesn't change how inept the government appears to be in 24 Land.

First off, Baby Palmer (Wayne), isn't a convincing President. He's better than the idiot from last year, that's for sure. But why does he whisper all the time?
So the government gives Fayed an all-access pass for information on Assad. What happened to "we don't negotiate with terrorists?"
Those White House hallways seem pretty void of security – with so many attacks on US soil, would the President and his staff still be in the highly visible White House?
It's good to know that the new regime still works in silly phrases like, "real-time progress," since we need to be constantly reminded that the show is in REAL TIME.

Kiss My Assad
He's good? He's bad? He's the latest in terrorists turned good.

If Assad is a good guy, why didn't he contact the government before? Oh, because he won't work with CTU since they'll question him for days. Ummm, Assad, what do you think will happen when you're ready to talk to the real government?
In a city where an explosion went off not two hours ago, how is there not more military lock down? More importantly, how can public enemy number one, Assad, walk around in broad daylight?
How did Assad get Jack's cell phone number? You know, the phone that wasn't his?

The Kitchen Sink
The other funny/odd things worth mentioning.

Best line muttered in episodes one and two – "Drop the coffee."
Second best line – As soon as Jack rips open the dude's shirt, someone yells, "it's a bomb!"
Would terrorists really speak in English, or would they speak in their native language since they despise America?
Product placement – Creative, U-Haul, Nextel, Sprite, Toyota, and Pontiac (with the logo missing)
There's a ticket-taker on the LA subway?

Overall, it wasn't a bad first effort. The acting is surprisingly a notch better this season, so that's good. We only had one mention of Audrey, Kim and David Palmer, and that's also good. Tomorrow we get the "big explosive ending" that will "change everything." What could it be?

24 The Movie: Kiefer Speaks

2007-01-09T05:34:00.001-08:00

The latest news from Comingsoon.net – Kiefer talks about the upcoming 24 movie:

It’s something that we really, really want to make. The real key difference would be that the 24 hour film would be a 2 hour representation of a 24 hour day. It would be the first thing that we didn’t do in real time. Mainly, you have to understand, we’re making two episodes every three weeks. We would have three months to make a two hour [movie]. Just to have that kind of time to really allow our cinematographer and our director and the writers to focus on such a finite thing. And actually be able to do a film that really has a conclusion, I think would be really exciting not only for us to make but I think for an audience as well. But the thing that I’m most excited about that is that we’re going to make it within the context of still running the show.

Kiefer speaks the truth everyone... what none of us realized is that they won’t be making a 24-hour long movie, but a two-hour one instead. Sadly, that won’t even be real-time – because, why? They’re tired of doing it that way? No, because it’ll be “exciting” for the director and writer to focus on such a finite thing – because 24 hours is, apparently, infinite.

Well, look at it this way, when they do the two-hour day, they won’t have to worry about the following:

Characters needing to use the restroom
Characters having to eat
Explaining how characters teleport all over LA
Creating 22 extra hours of compelling writing
Directing 22 extra hours of amazing acting

Wait, they never did anyway.

24 Season 6: EW Says it’s Scary Good

2007-01-07T09:37:00.001-08:00

One week! One week! One week! Can you believe that there’s only ONE WEEK before the new tragedy season begins? I can’t. It seems like we’ve been sitting around in a Chinese jail for the past 20 months (while our bodies deteriorate and our beards grow), just waiting for news on the Jack Bauer front.

Now that we’re so close to the beginning of the new season, the hype machine seems to be in full effect. Not only are there non-stop promos running on television, but it looks like the first four episodes have been leaked on BitTorrent. I don’t buy for a second that someone just happened to get a hold of them and put them on BitTorrent. It was probably Fox that did it, which is fine. They’re just giving the die hard fans a chance to be cool before anyone else.

In addition to this news, I ran across an article on EW.com about this upcoming season. As you can read for yourself, the gist of the article is this... when contemplating if this season can be as good as last season, apparently there are more thrills and suspense in the first four hours than most series can pack into a single season. Great, just what we need is more crap packed in.

But before I dismissed the article, because it seemed so pro-24, I kept reading to see what else Mr. King (I think it’s THE Stephen King) had to say.

This time the story spun out by Joel Surnow, Howard Gordon, and their co-conspirators seems, if not real, then dismayingly possible. Season 5, distinguished by Gregory Itzin as President Slimeball (and let’s not forget Jean Smart as his long-suffering, screw-loosey wife), was almost extinguished by the creaking plot. Sentox? Really? It doesn’t sound like nerve gas; it sounds like something you buy at the drugstore to combat athlete’s foot or hide those embarrassing facial blemishes.

This coming from the guy who writes horror stories about killer clowns... but, for some reason, I want to believe it. Whoever reads this blog knows how I feel about 24’s last several seasons. What once was a good show has slipped, badly, and yet still somehow managed to win big-time Emmys (finally). While I don’t think the show was Emmy-worthy, I want it to be better.

King also mentions how successful the show is – which no one can argue with. But a part of that success had to do with focusing more on explosions than it did on writing and acting. Maybe season six will be different.

24 Season 6: Rick Schroder Joins Up

2006-12-09T05:52:00.000-08:00

The latest news from Comingsoon.net reports (WARNING: Spoiler Alert):

As the Season Six premiere rapidly approaches, Rick Schroder ("NYPD Blue") has joined the award-winning cast of "24." Schroder will play forceful CTU Operative MIKE DOYLE, who teams with Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) to execute crucial field operations.

Yay! Just what the show needed, some snobby white kid that was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Seriously, 24 finally wins an Emmy and they start hiring all sorts of actors to be on the show. I guess it wasn't enough for several no names to carry the series this far, now that they're "legit," they have to get real actors to act horribly.

So they got Rick Schroder? A guy whose most well-known credits are for an 80s sitcom that lasted 11 episodes and a sinking NYPD Blue? And what's he going to be on 24... a "forceful CTU Operative." Because really, are there any other types of operatives? You can say yes, but then I'll be quick to point out that if you're not forceful (aka, if you're not like Jack), you die. This guy sounds right out of the blueprints of Jack.

But is he a sidekick to Jack? Or is he the guy that replaces Jack when he's overseas getting tortured to not-death? More importantly, is he dating Kim?

This reeks of Season Three's Chase Edmonds, and it smells delicious.

24 Season 6: The First Dysfunctional Family is Back

2006-11-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

The latest news from Comingsoon.net reports (WARNING: Spoiler Alert):

The midterm elections are over, but the political drama is heating up on Fox’s "24" with Emmy nominees Jean Smart and Gregory Itzin set to recur in 2006’s most Emmy Award-winning television series.

Oh joy. As much as I loathed both Itzin and Smart’s roles (and acting) last season, I suppose it’s a good thing that both Emmy-nominated actors were brought back into the fold. Were they justified in their nominations? Maybe not. Could they win after five straight seasons of being nominated? Ask Kiefer.

But what capacity could they possibly be brought back in? The last time we saw President Logan, he was being carted off for conspiring against his nation. And the first lady, well, she set him up and was probably seen running off into the sunset with Aaron Pierce, the head of security.

In real life, a former president who conspired against a nation would probably be assassinated somehow. His wife, who was a known pill-popper, would be socially exiled, only to re-appear on reality tv.

But they were popular characters, eh? I mean, when was the last time you saw some 50-somethings getting ready to do the deed on national television? That = classy. Hopefully we get more of that, because 50-something sex is big time ratings and Emmy material.

24 Season 6: The Teaser

2006-10-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven’t seen, or heard, the news yet... the official teaser trailer for 24’s sixth season is out and you can watch it now at 24Trailer.com!

Please note - the rest of this post will contain spoilers from the teaser. Do not read on unless you don’t want to watch the teaser.

Seasoned Greetings
Oh boy, what a gem! First off, before we even see any action from the teaser, we get a nice and heartwarming thank you message from Kiefer Sutherland – "We wanted to take a moment to thank all the fans from across the globe for their continued support." Let me re-word that sentence for you... "We wanted to thank the voters who finally felt pity on us and gave us the Emmys we’ve always thought we deserved. Your check is in the mail."

So THAT’S Where Jack Has Been
The last time we saw Jack, he was beginning to take the beating of his life at the hands of the Chinese (about damn time Jack paid for his sins – killing off most everyone he loves isn’t good enough). For all we know, he would die in those hands, too. WAIT!!! WE WERE WRONG!!! He’s back! And has taken a page out of Grizzly Adams’ book, and by the way, the hippie look is on the way out.

Does anyone see a problem here? The Chinese were PISSED off. So upset that they somehow snuck into a heavily guarded airport and kidnapped Jack not 20 feet away from hundreds of people. And straight out of the pages of a James Bond movie, if you’ve got the ONE PERSON that can destroy anything on God’s green earth, just kill him. Problem solved.

Nah. They’ll probably trade him for nukes or iPods.

Season Six: The Sacrificial Chamber
I don’t think the writers/editors/anyone that works for 24, could beat it over our heads any more than they did. Jack has to sacrifice himself to make things okay with the world again. Spoiler alert!!! This is just a cheap ploy. He really won’t die. They’ve already confirmed season 7 and 8, so why would they kill off Jack now? Unless those seasons are prequels!

But really, I think the best thing the show could do would be to kill Jack Bauer. Talk about causing mass hysteria! What show would people watch to get their fill of weekly bullshit?

Guess Who’s Back
Yawn. It’s the same cast of characters. We’ve got President Palmer II, Miles (it’s really not Miles, but his clone, Peter MacNichol), Chloe (and her scowl), Curtis, Bill and Karen. Hopefully Kim will make another appearance, so we can laugh some, and how cool would it be if all of Jack’s loved one’s ghosts came back as cameos? I’m down.

Teasers = Good
The art of making a good teaser is tough to learn. Luckily it’s been perfected the past two seasons for 24. Again, this teaser is very well done – it has explosions, turmoil, Jack yelling "put down your weapon," you know, all the stuff you need in a good 24 teaser. Sadly, for us, the goodness ends there. Everything you saw in the teaser will play out in the first 6 episodes and then we’ll be stuck in a big world of hurt as everyone on the 24 staff tries to prove that they’re still worthy of television’s highest honors. Which, honestly, isn’t the case.

What did you think of the teaser?

24 Wins Emmys!!!

2006-08-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

Wow....... Are you kidding me? Who signed what deal with the devil? When did hell freeze over? And why in the f didn’t anyone tell me?

If you haven’t heard by now, 24 somehow (magically, if you will), scooped up several big time Emmys last night. Specifically, they won:

Outstanding Directing For A Drama Series (Episode 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM)
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series (Kiefer Sutherland)
Outstanding Drama Series

WHAT!?! There is no way this should’ve happened! Here’s what the Emmy wins mean for each category...

