24 Season 5: Julian Sands, Peter Weller and JoBeth Williams Join Cast

The latest news from The 24 Insider reports (WARNING: Potential Spoiler Alert):

Julian Sands (“A Room with a View”), Peter Weller (“RoboCop”) and Oscar, Golden Globe and Emmy-nominated actress JoBeth Williams (“Poltergeist” and “The Big Chill”) join 24. British born actor Julian Sands will play billionaire bad guy “Vladamir Bierko” while Peter Weller portrays “Christopher Henderson,” the federal agent who recruited Jack to counter terrorist work more than a decade ago. JoBeth Williams is Henderson’s wife, Miriam. All three characters will come face-to-face with Jack.

Family reunion time... of sorts! Man, oh