Directing (Drama Series)
According to this win, the director of 24 – Jon Cassar – is better than the directors for Big Love, Lost, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos and The West Wing. That’s THREE HBO shows and two previous network Best Drama winners. And for what... having several of your former stars killed off in one episode? Exciting stuff? Yes... but we don’t give George Lucas Oscars for making fun movies (whenever it was that he did).

Lead Actor (Drama Series)
Kiefer finally got his. After being nominated for several years, he finally comes out on top – fittingly enough, the same year he’s kidnapped and suspected to never return. If only that were the case. But was he better than Denis Leary, Peter Krause and Martin Sheen? Hardly. Anyone can run around for 24 hours, yelling constantly, torturing people and dressing up in “disguise.”

Drama Series
I really thought that only Grey’s Anatomy had a lock on this category. The West Wing was winding down and so was Six Feet Under. The Sopranos is kind of old news and House is just too odd. But for 24 to come out of nowhere to win this... I’m still stunned and it’s 24 hours later... ha! Bad one, I know, but so is the show.

Okay, so I was wrong. Big time. I thought 24 would only walk away with it’s Creative Arts Emmys, I didn’t see that coming at all. I still don’t think this was 24’s best season and now, they’ve upped the ante so much that anything less than a repeat performance could be considered a failure.

My honest opinion was that this year’s Emmy wins were charity sex favors. In all honesty, can everyone agree that 24 won these three categories outright? Not possible. If anything, they were Nader’ed – with votes splitting to other candidates and 24 winding up the beneficiary. Whichever the case, I congratulate the entire 24 team and wish them good luck again next year. Maybe this will inspire them to make a more realistic show. But that’s doubtful.

24 Season 6: Kal Penn Joins Cast, Emmy Update

2006-08-21T17:16:00.000-07:00

The latest news from Comingsoon.net reports (WARNING: Spoiler Alert):

Kal Penn (Superman Returns, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) has joined the cast of Fox’s "24" in a recurring role, says The Hollywood Reporter.

Penn will play a guy who is somehow involved with the Islamic guru running the neighborhood mosque and might be the key to a terrorist plot.

Let me get this straight, Kal Penn, resident funny man from “Van Wilder” and “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle’ will be on 24, playing a middle eastern character? I’m sure his role won’t be so funny this time around (unless he’s a total dimwit, then we can have all the fun we want!) And, to top that off, he’ll be somehow involved with the Islamic guru... nice typecasting.

In other news, the Creative Arts Emmys have been announced and our good ol’ show won two:

Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing for a Drama Series (7:00 AM - 8:00 AM )

That puts me way behind in my predictions, but puts them at 2 for 7 right now. With the Primetime awards coming up next week, we’ll be watching closely to see if the most critically-acclaimed season can garner more than its predecessors.

24 Season 6: Casting News

2006-08-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

The latest news from Comingsoon.net reports (WARNING: Spoiler Alert):

Just got off the phone with my 24 mole and he/she informs me that Eric Balfour has signed on to reprise his Season 1 role as independent CTU contractor Milo Pressman. My spy wouldn’t say how Milo would be re-introduced, but he’ll be sticking around for awhile: Balfour will be credited as a series regular.

In other 24 news, former Star Trek: Deep Space Nine doc Alexander Siddig is joining the cast as one of the evil-doers behind the big Season 6 plot. Additionally, Carlo Rota (aka Mr. Chloe O’Brien) will be back as a series regular.

Sweet, Milo Pressman is back. I’m having troubles remembering what he did way back when, but I think he was the Edgar from back in the day. This could be a good move.

In another good move, Mr. Chloe O’Brien is back. I thought it was a bit hokey to have him show up at the end of Season 5, but he was quite the charmer and could be interesting as a series regular. Unfortunately, this casting isn’t a shocker.

Alexander Siddig as the bad guy. Hmmmm... could be cast as a Middle Eastern for Season 6? I thought we would finally get away from those baddies.

24 Season 5: Wins Zero Television Critics Awards

2006-07-24T05:04:00.000-07:00

I'd venture to say that even 24's writers couldn't come up with a twist like this one. In what was hailed as 24's most critically acclaimed season, Kiefer and company came up short and didn't win a single Television Critics Award. 'Tis a bit ironic, don't you think?

On one hand you have a slew of people who think that 24 is the best show on TV. Then there's the critics who are all up in arms about this being 24's best season. But when it comes to dishing out awards for being the best in specific categories, 24 comes up short.

Is a snub from the critics. I bet most people will think so, but it's really not. 24 is all about excitement, adrenaline and awe. It's not about acting or good writing. So when you pit 24 up against shows that are praised for good acting and writing, it doesn't have a shot of winning. It would be like pitting Mission Impossible 3 against Crash for the Best Picture Oscar.

Even though I wasn't 100% correct with my predictions, I did guess that 24 wouldn't win. Next up, the Emmys.

24 Season 6 News: Interviews with Kim Raver and Jon Cassar

2006-07-20T19:36:00.000-07:00

The latest news from Comingsoon.net reports the following information derived from interviews with Kim Raver (Audrey) and Jon Cassar (Co-Executive Producer) – (WARNING: Spoiler Alert):

Is Audrey returning?
Since Ms. Raver is now a leading character on next fall’s The Nine, there is some speculation whether or not Audrey returns. The word right now is that there are several options and nothing is nailed down. C’mon, she’ll be way too busy to bring her back. Besides, Jack can start screwing a new chick and terrorizing whichever relative of hers that he chooses.

Will there be another 10 minute video that links Seasons 5 and 6?
It’s not certain yet, but it looks like it. And if you read Cassar’s response, it sounds like Jack is BACK from China. I don’t think that’s correct, but it would be hilarious to put Jack THAT much higher on a pedestal and say he can escape an ENTIRE nation and get back to the US before the next day begins.

Is Season 6 going to be shot in NY?
Who cares? You go from one of the most spread out cities in the US to one of the most dense – but traffic doesn’t change. Though, I would say a nice subway sequence would be pretty cool – or should I say could be pretty cool. And if you try to fake a NY setting in LA... riiiiight.

There’s one more question in the interview snippet, but it’s boring. Check it out if you want/have time.

24 Season 6: It Already Sounds Stupid

2006-07-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

The latest news from Comingsoon.net reports (WARNING: Spoiler Alert):

Regina King (Ray) is joining the cast of Fox’s 24, while D.B. Woodside is being bumped up to series regular, reports Variety.

In a Kennedyesque twist, Woodside -- who plays Wayne Palmer, brother of assassinated President David Palmer -- will begin season six as the newly elected president of the United States.

King, meanwhile, joins as heretofore unseen Palmer sister Angela, a powerful lawyer with an advocacy group.

I don’t mind the bump from part-time to full-time for Wayne Palmer, but he’s now the President!?! This is a guy who was running around with Jack last season shooting bad guys and kidnapping a bank official. If that doesn’t show that he’s President material, I don’t know what does. And with as much strife as the Palmer family has endured during their time in office, why would the public want another Palmer in the Oval Office? Answer, apparently the "dumb president" schtick is up.

Why not get the previous President in there – the one that was shot, which allowed Logan to take his place? That would be more interesting.

On the other half of this news, Palmer’s sister is now in the mix. If anyone can’t see that this is another Sherry Palmer story-line waiting to happen, then you’re not thinking wishfully enough. Honestly though, it’s taken five seasons for us to find out that Palmer had a powerful lawyer sister? Doubtful, she would have been around the second David was elected President.

I’d much rather see Palmer’s kids in a new role than his sister that we’ve never caught glimpse of.

Looks to be shaping up for a pretty corny story-line already. But we’ve still got five months until January. Hang on a while, you’ll hear more news here when it breaks.

24 Season 6: Peter MacNicol Joins Cast

2006-07-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

The first news of season 6 has officially hit the wire – Peter MacNicol has joined the cast. MacNicol (who previously starred in Ally McBeal and currently stars in Numb3rs) will portray a high-ranking government official. He plans to shoot both 24 and Numb3rs simultaneously for next season.

Interestingly enough, MacNicol won a supporting actor Emmy in 2001 for his role of John Cage in Ally McBeal (in addition, he was nominated for Emmys three times for that role). Does that mean this bring instant credibility to the cast of 24? Not necessarily, but it doesn’t hurt it.

Is anyone thinking what I’m thinking? Is he the new Miles Papazin?

24 Season 5 Nominated for 12 Emmys!?!

2006-07-10T16:25:00.000-07:00

Well I’ll be. Season 5 of 24, constantly hailed as 24’s best season by critics, has somehow garnered 12 nominations for the 58th Primetime Emmy Awards. Last year, it was nominated 11 times (three times in one category) and only won three Emmys (and I was pretty right on with my guesses). Could this year be more of the same? Possibly. While the show is exciting, it usually doesn’t have enough good acting or writing to pick up anything besides Sound Editing and Stunt Coordination.

24 Season 5 Emmy Nominations:

Outstanding Cinematography For A Single-Camera Series (Episode 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM) *
Outstanding Directing For A Drama Series (Episode 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM)
Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing For A Drama Series (Episode 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM) *
Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing For A Drama Series (Episode 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM)
Outstanding Music Composition For A Series (Dramatic Underscore) (Episode 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM)
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series (Kiefer Sutherland)
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series (Gregory Itzin) *
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series (Jean Smart)
Outstanding Drama Series
Outstanding Sound Editing For A Series (Episode 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM) *
Outstanding Single-Camera Sound Mixing For A Series (Episode 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM)
Outstanding Stunt Coordination (Episode 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM) *

So really, we’re making nominations based on three episodes – the season premiere, the season finale and the one episode with huge explosions. Fair enough. It’s also interesting to note that the Academy has given up on nominating it for Outstanding Casting (because pretty much the entire cast wasn’t too great).

I’ve marked my predictions for 24’s winners with asteriks above. Kiefer will be snubbed again (screaming at people, shooting 100’s of extras and torturing people isn’t acting) and Jean Smart won’t win an Emmy for her blubbering. Although, I DO think that Gregory Itzin will win for his role as the idiot President (if he’s acting, that is). 24 will also walk away with some of its usual awards, again, which it deserves because it’s put together pretty well from a musical and editing stand point.

We’ll see how it does. Below are 24’s past nominations and wins.

Season 1: 2002 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
Winner: Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Art Direction for a Single Camera Series
Nominated: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 2: 2003 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Nominated: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 3: 2004 Emmys

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Winner: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Winner: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 4: 2005 Emmys (winners not yet determined)

Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Cinematography for a Single-Camera Series
Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
Nominated (three times): Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
Winner: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
Winner: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

24 Season 5 Nominated Three Times by Television Critics Association

2006-05-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

The Television Critics Association has spoken – and what horrible words they have muttered. Apparently, 24 hasn’t only found a way to make the common TV viewer drone out for 24 total hours and watch filth, but they’ve somehow convinced the critics to nominate them for awards!

I’m not saying that 24 doesn’t deserve its fair share of gold... as you can see, last year it was nominated 11 times for Emmys. The sad thing, to some, is that (as with the other previous three seasons) it only won three Emmys, all in non-glamorous categories – Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series, Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series and Outstanding Stunt Coordination. But they’re still awards, right?

This time around 24 has been nominated three times – Program of the Year, Outstanding Achievement in Drama and Individual Achievement in Drama.

So how will 24 fare?

Program of the Year
Here 24 is pitted against Grey’s Anatomy, Lost, The Office and The Sopranos. Tough crowd. The Sopranos is on the way out, so it doesn’t win. Lost is too silly, much like 24 (but it knows it, so that’s okay), so it won’t win. That leaves Grey’s Anatomy and The Office... I say Grey’s wins here, de-throning Desperate Housewives which won the award last year.

Outstanding Achievement in Drama
The combatants here are again Grey’s Anatomy, House, Lost and The Sopranos. Again, I think Grey’s takes it. No way could it win best overall and NOT get this.

Individual Achievement in Drama
Good ol’ Jack could walk away with some gold here. He’s going up against Alan Alda (The West Wing), James Gandolfini (The Sopranos), Hugh Laurie (House) and Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer). Alda is out here, but did a superb job this season. No to Gandolfini and Laurie. The only person I see giving Bauer a run is Sedgwick, who is supposed to be a knock-out on The Closer. I’d actually like to see who can get a confession faster, her or Jack. My money is on Jack.

One out of three wouldn’t be so bad, especially considering how goofy the show is. But I kinda hope the don’t win, we don’t need the writers getting any more crazy ideas.

24 Season 5: Episodes 23 and 24 Recaps(Hours 5:00 a.m. - 7:00 a.m.)The FINALE!!!Post #50!

2006-05-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Here we are, at the end of another long day in Jack Bauer's amazing life. It truly is an amazing life. I'm sure that after living the normal life for the past 18 months (we say 18 months because it's cooler than saying 1.5 years), he was chomping at the bit to get back into the fast lane of time travel and insane technology. But alas, the Earth only revolves once every 24 hours, and it's time that we end this mockery of human intelligence.

Too Bad It Wasn't A Yellow Submarine

It took just five minutes to kill the entire crew and for the nerve gas to clear? I wasn't aware that submarines had ventalition systems that powerful.
"We haven't received any distress signals from the crew..." Right. Remember, you only left seven of them there, that's all.
It will take you to 22-25 minutes to scramble fighters!?! You were about to take out a civilian plane in less than five not two hours ago. This is a stationary target. AND you're sending two fighters? What a consistent military.
Go Officer Rooney! Make him a killer, Jack! Tell him exactly how to slit someone's throat. Good job. Now tell him that he doesn't have a choice. Good! If only you could kill someone in front of him later on...
From the absurdity file – Henderson is going in with Jack.
Hey Rooney, if you're 30 feet away from the hatch (read, MAYBE 15), why are you talking out loud?
From the absurdity file #2 – * CTU only sends three guys (one of them being a criminal) to stop a terrorist?
I must have missed something... When did Henderson get an ear piece?
Jack's been legally dead twice now, it's going to take more than two wrench whacks to take him down.
Henderson, you fool! YOU FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!!!
In what was easily the BEST PART OF THE SEASON, Jack kills Henderson!

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

"Mike, I've never been more sober. Or more sane." You've had children lady! Yikes.
Mike has been the epitome of not trusting anyone for the past four seasons, why is Mike so eager to help now? Especially without evidence?
Aaron says that he'll go somewhere where the President's men can't find him. Good luck with that. He's the PRESIDENT.
"He's leaving for Washington around that time." You're the Chief of Staff, Mike, you should know exactly when he's leaving.
From the absurdity file #3 – Morris O'Brien, Chloe's ex-husband, is the ONLY person who can effectively break protocol in this situation, and they just give him access into CTU's giant mainframe? Riiiiiiiight.
Mike and Aaron drove out, buried a dude, got back AND tried to stop the President from leaving, all in 10 minutes? That's good time efficiency.
Yes! OG Sherry Palmer on the TV with David!
Jack has been waiting a long time for this... getting to torture the President!
How exactly is Jack just driving around on the presidential compound premesis? And is that a Scion?
"I don't know how to respond. I never expected you to say anything like that." Sorry dude, she never expected you to kill a former President and help plan out a terrorist attack on US soil. Get over yourself.
Why does Jack insist to keep his phone on loud ringer?
It took all of five minutes to have sex!?! A guy like him should have trouble getting it up, especially on a day like this. No messed up hair. No pillow talk. And wow, does the first lady look good after not being able to freshen up for the past 5 hours. Sex does a body good.

Would You Like To Ride In My Helicopter?

It's lucky they have a nice color fax machine at the ranch. Wait! TWO!!!
Good thing the helicopter pilot took his helmet with him. Just in case Jack needs it. Master of disguise, Jack Bauer! Keep that sunshield down, it's pretty bright outside.
"I'm Ron Franklin, there's my protocol." This, from the guy who averages 99 protocol breaks a day.
I'd hate to think that a pilot for the President would choose his own life over the President's. If he would've thought about it, he could've let Jack shoot him, which would cause a stir in the whole helicopter.
From the absurdity file #4 – Now that the helicopter is WAY off course, is anyone besdies Chloe trakcking it? Oh, there they are, 10 minutes behind. They'd be on them in one minute, if not less.

Where ARE All Of These Abandoned Warehouses?

The sun is already coming up at 6:15? I think in episode one, the sun was coming up at 7:00.
Need more evidence? How about you just call the phone number that is logged in his cell phone over 200000000 times in the past 24 hours?
The Secret Service wouldn't take Jack into custody, they'd kill him. He had the President held hostage at gun point.

Good Bye Palmer

The helicopter sure did get back on track fast. Wouldn't the President be taken to some type of de-briefing zone? Or put on Air Force One and be flown around for the next several hours? How soon we forget 9/11.
Did they really shoot machine guns for the 21-gun salute?
Full sunlight at 6:45 in the morning?
"I can't believe you're really here," says Audrey. I can't believe that Audrey is still standing after a day like this.

The Final Twist!!!

Jack has a phone call from his daughter at the warehouse he was taken into custody at. Never-mind that she SOMEHOW got that phone number or where Jack was. You idiot. You walked right into that.
"I found this in edgar's possesions..." Why were you going through his stuff, Bill?
What exactly is a long memory?
I agree with Jack's plea, kill him. He's not THAT valuable.

And there you have it. The end of another looooooooong season. I thought we'd never get to see the Chinese come back into it, so that was a nice twist. It WAS the most action-packed season so far, but man, they're setting the bar awfully high. Let's see, we shot Palmer, killed off Michelle, killed terrorists at an airport, gassed a mall, tried to kill the Russian President, gassed CTU, killed junkies, blew up a prominent office building server room, killed Tony, blew up a gas plant, landed a plane on a highway, broke onto/gassed a sub, thwarted that, AND kidnapped the President.

Some one pinch me, next season will rot.

24 Season 5: Episodes 21 and 22 Recaps(Hours 3:00 a.m. - 5:00 a.m.)

2006-05-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

It’s the night of the two-hour season finale. We’re almost done, people, almost done. I’ve finally figured out a good comparison for 24. 24 is to TV, what the Batman franchise was to movies – it was awesome at first (Burton, Keaton and Nicholson), but then became a pile of crap and very laughable. You really have to check your brain at the door and just ignore many stupid things. I didn’t take too detailed of notes this week, I’m just saving it up for the finale. Here are the most absurd notes from the last two episodes:

The President doesn’t want to kill innocent people on a plane, but is fine with gasing people to death in a mall and hospital.
VCI Distress signal... this is completely made up.
They only send one plane to shoot down the passenger plane? I doubt that.
The plane needs 5000 feet to land, needs to slow down, the dissent was too steep... but they made it... good thing there was NO ONE driving on the highway at that time (maybe the curfew was finally working)?
Let’s see, I don’t think Federal Agents outweigh Military in a time of martial law, especially when you have orders from the President.
Right, yet another bad guy that has infiltrated CTU. Why do they need to transfer Bierko at 3:30am? That’s right, for plot reasons.
Audrey has the immune system of a god. That’s twice today that she’s bounced back from near death situations. Impressive. If she and Jack mate, their babies would be superhumans.
Miles has one of those erase digital data gadgets, cool. But I didn’t know that magnets lit up like that.
The transport was taken out by an IED. Oh, makes sense. What’s that? And where was the military during that?
One canister was held back, possible. The guy just grabs it in his arms with no protective suit or gloves, that goes against how they’ve handled the canitsters all day long.
It’s a shame that CTU constantly finds themselves in situations where they have to give deals to criminals.
A Phoenix Shield!?! This guy has a crazy firewall and tons of super scanning software. But doesn’t have any type of dectection stuff on his roof-top?
Jack can jimmy open any lock with his skeleton key knife.
There’s a Russian Nuculer sub at a non-military port in LA, during a martial law situation, and there’s about 7 guys protecting the ship?

Get ready, the finale should be a barn-burner.

The Official 24 Season Finale Drinking Game

2006-05-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

With the season finale lurking in the shadows, I found an interesting article in today’s Kansas City Star. The idea is to have a 24 season finale party. But they talk about making a 24-themed drink or buffet. Boooooring.

The best part of the article was the idea of taking a drink when certain things occured during the show. So why not blow this out a little bit more?

The Ofiicial 24 Season Finale Drinking Game

When the following items occur during the two-hour finale of 24 (May 22, 8 p.m. Eastern), take a drink:

A clock appears
A CTU phone rings
The president acts like an idiot
Chloe grimaces
Something is uploaded to Jack’s PDA
Chloe sets up a VPN, hacks into something, or anything nerdy sounding
Anyone gives an ETA in an interval of five minutes
Anyone drives across LA in 10 minutes, or less

When the following items occur during the two-hour finale of 24, finish your drink:

Jack breaks the law
There’s a CTU security breakdown
Anything that would not happen in our real-life government
Yet another main bad guy is revealed
Jack tortures someone
Audrey dies

When the following items occur during the two-hour finale of 24, swear off 24 for ever:

Audrey survives
They show previews for next season
Kim returns
Mandy, the sexy assassin, doesn’t return

Have fun.

24 Season 5: Episodes 18, 19 and 20 Recaps(Hours 12:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m.)

2006-05-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Wow. Three whole weeks worth of 24 in one day. Talk about torture – and not the good kind (from Jack). So I’ve been super busy lately, I apologize. Fortunately for us, 24 has remained pretty lame. Instead of nit-picking the entire trio of episodes, I’m just going to run down the things that stood out and occurred over and over... which in itself could be a pretty long list.

What DOES Martial Law Mean?
Seriously. I’ve never lived under Martial Law, but I’m going to assume that it’s more tenacious than this....

How neat, President Logan uses a Razr cell phone. He’s not too worried about all phones being tapped or monitored? I’d think a cell phone wouldn’t be too safe during a time of Martial Law.
Jack’s running around LA in a stolen cop car. Oh, it also has bullet holes in it. Yet he’s not seen by any other law enforcement people, military or does he ever go through any check point? Not even when he goes to an airport? Wouldn’t private airports be under super security (because apparently private ones aren’t)?
Defense Secretary Heller would not be left alone during a time of Martial Law. Nor would he be able to land at any airport (much less strike it from the records) without some sort of military approval.
Why is Heller driving a car by himself? Shouldn’t he have escorts?
It seems like everyone gets around LA really easily by car. So why do they sometimes take helicopters? I can only assume for plot reasons. Also, do you think that random helicopters would be able to fly around a city under Martial Law?

Technology Rulez!
The ever-expanding list of amazing CTU/24-based technology continues.

Mike is using a Sprint phone to watch the President’s latest news bites. Why not just turn on the TV, it’d be much cheaper?
“Damn she’s good, she set up a proprietary comm channel,” says Miles, after he completes the quickest phone trace ever.
Chloe’s going to access CTU’s sub net and set up a VPN so that phone calls are untraceable. Riiiiight.
It’s good to know that anyone with know-how can access secret security satellites.
What did Henderson do with the recording? He won’t say? Oh, just have Chloe pull satellite recordings, then you’ll know.
All that nerd talk from Miles means that he knows what he’s talking about... so don’t question it people!
They found Chloe with some super fancy map-tracking software. Yes, they can track physical IP locations within seconds and cycle through tons of road maps to show locations.
How is it that Miles could trace Chloe at Bill’s house, but can’t now that she’s in a hotel bar?

CTU: the Haven for Criminals
Not only will terrorists continue to break into, and out of, CTU... but it’s just not a safe place in general (thinking back to previous season’s of bombings and nerve gas attacks).

It’s a good thing that Chloe is a good pickpocket.
Why is it that when figures of authority are talking to guards, they always go into another room?
How lucky was it that a laptop was just laying around?
Tell me how Chloe just walks out of CTU after being placed in custody with no hassle?
Better yet, how does she get to Bill’s house so quickly and without military consequence?

Escape from Van Nuys + The Stowaway
Jack makes yet another escape after being in custody (further proving his ability to escape good and evil).

The pipe is so hot that it’s smoking the plastic cuffs, but not burning Jack’s skin?
Guard One: Mark, status report.
Guard Two: Same as the last 25 times you called. I’m just walking around NOT guarding the prisoners. Yes, they’re still in a room by themselves.
We all know that Jack is a good shot from 50 feet away... with a handgun. I’m just hoping that the helicopter’s spinning blades don’t alter where the bullets go.
Why in the world would Jack put a tourniquet on and then remove it seconds later (to check on it)?
Jack sneaks onto the tarmac by being on top of a truck. Which rules since his phone isn’t on vibrate.
How is Jack hiding on a damn plane? Not only that, but how does he just knock-out a US Marshall?
How did the pilot know the marshall was knocked out? The flight attendant only said that he was assaulted (which, if you look it up, doesn’t mean knocked out).
WHAT!?! Jack can control how a plane flies through the luggage department? Brilliant!

... and the Kitchen Sink

Audrey used a pay phone that’s located on a tarmac... Name me one pay phone you’ve seen in the past three weeks, then name me one pay phone that you’ve EVER seen on a tarmac. And where are all the airport workers? Planes don’t just drive around airports without supervision.
Irony at its best – Jack kicks the asses of so many terrorists, yet gets chopped down by Heller.
How did Henderson smash into a barn and hit his head on the steering wheel? Wouldn’t the airbag deploy?
WHAT WAS THAT NOISE THAT HENDERSON MADE? A yip?
With as much cell phone usage that these people imploy, it’s surprising that their phones and PDAs don’t die.
Where is Bill hiding Wayne Palmer?
The hotel bar is open, and relatively busy, at 2 a.m.?

First there was The Syndicate on The X-Files. Then there was the The Company on Prison Break. Now, there’s this small group that apparently calls the shots. Bore. Ugh, only four episodes and five hours to go. What could possibly go wrong now?

24 Season 5: Episodes 16 and 17 Recaps(Hour 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m.)

2006-04-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

We’re getting close to the end of the season... can you all feel it? Can you feel the twists that lie ahead? Can you feel the plot-holes that line the way? Well can you? I can, but they don’t just lie ahead, they occurred last week and tonight.

The Miles and Karen Show
Who died and made these two Pinky and the Brain? Why is it just these two goobers that are trying like mad to take over CTU for Homeland Security? Seems awfully petty of a story line this late in the season. And talk about silly quotes from Karen, how about the following:

“Homeland Security is issuing a unit-wide backslash protocol... Christopher Henderson remains and open protocol.” Karen, did you run out of techno-babble words to say? Or does Homeland Security, like CTU, run on the book of 40,000 protocols?
In regards to the Homeland Security takeover Karen mutters, “sometimes I wonder if it was a necessary one...” Sometimes? Like you’ve had two years and not just the past 25 minutes to dwell on this?
When Audrey asks who the hell issued the warrant for Jack’s arrest, “I’m not at liberty to say.” Let’s see... we know it was an executive ordered warrant... so who has authority to order anyone, especially the head of Homeland Security, around? Could it be someone they’ve interfaced with all day?

Martial Law Is a Very Unproven Strategy
This whole notion of Martial Law in LA is bogus. Let’s look at a timeline of Martial Law lameness from these two episodes:

Just how did Henderson’s bad guys get onto the Presidential Retreat Compound land and shoot off rockets without being detected? They’re in a van, not an off-road vehicle, so it’s not like they can outsmart the military by going off-road.
Oh... nevermind my last point, Service Road 19 is the back-way into the Presidential Retreat Compound.
So during last week’s episode, there was no talk about roadblocks while everyone just drove around with no problems. But NOW there’s concern about military roadblocks being everywhere. If there was a curfew in effect, I’d say that hotels would probably be instructed to a) close and b) report anybody who tried to get a room.
No Audrey, your dad (aka, the worst actor ever on 24) can’t re-route his plane to LA, it’s under Martial Law. Also, no, you can’t keep it off the manifest either, you’re the Department of Defense during a time of crisis, everything government related would be under high scrutiny.
Apparently, under Martial Law, you have to give your full name for 911 emergency assistance.
Uh, wouldn’t all banks be super guarded during a time of martial law?
Audrey has special clearance to drive around during Martial Law, since she works for the DOD. The DWP truck has clearance, because, well, he just does.
In addition to giving your full name during Martial Law, when you call 911, you only get two medics... back in normal life, you’d have maybe two cop cars there as well.
How was it that Jack, Wayne and bank-man had to walk to the bank because there were too many military checkpoints (that were uploaded to Jack’s PDA, remember), but the bad guys trying to kill Jack and Wayne can drive right up to the front entrance?
During a bank robbery, only two cop cars are sent. Yes, the two cop cars that should’ve been at the 911 stop.

Technology, and MORE, From the Future!!! Err...???
CTU’s, and others’, technology genius is very abundant in 24. Not only that, but even regular items are pretty hi-tech. But sometimes things happen on 24 that make you scratch your head.

People-Tracking Satellites
We learned about this one in season four... you can actually use a satellite to track where humans are in a specific radius. I think it uses infrared sensory. But tonight, when they were trying to find Jack after the explosion, they couldn’t (even though not 30 minutes earlier, they used it to track the guards). Then, later in the episode, Chloe kept uploading updated satellite pics for Jack so he could kill guards where Henderson was holding Evelyn’s child.
The Other Satellites
Audrey had a very hard time reprogramming the satellites to move once Henderson took off from the child exchange. Yet, later on, Miles (who must be some super nerd) did just that and was able to track Audrey’s vehicle in REAL TIME (remember, that’s our phrase of the season). But then, something totally unexpected happened, the satellite lost connection. How!?! Satellites NEVER lose connection! (Here is where you don’t talk about cell phones dropping service, or that we used to move our dishes around to get better television reception)
Wayne’s Magic IP Tracing Skills
Evelyn can’t lie, Wayne traced the IP account right to her address... which could be possible, if she had her own server (which isn’t out of the question if she was working on official government business) But, these emails were personal and she probably didn’t want them trackable from the White House, so my assumption is that she was using a free email account and dial-up, dsl or cable modem – which randomly assigns an IP address each time a connection is made. Now, it WOULD be traceable, if absolutely necessary... but I believe there would be a LOT of red tape to wade through and too much tape for a former Chief of Staff to bypass in half a day (a half day marred with the death of his brother and former President – no way in hell Wayne is out here doing this crap on a day like this).
The Teleportation Devices Return
When did Evelyn ever have time to record a conversation and take it all the way into the city, put it in a safety deposit box at some random bank and then get back to the Presidential Retreat Compound?
Yeah, I Have No Clue
Using a VPN pathway you can hide phone calls. Good to know. If that’s the case, then maybe Henderson has been using a VPN all day long, since he’s using the same damn phone since early on... can’t trace things with a VPN, remember?
Gun Stuff
Jack’s a pretty good shot with a silenced gun, which by the way, doesn’t silence a gun like that. And if Jack can shoot four men in two seconds, why didn’t he just shoot Henderson in the leg? Also, would a bullet really stop after hitting breakaway glass? I don’t think so.

Random Questions For You

Would Audrey back on duty so quickly after being injected with the burning truth syrum?
Just how many bad guys can there be in one season of 24?
If you had a dollar for every time Chloe caved to someone saying, "c’mon Chloe, I need this," how much would you have?
If you were meeting someone at a secret location and were concerned about safety, would you be standing right in the middle of an open barn?
Banks have no back doors for security reasons? How about fire code reasons?

Stay tuned for next week, when Defense Secretary Heller returns to take back the bad acting crown!

24 Seasons 6, 7 and 8... All But Confirmed

2006-04-10T06:34:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

According to Variety, and reported via ComingSoon.net, it appears that Kiefer Sutherland has signed a deal with Fox to stay with the show for three more years. In addition, Kiefer will be bumped to executive Producer for season’s 6 and 7, instead of the co-executive producer title that he shares right now.

Unfortunately, the new deal stipulates that this is for TV only. That means that the rumored 24 movie is sort of being put on the back burner. It doesn’t mean it won’t happen eventually, but just not right now.

So there you have it, folks, another three seasons. And if that doesn’t spoil enough things for you, yes, that means that Jack will be back... so I guess he survives this season.

24 Season 5: Episode 15 Recap(Hour 9:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.)

2006-03-27T19:41:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

If there’s one thing that Fox and 24 has taught me over the past few years about their previews for the next episode, is that a majority of what you see in them happens within the first 15 minutes of the show. Last week’s preview showed Jack interrogating Audrey – that was over within 15 minutes. So don’t think that when you see a preview that the entire episode will revolve around everything you saw. But we’re not here to discuss previews...

For Those Keeping Score, Jack STILL Has Zero Authority
Remember, he doesn’t work for CTU, he’s acting on his own authority. So why the charade about Jack having power this season? Jack can’t “sanction” an interrogation for Audrey. He also can’t just waltz into a room where a US Marshall is and knock him out to talk to the detainee. It served him right to get cuffed and tazered when he did, but damn... how about some consistency here. Jack would be no where close to this investigation.

While we’re talking about Audrey, was anyone rooting for Jack to just snap her neck? No? Okay, maybe not... but did anyone question how sympathetic Audrey would be towards Jack AFTER she just got injected with tons of interrogation chemicals? Does anyone remember Jack nearly killing her ex-husband last season by interrogation? Flashback!

One last thing about Audrey... I bet she dies by the end of the season. Jack can’t have a happy ending.

We Always Knew Chloe Was Good... But THIS Good?
Wow, let’s get this straight, in five minutes time, Chloe confirmed that Walt Cummings and Audrey stayed in the same room at the River Hotel (not real) in Pikesville, Maryland, by:

Searching all of Audrey’s “records” over the past 18 months
Pinpointing a time/date when she and Cummings were both at the same hotel
Emailing photos of both Audrey and Cummings to the hotel manager AND received confirmation that he recognized both Walt and Audrey

Is it odd to anyone that, for whatever reason, the manager is STILL at the hotel at 9:00 p.m. Pacific time? Let’s do a counting exercise... 9:00 p.m. Pacific time is 10:00 p.m. Mountain time, 11:00 p.m. Central time and 12:00 a.m. Eastern time. Yes, midnight, and the hotel manager is still at the hotel and answering emails (with proof of phone bills and room service receipts)within two minutes. Not buying that one.

The New Sherry (NOT Palmer)
So the new, young, hot Sherry has a past with Miles (goober nerd)... just what we need, another side story. It’s a good thing that Chloe is on her side, and an even better thing that Sherry has knowledge about Natural Gas Distribution centers, mixing gas with another chemical and psi. I best not fail to mention 24’s weak attempt at humor, every man must be a sexual predator on this show now. Side note, who thinks Edgar was killed so that Chloe and Miles could hook up?

Get More Evidence!
It’s clearly not enough evidence that Collette Stinger’s (someone who had JUST sold schematics to Bierko -- assisting and aiding a terrorist) name was on Henderson’s computer. But it was more than enough evidence for a hotel manager to ID Audrey and Cummings (someone who assisted and aided a terrorist)?

Wilshire Gas Company
Never mind the oddly placed phone sign outside the receiving dock (you know, just in case anyone who wound up inside the locked gates needed to know where a phone was), that’s none of your concern. What IS your concern is this...

The safety precautions one would take when shooting guns inside a natural gas building (no, bodies being shot from a maximum of 10 feet away will NOT stop a bullet from hitting gas containers OR controls in the control room)
The feasibility of being able to pick up heat signatures from people outside of a natural gas plant (which are pretty hot to begin with)
The fact that you won’t be able to hear a helicopter when you’re standing outside guarding the door

The Long Road to the Presidential Compound
Would a Presidential compound have an entrance miles away from the actual place and NO supporting security all the way to the compound? Doubtful. Would there be a long enough drive for someone to go out and scout for anyone having car trouble? Doubtful number two. Would Wayne Palmer have such a bad ass gun? Doubtful number three. Would the military (the ones guarding the entrance) not notice a rocket being shot at someone (not to mention whatever other surveillance was taking place to guard the President)? Doubtful number four.

What a fun episode that was. Not that I’m complaining, but why wasn’t the President told about any of the crap going on this week? And if there was a huge military curfew going on, why wasn’t there military breaking up the faux fight by the terrorists? Whatever. I did enjoy the special effects and I’m really digging on Karen’s character. There’s a small silver lining in there somewhere.

24 Season 5: Episodes 13 and 14 Recaps(Hours 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.)

2006-03-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

I apologize for my recent absence, it’s not nice leaving all of you hanging high and dry for some 24 recaps. But I should really be apologizing to myself, since watching two episodes back to back is almost a fate worse than death. Needless to say, I survived 24’s sappiest episode ever and then the load of crap that followed it this week. Let’s get to it!

Episode 13: CTU’s Lips Are Sealed, Kinda
Funny how the episode started off with some dude announcing what areas are safe within CTU. Hmmm, anyone that can hear you is alive and already IN the safe area. And I’m not completely buying the notion that all of the CRT units were deployed to the hospital, that was like five episodes ago and the hospital was fine. Not only that, but Curtis was WAY off in his 30 minute arrival estimate since we never saw him again until episode 14.

How lucky was it that Kim’s boyfriend was a psychologist? I think instead of helping Chloe, he needed to be in the room with the security guard and Lynn, working out Lynn’s insecurities about being beaten up. Why was the security guard grilling Lynn about NOT telling anyone, when he should’ve asked HOW Lynn got back inside – we all want to know that.

Who caught Tony’s best impersonation of Inigo Montoya? “My name is Tony Almeda, you killed my wife, prepare to die.” It’s a good thing that Jack reached into his bag (and season one) to bring up Teri, that seemed to quell Tony for a little bit longer.

I noticed that Chloe didn’t grab a power chord for the laptop, hopefully it was charged up before the nerve gas was released. And speaking of impressive technology, does every government agency have computer systems that tell them air pressure, air/gas mixture ratio, sealant capacity, etc., other than nuclear power plants? Doubtful. While we’re talking about seals, how forward-thinking of the terrorists to include an acid that could corrode the seals on the doors. But wait... wouldn’t that same acid corrode the seals on the canisters that contain the nerve gas? Naaaaah!

Let’s talk about the seals a bit more:

How exactly do you use a computer program to slow a seal from corroding?
How does the room that Jack and company were in had actual seals running down the gaps in the doors and windows... but the room that Lynn and security guard were in didn’t?
How are the seals 80% in 25 minutes, but they still have 20 minutes before they’re gone completely?
Would this acid stuff also corrode other things, such as computers, wires, or skin? I would think so.

The best part of this episode was the phone conversation that the security guard had with his daughter, almost tear-jerking. In addition, not that I’m excited that we lost yet another CTU director, but that was cool how Lynn went out.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the First Family is further proving that they are the most ignorant and dysfunctional family in US History. It’s absolutely ignorant that the VP and President are openly talking about Martial Law without even the mention of a cabinet, Congress or Senate. Wouldn’t happen.

One more good thing about the episode, Tony kicked it. Whoever said no one was safe, God bless you. Let’s kill Jack, next!

Episode 14: A Hodge Podge of Stuff

Why is it such a secret that CTU is going to be taken over by Homeland Security? If another government agency went down, there would be a protocol for such an event. We all know how CTU loves following protocol, so no one should be surprised when this happens.
Wayne Palmer is back! That’s a good thing.
Explain to me this quote regarding the Martial Law declaration, “our legal people are working on it right now.”
It’s no wonder Bill and others were concerned... Homeland Security walks in with five, maybe six, people and takes over CTU. That’s normal.
Nice “german” accent from Stoller (who also appears on Lost).
Can we go one episode without breaking protocol? Also, still no word from the Chinese this season regarding the information that Jack is still alive?
If the mega-snotty geek from Homeland Security was able to figure out that Chloe sent something to Jack, how can you not figure out what it was?
Past season loophole: If CTU knows what car Collette was driving, why don’t they just trace it back to Bierko with their satellites?
Explain to me how one “programs a memory card to self-destruct.”
Weird, yet another potential mole inside of CTU storyline!

24 Season 5: Episodes 11 and 12 Recaps(Hours 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.)

2006-03-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

What a treat! You gotta love double-episodes. You also gotta love the episodes where it switches from day to night in 10 minutes (because that’s how it works in real life). Now that we’re officially half-way into the season, I think it’s safe to say we’ve reached a turning point... unfortunately, it’s all downhill from here.

Don’t Tell Tony The Babysitter’s Dead
Well it’s about time that Tony woke up... we’ve been alluding to it for 11 episodes now. I thought Jack needed to know as soon as Tony woke up, because he needed to get information from him. Guess it’s not that big of a deal now. Just like not telling Tony that his wife is dead. For good reason, I suppose, he’s been through a lot today. No worries, but feel free to go ahead and give him classified information about the nerve gas, the ex-CTU agent and the terrorists. I mean, he was almost EXPLODED to death, but after a 10 hour nap, I think I’d be up for hearing that stuff AND walking around. No sweat. But tell me why was Tony brought to CTU if you weren’t going to share the information with him in the first place? Ohhhhh, so he could get stuck in the medical wing with Henderson.

Lynn’s Loophole Is Shown
Remember when I asked how Lynn got back into CTU without his access card? Yeah, I remember, too. But 24 was betting that none of you would remember. I’m not so sure how Lynn’s druggie sister and her boyfriend were so connected, but they sure did have the inside scoop on some major terrorist flow. But why did the LAPD just happen to go to the druggie apartment? No good reason... except to inform Lynn at CTU that his sister was dead, so he could tell Bill that his access card was stolen, so they knew CTU had been compromised, etc etc etc...

The Showdown: CTU Nerds vs. Terrorist Nerds
In what could be the biggest heavyweight bout of the year, let’s pit CTU’s technologies vs. the Terrorists’...

CTU has face-recognition software that can match a security camera picture (one received from a hospital in two minuets, or one obtained from their own internal cameras in OVER FIVE) to a database in less than 30 seconds.
Terrorists have guys who can tweak nerve gas canister timers AND drive to a hospital in less than ten minutes (not to mention arrive, get inside and dress like a nurse).
CTU has software that takes about a minute to pull up an agent’s record. And if that agent is deceased, if you wait about ten additional seconds, it will post digital photos of the dead body.
Terrorists have rule-breaking codes that allow them to use cell phones in radiology areas.
CTU has analysts that can hack into computers, but none that can get inside of an interlaced encryption key. That’s tough. But what exactly is an interlaced encryption key? Nobody knows.
Terrorists have guys who set timers for too long. Why not just set the canister to go off while you’re there? Die for your cause!
CTU has bomb squads that try to defuse nerve gas canisters with electrical magic wands. And when that doesn’t work, they do the next coolest thing... run through a hospital with the actual bomb.
Terrorists have guys that can hack into CTU. Not only that, but they can take access cards, read the information on it, change it, and use it to get into CTU.
CTU has a normal parking lot like any regular company in America.
Terrorists have switches on their nerve gas canisters marked "maximize casualties," used for maximizing casualties.

It’s a draw.

That Sneaky Terrorist: A Time Log
Entry 1 (00:00) – I broke into CTU, lucky they don’t have scanning procedures to get in... sheesh, I can’t even take my favorite knife on plane trips anymore... but I can bring nerve gas canisters into CTU!
Entry 2 (08:00) – It took me eight minutes to find the basement. I had to pee first, but I got some on my pants and the hand dryer was broken. Talk about embarrassing.
Entry 3 (17:00) – This is taking longer than I thought... I just now ran the command to find the schematics of CTU on my PDA and transferred it to the laptop that’s down here in the maintenance room (weird place for a computer, don’t you think?). There, ventilation all shut down.
Entry 4 (25:00) – Okay, I just set the timer on the gas canister. This should give me enough time to get out of here. Wait... okay, just stabbed a snooping nerd chick with my Rambo knife. Gotta jet.

Jack Learned "Everything" From Henderson
It’s his old boss, how couldn’t he have learned all he knows from him? Here are some things I bet Jack DIDN’T learn:

How to have a life at CTU and a wife at home... Jack’s been through, what, 4 girls on the show now?
Belay that last point, Jack never learned to NOT care for their wife (though he could’ve learned that from President Logan, too – is that a theme this season? To not care about your wife?).
Jack will never learn how to do this... Henderson somehow found out how to a) link a remote detonator to destroy a bomb AND wipe a hard drive clean, b) keep one socket open to transfer files to another computer, c) destroy a server room, yet maintain that socket on the hard-driveless computer. Wow.

Kim Is Finally Back
Nothing really interesting here. Except the boyfriend, who’s full name was said about five times. Think they’re trying to make us remember that?

Presidents, US, Russian and Alike...
Blah blah, terrorists attack, blah blah, no heightened security, blah blah, the Vice Pres shows up, blah blah, they’re still running the country with three people.

Lock, Stock and CTU It Down
I liked the locking down of CTU. Though it was pretty lame that Chloe was able to lock down three rooms (one for Jack and co., one for Lynn and one for the medical wing). And how "sad" was it when we watched Edgar kick the bucket (and not Chloe) and how lamer was it when there was no beeps to end the show. I’m sorry, but that evoked zero emotions from me except anger... if I wasn’t watching, how did I know the show was over!?!

Well, like I mentioned, we’re over half-way done with the season. Rejoice! More insanity coming up in the following 12 episodes, I’ll catalog it all right here.

More From The “Keeping It Real” File

2006-03-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

It sure is nice to find other sites that think 24 is a bit too unrealistic...

Jacktracker:
Follow Jack Bauer as he makes his way around Los Angeles (and the world) on Day 5 of 24, the hit Fox TV show. Updates and detailed episode information will be posted on Gridskipper, generally every Tuesday. Additional world-wide Waypoints, not in the general L.A. area, can be found under username bohan. All photos are linked to Flickr, where you will find detailed information about each photo, including arcane Los Angeles trivia, filming gaffes, and additional information about various shoots and locales.

24 Season 5: Episode 10 Recap(Hour 4:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.)

2006-02-27T20:03:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Well, I must say that tonight’s episode was probably the best of the season... and not a moment too soon. There is still a load of horse-pucky going on, but all in all, I was surprised with the outcome and appreciated the twists.

The Russian President’s Motorcade

The Good: It’s about time we have a car ride in Los Angeles takes more than 10 minutes! Granted, it was just for the sake of a silly plot point, but a LOT more realistic than usual.
The Bad: How can the press be surprised that the terrorists knew about the route of the motorcade? It was all over the news when it left! It probably wouldn’t take much for some very resourceful terrorists to figure something like that out.
The Ugly: First off, it’s nearly rush hour... where’s the traffic? Secondly, it’s nearly rush hour, where are all of the people downtown? Third, would the Russian President really be taking a motorcade and not a helicopter? Because I’m pretty damn sure they arrived to the summit by helicopter.

CTU Isn’t Lynn’s Baby Anymore

The Good: I liked the coup de tat, but I liked it better when I saw it on Crimson Tide.
The Bad: The ol’ "secret computer in the back of CTU that isn’t traceable," trick. Right. Or how about Lynn not taking the advice of his advisors? Is he trying to take a page out of President Logan’s book? Oh, wait, Logan doesn’t have ANY advisors.
The Ugly: Lynn flying off the handle and firing everyone in his path. Doesn’t he know that Edgar and Chloe are the only computer people he has? Also, the use of the word "real-time," again. We know... the show is in real-time!

President Logan and Mrs. Looney Tunes

The Good: The absurdity of the whole idea that Logan and his wife are arguing about killing the Russian President.
The Bad: Uhhh, what? Praying? Is it just me, or did this seem VERY out of context for any season of 24?
The Ugly: The fact that they can’t get off of this weak President story-line.

Christopher Henderson, the Ex-Boss

The Good: Did I hear Nina’s name??? And I was totally duped into thinking that he was really helping Jack. Nice.
The Bad: Weird, a former director of CTU that lost his job? Never heard that one.
The Ugly: How often do corporate Vice Presidents wait behind their door with a tazer-gun?

Coming up next week... two hours and the return of Kim Bauer and Tony!!! Ugh.

Where’s Kim and Tony? Plus other don’t-forget-these-story-lines!

2006-02-27T09:38:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

There’s nothing quite like being teased and prodded by the 24 plot-twisters over the course of a season. What’s worse is being teased and prodded for the first half. Tonight will be the tenth episode of the season and we’ve been dealing with the same story-lines for quite a while now, but it’s important to remember that we’re going to get a few more in the last 15 hours of the show.

The Return of Kim Bauer
In the most action that Kim has seen in almost two seasons, I think we’ve heard her name now approximately 13 times. We all knew the writers were just warming us up for her re-appearance. But how will she appear? Let’s see... how about she’s being held hostage by someone Jack is trying to kill. Maybe it’s the mountain lion that didn’t quite finish her off in season two.

Tony Finally Gets Out of Surgery, or Whatever
Waaaaaaaay back in episode one, Tony was taken to CTU’s medical wing (the one they have no reason to have except for plot twists). Since then, we’ve seen him in one episode – but he was still knocked out. You know he’s going to wake up soon, and give Jack a "key" bit of information. If so much trouble was went through to kill Palmer and Michelle, then why didn’t the assassin kill Tony when he had infiltrated CTU to kill Jack?

Diane and Derek, the Dynamic Duo
Well, these two just fell off the face of the Earth faster than anyone in 24 history. Which should send us a big signal. There was also a moment a few episodes back where CTU questioned how well Diane knew Jack (Frank). I think we’re being set up for yet another mole-story. Don’t count these two out just yet.

Who’s Afraid of the Spenser Wolff
In the tried-and-true mole-within-CTU storyline, Spenser actually came out sort of clean. Yes, he did bad things, but he thought he was being patriotic. Or was he? He’s still being held in CTU and not ushered of to some maximum security, so there must be some plot-twist that will involve him.

Chloe and Edger: The Odd Couple
How could we forget about the glaringly obvious love story that’s about to come to fruition? No, not Jack and Audrey (again). No, not Palmer and Sherry (reunited in the afterlife). We’re talkin’ Chloe and Edgar. Blech. My bet, one of them dies in the other’s arms by seasons end.

Can We Bring Back Nina, or Maybe Mandy
Two of 24’s best villains have been kept on the sideline so far this year. Here’s to hoping they’ll be brought back at some point.

24 Season 5: Episode 9 Recap(Hour 3:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.)

2006-02-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Looks like more and more people are becoming aggravated that I take time to write this blog. Again, let me re-state why I do this... 24 was a good show... when it first started. Great concept. Great plot. But somewhere along the line, more and more people got turned onto 24 and that’s when the plots, writing, etc. started to slip. It’s still a fun show, don’t get me wrong, but for a show that’s supposed to be based in reality, it falls short in way too many areas to fulfill that goal. For example...

Who’s The Bad Guy Now?
In, yet again, another over-used story-line, we viewers are taken on a wild goose chase to really figure out who the bad guy is. Once again, the bad guy we’ve been following for the past four episodes (in the least), was killed and another took his place. This one talks directly to President Logan, though, so maybe he’s the top dog. But I doubt it. Any bets on how many more "bosses" we get through this season?

CTU Needs An Overhaul
This is the Counter Terrorism Unit everyone, the last line of defense between America and terrorists... that’s why there’s been five different directors of CTU in five different seasons. That’s why they’re in meetings all day long during a major crisis. That’s why there’s only five people working at computers. That’s why it only takes one person to put Jack into custody (yet another over-used story-line) and bring him in.

Can you see where I’m going with this? This is a government agency and it’s no where near proficient. Just 18 months ago, they fake an agent’s death. Now he’s back and is a rogue agent operating under his own terms. There’s a Department of Defense agent doing whatever she wants in CTU, i.e., breaking protocol. Other agents break protocol whenever and however they want. I think that’s called treason and probably wouldn’t work out so well in the real world.

Think about it, no government outfit would stay in operation if this happened in real life. Hell, the director of FEMA was fired because he was writing silly emails during the aftermath of Katrina.

One more thing, how in hell did Lynn get back into CTU when his key card was stolen by his sister’s duggie boyfriend? Nevermind, don’t question that, we’re not supposed to think.

In The News
First off, I find it very weird that the terrorists are always watching the national news. Secondly, on a day where not only one, but two, terrorist activities (the nerve gas mall incident and, remember, the hijacking of an airport) have taken place, the news figures they will cover the boring peace treaty signing. Riiiiight. In reality, we cover the VP shooting a friend rather than Bush pimping alternative energy. Let me ask you this, would there really be "live" footage of a foreign leader leaving a summit? Answer, no.

Impeach Him Already
I’m growing tired of ragging on the "weak" Presidential figure in the show. Yes, we get it, he’s not a strong President like Palmer was. In the real world, no one this weak would ever get elected. And if he did, somehow, get elected, then his wife would’ve been out the door a LONG time ago. She’s a nut job.

What’s worse, the President doesn’t use his cabinet or staff. I mean, how could he, they’re not even in California with him. He hasn’t contacted a single one in D.C. (if that’s where they are) and he seems pretty content to make US-threatening decisions with just his main advisor and the (crazy) First Lady. No way in hell this works, especially on a day where his Chief of Staff KILLS HIMSELF! There’d be some major investigations going on.

That’s just a small sampling of a much larger list of errors on the show. I won’t even get into the nitpicky stuff, like how cell phones don’t get stolen by bums from a pay phone on an old abandoned street. Or how the only people that die on the show are the ones with the most important information. Or why all terrorists have huge "databases" of information at their disposal. Or how Jack can shoot down a helicopter with a 9MM... see where I’m going?

24 could be so much better, but it has to be based more in reality – things that can really happen. Stop hanging things over our head like we’re too stupid to know what’s going on. Write a better plot, make things real.

Several people have written in and said "who cares if it’s believable?" Huh? Seriously? I wouldn’t, if Jack was supposed to be some super-hero that could fly. But that’s not the case here. This is supposed to be believable. That’s why ER (used to be) and Grey’s Anatomy are so popular, because they’re realistic. That’s why The West Wing is believable, because it’s realistic. That’s why no one cared if The X-Files was believable, because it didn’t have to be realistic. Would anybody be surprised if Jack saved someone by performing heart surgery with his tongue? No... because apparently it’s not supposed to be believable.

And for the record, I’m not jealous of the creators of this show. The creators are awesome and made a truly unique concept. If anything, I commend them for such a cool idea. I never said I could write better than them, nor do I think I could. I just want a better show, is that too much to ask for?

24 Season 5: Episode 8 Recap(Hour 2:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.)

2006-02-13T19:28:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

We’re now eight episodes into the season and nothing has really happened. Here are my thoughts for this week.

Fox Hopes...

... that no one remembers last week’s episode when the terrorists wanted Rossler to set the place for the meeting, not the other way around.
... that no one questions why this country is being ran by the President, his wife and the chief of staff... and no one else.
... no one, even the people in the show, notice Jack’s ear piece – which is amazingly gone in all shots until they “remind” us that it’s there.
... that it’s really THAT simple of a task for Chloe to type on her keyboard for a few seconds and then exclaim, “I just got into the mall’s video survelence server.”
... someone can actually fit a nerve gas canister into a toolbox.
... that no one notices that all it took to stop the nerve gas was to rip some wires.
... that no one questions why the wires were already ripped when the terrorist broke into that car.
... I’ll stop writing this blog.

Why...

... is Jack always right? Don’t you tire of his way being the only way?
... doesn’t CTU grab whatever satellite images they need to trace where the blue van came from? In the past, CTU tracks vehicles extensively, how is this any different?
... must Fox reuse the President Puppet storyline every week? WE GET IT ALREADY!
... can’t CTU finally get rid of their cliche black SUVs?
... can’t I get good cell phone reception like the guys on 24? I go to the back of target and I can barely talk to anyone.
... do terrorists insist on being next to people when shooting them? A shot from several feet away is just as effective as one a foot away.
... did Fox have to insinuate that only women go to the mall?
... do I watch this show?

How Can...

... Lynn just walk into CTU without anyone noticing his busted ass lip (in what is this year’s worst side storyline – are these limited to directors of CTU?)
... the timing on this show get any worse? It takes the First Lady over a half hour to write a press release, and only five minutes for Mike.
... the President NOT be reached on the phone for something as important as nerve gas being released in a public place?
... the one security guy watching surveillance NOT know that someone just walked in behind him?
... you not laugh when the terrorist said, “I’m going to put you on speakerphone?”
... I make it through another 16 episodes?

24 Season 5: Episode 7 Recap(Hour 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m.)

2006-02-06T21:14:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Coming Soon to a Best Buy Near You!
Each year, the list of innovative and impressive software at CTU grows. In just one episode, we get the wonderful workings of:

Super Phone Trace 2.4: This software not only picks up and records any phone call CTU might want (because it’s easy to pinpoint almost any phone call), but then it does voice recognition, too. Question... if that software did that, why did Jack and Curtis have to infiltrate the building to catch that dude? Couldn’t they have just listened to all of the phone calls?
Over-Used Technology Number One: Helicopter-proof cell phones.
Over-Used Technology Number Two: LA-based teleportation
Hacker Skills: It took Spencer two minutes, if that, to hack into the system. If you can’t remember who Spencer is, he’s the one that’s currently in trouble for being the CTU mole... but there was NO ONE else who could hack into this ultra mega secure system. If he’s so good, then why can he only knock cameras out for 60 seconds? Why not cut the power to the entire building?
Candy People Tracking: We’ve seen this software already this year... but again I ask, how do you track a single person AND know who they are? Plus, why do they look like green skittles?

All (two of) the President’s Men
Ah, there’s nothing like trying to send your crazy wife to the nut-house that’ll bring your marriage back together. Not only that, but since you’re missing the Chief of Staff (because he killed himself, since this mega-treasonist person was left in a room by himself... but you know, they’re way understaffed... one more thing, would a sprinkler hold that weight?), why not make her your chief advisor over Mike? Done. Idiot viewer alert!!! “Mike, are you implying a cover-up?”

Trumped Tower
The super secure, proprietary software, tower that Spencer hacked into (in two minutes) was staffed with three guards. Three. And one of them gave us the best acting on 24 all season... too bad Jack had to give him a cheap shot in the elevator. In previous season’s, it took a pardon from the President. Now, it only takes one from the Attorney General, and again it takes a matter of two minutes to get one. Uh-huh.

The “15 year-old”
Jack’s motto for the past four seasons has been, “I don’t trust anyone.” Except this “15 year-old” gal that he found in the tower. In about four, or five, moments where I thought was going to kiss this girl, I figured something very important out... SHE HAS THE CHIP INSIDE HER!!! Or not. If you had been missing for 19 months, would you still be in the same area as the man who kidnapped you? And there’s no way the agents would “hold their fire,” if she was shooting a gun... she’d be dead, too.

The Chop Shoppe
What a find! Someone who can cut into the canisters for you (but not TOO far, or you’ll all die)! And he’s quick, too. Well, by quick I mean he takes 20 minutes cutting the first one open, but then finishes the other 20+ canisters in five minutes. Not too shabby. Plus he’s stupid, as if he’s going to live.

Kim Where Art Thou?
So are you still wondering if Kim is coming back or not? Her name was said like 14 times tonight. And now Audrey has to be the one who calls her. Just let Jack do it, because that’s what we need... another side story... like the evil druggie sister! Yeah, that’s a good one!

Next Week!
Jack catches a break and becomes a bad guy once again! Will he take up heroin again? Will the terrorist never learn who Jack is, even though he probably saw him at the airport? Will Kim run around in a tight shirt? Who cares!!!

24 Season 5: Episode 6 Recap(Hour 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m.)

2006-01-30T19:52:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Things are quickly becoming unrealistic on 24, big shocker. It progressively gets worse every week and the situations we find the main characters in on the show are just absurd and bogus. I want a fast-paced show just like the next guy, but I want my show and its facts based in reality, not some made up world where it’s okay to stretch the truth to better fit your story.

Hide and Stink
Okay, I’ve beaten this point into the ground already this year, but it makes no sense that this administration only has two cabinet members and a handful of security running around the complex. The only time a new character is introduced is to help the plot move along. In reality, there would be staffers and security running around everywhere... not to mention White House appointed members of the press.

So aside from this lack of security IN the building, I have to mention the lack of security OUTSIDE the building. When someone, anyone, can break out of the White House (or some lame ranch in California as the case may be), the entire security needs a great deal of looking over. Not only did the First Lady get out of the house, she managed to go across the grounds of the complex and hide in the stables... behind a saddle (nice hiding, by the way).

If Aaron is head of security, how is it that a) he can’t prevent the other agents from taking the First Lady, and, b) why isn’t he informed of Jack Bauer’s detainment? Who knows, but if you think about the true lack of security on the complex, it’s no wonder he had such an easy time “sneaking” Jack in to see the President.

But again, realistically, there’s no chance in hell that Jack drives an SUV within 20 miles of the Presidential compound, especially on a day like this. And riddle me one more thing... where did the helicopter and 5 SUVs full of secret service come from if they’re no where to be found inside the complex?

There’s No Time For That!
So Cummings was the mole, okay, fine. But there’s no way that he could fulfill his day-to-day duties and help masterfully plan out this “terrorist” attack. Remember, he also was the guy who somehow had time to overdub Palmer’s phone conversation with the First Lady (which is still absolute crap). This guy is the Chief of Staff, one of the busiest people employed by the President... but I guess when you get down to it, he apparently only overlooks himself and Mike... so maybe he does have time to be a bad guy.

But then Cummings goes and tells the President his secret. And what does the President do? The usual, he stands there and looks like a complete idiot. If anyone in the President’s staff were to unload on the President like Cummings did, they’d be handcuffed and gagged within 10 seconds, if not shot.

And while on the subject of there not being enough time, how does everyone somehow get involved in a love triangle on a day like this? I think personal feelings can be delayed for about a day when the entire CTU is looking for some terrorists and nerve gas.

CTU Needs A Re-Org
Jack’s little mini-interrogation of Cummings was pretty sweet... and to be perfectly honest, probably expected by a rogue agent. Which begs the question, how does CTU, for the fifth time, get themselves so backed into a corner in these situations that they have to completely bend/break the rules in order to get out of it. Funny how it always involves Jack. What have they done for fun the past 18 months? And tell me why you would think to NOT disregard an order directly from the President, but find it just fine to send Jack (a non-CTU agent) into the field for you.

If it were to all be summed up in one quote, I think this is the quote I’d choose: “If we’re not doing everything in our power to stop the terrorists, we’re not doing our job.” Well done, seeing as you work at the Counter Terrorism Unit, stopping terrorists WOULD be your job, now wouldn’t it?

Like I said, this season is already starting to drag on and is becoming incredulous... and there’s still 18 hours to go. When does Kim come back? I need a real laugh.

24 Season 5: Kim Bauer Returns!?!

2006-01-24T08:01:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Doing a little investigation here turned up some potential crappy news. I think I’m imagining the fact that Kim Bauer’s name was mentioned in one of the shows this season, but I’m pretty sure it was. And for good reason, too. They didn’t mention Kim all of last season and she didn’t appear in the show. This year, they mention her... and look what appears on Elisha Cuthbert’s IMDB page:

Notable TV Guest Appearances
1. “24” playing “Kim Bauer” in episode: “Day 5: 4:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m.” (episode # 5.10) 27 February 2006
2. “24” playing “Kim Bauer” in episode: “Day 5: 3:00 p.m.-4:00 p.m.” (episode # 5.9) 20 February 2006
3. “24” playing “Kim Bauer” in episode: “Day 5: 2:00 p.m.-3:00 p.m.” (episode # 5.8) 13 February 2006
4. “24” playing “Kim Bauer” in episode: “Day 5: 1:00 p.m.-2:00 p.m.” (episode # 5.7) 6 February 2006

Here we go again... I hereby create the Derek vs. Kim challenge on who can get kidnapped first. Ooooh, maybe they’ll kiss and make things SUPER creepy for us all.

24 Season 5: Episode 5 Recap(Hour 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.)

2006-01-23T20:40:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Another week, another hour, another set of regurgitated story-lines. But don’t let that ruin anything, because there might be a silver lining in there somewhere. I think that things could turn a nice and sharp corner soon, but I’m not counting on it.

Escape From the Airport? The Nerve!

That nerve gas was sure extremely dangerous to open, hence the gas mask apperatuses... but once there was no danger, they remove the masks and just carry the canisters around like it’s no big deal.
How are the terrorists going to drive the nerve gas out of there??? Oooooh, because their van says, “Police Department SWAT” on it. Good to know exactly who they are and what city they work for. Be careful on the highway and don’t run into any “Flower Delivery Vans” or “Fire Trucks.”
Hanger BB was “outside the secure permimeter.” If this follows any type of action plans we take against terrorists, I’m sure that all of the budding terrorists out there are happy to know that when/if they take over an airport, the police will leave certain sectors unsearched and unprotected.
What’s in these hangars? Nothing too important, apparently, since the doors are secured with one padlock. And if what they said is true, about the US hiding different toxic gases around different airport bunkers, then a) this one would’ve been cataloged and known about, and, b) there’d be more than a simple padlock on the door.
Hmmm, need to look for clues... whoa, dead rats! Guess those canisters weren’t so sealed after all.

The Dysfunctional First Family

President Logan asks, “when did this happen?” Hmmm, well, let’s see... PROBABLY SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU SAW HER! But the real answer is that no one knows, since there’s only about six people running around there. And since when did the First Lady’s hair stylist personal assistant become her body guard, too?
I like it when President Logan takes action... “close that door!” is such a manly thing to order.
So President Logan doesn’t listen to his advisors when they’re talking about a matter of International Security. Ironically, though, he takes marriage advice and decides to send his wife away to the loony bin.
Why is it so damn important to talk to Tony? What the hell will he possibly tell you? Oh, I know! “Jack, I was almost blown up!”
What!?! The First Lady just up and went out a damn window!?! Is it bad that I said, “I hope she’s dead,” when we didn’t know where she was for about ten seconds? And just how does anyone leave the house that the President is at? That is some great perimeter security.

CT-Peeeee-EW

Of all the protocols that CTU must follow day in and day out, on a day like this they allow Audrey, a non-CTU agent, to question people?
“A lot of people thought you were dead, until today.” Yeah, he knows... wait, wasn’t it ALL of them?
Why is it that the moles always hang out in the back rooms? And if you ever need to know, this is what you type in to figure out what people were looking at on a computer right before you, “Recall Last Command.”
Those are some pretty thorough guards... menacing, too. I’d say that on a day like today, no one gets into CTU without being searched extensively. Think of CTU’s track record over the past five years... yikes.
“It could take us months to figure out who the mole is in Logan’s administration, there are hundreds of staff members.” ... “wait, now that I think of it, there are only two that are in this story.”

Why Break From Habit?

Oft-used story-line #1: A mole inside the White House
Oft-used story-line #2: A mole inside CTU
Oft-used story-line #3: Love Triangle(s)
Oft-used story-line #4: Can’t talk to hurt person until they’re better
Oft-used story-line #5: Idiot teenager gets in way
Oft-used story-line #6: Personal issues muddy up busiest day of life

Randomness...

Where is the Vice President?
Where is Jack’s grave?
Nice to have the moles exposed so quickly in the season.
The fight scene was kick ass! But now we have to live with broken ribs, and probably some other medical drama, for Jack the rest of the season. Foreshadow alert!

24 Season 5: Episodes 3 & 4 Recap(Hours 9:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m.)

2006-01-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Sheesh, double episodes kill me...

Let’s see, when we last left the world of 24, President Logan was insisting on the continuation of hosting the Russian government against all of the advice that he shouldn’t. Even an assassination of a former President couldn’t sway him. Nor could the fact that Jack Bauer was on the loose and potentially trying to kill as many important people as he could. Then, out of nowhere, the airport that Jack was at (looking for a piece of the mystery surrounding his assassination setup) was overtaken by terrorists! The good news, Jack is trapped inside... the bad news, so is Derek:

Jack and His Super Bag of Goodies!

I figured out how Jack has a nice new cell phone (a cell phone that has every personal CTU agent’s phone number), he has some sponsorship with Sprint!
In addition to the city-wide teleportation abilities that Jack has shown us over the past few seasons, he can also type in an email address in two seconds. An email address, mind you, to send CTU an email of terrorist photos. And now they’re going to send him data back to his phone. HIS PHONE! Buy Palm stock now!
Jack’s vision and/or math skills are a bit wacky... “approximately 10-12 hostages” looks more like 24ish.
David Blane: Jack Bauer: Street Magic – Watch as Jack blows up a remote with his cell phone! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Wouldn’t that blow up all of the terrorists’ vests? Well, no, probably not, he just pointed his wand at the one he wanted to blow up. Or maybe the terrorists spent money on getting different remotes for everyone – yeah, that makes more sense.
Jack is now a seen as a postitive statistic inside CTU... without him, success for the entire human race is 20%.
How many other cool things does Jack have in his bag? Aside from two cell phones (one for calling and one for emailing), he’s got guns, a car-jacking tool, a telescope and probably some Bert’s Bees Wax.
Remember, Jack hasn’t been cleared of assassination charges yet, but we don’t see the importance of handcuffing him. I mean, he only allegedly killed a former President and two CTU agents.

CTU (and Their Technology) Rocks, Sometimes...

I’m not sure what I’d do with it, but I need some of those face-scanning programs... you know, the ones where they can take a photo of an angled face and match it to a gigantic database of terrorist mug shots. If they’ve got mug-shots of that many terrorists, why not just jail them all up instead of just photographing them? Problem solved.
My God... the CTU computers and their databases are absolutely amazing, did you see all of the photos of remote detonators they had on file? If these things really existed, we really would have zero terrorists in this world. I mean, we’re talking some real “Minority Report” type shit here, people!
Why is it every season of 24 there’s a change in the chain of command at CTU? If that government unit is in such constant turmoil, you’d think that they’d have some type of stable leader or dissolve it all together.
Speaking of a new leader at CTU, it’s one that micro-manages? Jeez, talk about recycled story-lines (crazy first lady, a mole, new micro-managing leader at CTU, multiple love triangles, etc.)
Let me get this straight, CTU can pinpoint and track people in “real-time” movements from the garage of a hotel, yet you can’t use computers, or satellites, to track where terrorists and hostages are inside a one-story airport terminal? What about those nifty infrared satellites you had last season 18 months ago? Plus, why will it take 20 minutes to re-deploy men around a 10,000 square foot (at most) building? Oh, that’s right, it doesn’t... because when you had to quickly re-deploy your men again, it took two.

Rookie Terrorists

The blood on the shirt of the idiot hostage (the one that tried to use his cell phone) spread awfully far, awfully quick. Blood doesn’t flow that quickly out of a singular bullet wound, nor when the dude is laying on his back. But, we can’t discount their flare for the dramatic.
How did the terrorist have the phone number to a specific policeman on the scene? Speaking of police, no one from a police unit would be running the operation at an airport. It would be the FBI, or some other government agency, doing that (haven’t they ever seen “Die Hard 2?”)
The terrorists spray-painted the security cameras and not only did the terrorists have the number to the policeman outside the airport, they also had the number to the television networks, and the means to broadcast a live feed.
“The terrorists have taken control of an entire airport!” Translation: One terminal and a concession stand – a concession stand, mind you, that has blue and red plastic Dixie Cups.
No chance the terrorists would be standing in the main terminal in front of giant windows. They would’ve been shot long ago.
“The President has 15 minutes to meet our demands. Well, minus 5 for a commercial break and 2 for the meaningless dribble that Jack just spout out... so really, the President has 8 minutes! Wait, I forgot that we don’t count commercial breaks... so back to 13 minutes! You got that!?! 13!!! ”
How do we stop people coordinating by cell phones? Ah the old cell phone jamming software, duh.
Why just secure Jack? Why not just kill him? No one wants him alive!!!
Keep your head down, you filthy hostages... except for you, yeah, you... the one who’s not really a hostage! In fact, leave it up for a while, so the audience knows what you look like!
How does a hostage just get out of the building and through a locked-down airport? Through the back door, that’s how.

The Californian White House and Schtuff

How exactly do you “alter” a voice recording? If we ever hear the original, and President Palmer never said anything like what we heard in episode two, then we know that “alter” really means “bs.”
The networks are under no legal obligation to comply with the President’s demands? I’m sure there’s some clause somewhere that says he can do whatever he wants (the clause that says he can ignore his own rule that America doesn’t torture suspects anymore comes to mind).
Now the First Lady’s hair stylist personal assistant has forgotten that the First Lady is supposed to be crazy and just might believe her now.
Where exactly would the First Lady be going? Everyone would be in a gigantic lockdown right now. That means no press, at least more than two cabinet members, and they would all be flying somewhere in the air – and if not in the air, there would be guards everywhere, so that nobody would be walking around alone, or anywhere for that matter.
They store all transcribed conversations at a house in California? That’s convenient. And, just how many boxes does the First Lady have to go through? Wasn’t the call made last night?
What is this, blame the First Lady’s hair stylist personal assistant day? First she’ll take blame for letting the First Lady out. Then she’ll take the blame for the First Lady stealing information that could be an International Matter of Security. Poor girl.

So everyone knows, the catch-phrase of 24 this season is “real-time updates.” But I guess nothing, absolutely nothing, has happened to Tony in the past three+ hours, since we’ve heard no updates.

Coming up next week: Nerve Gas!!! I hope I have the nerve.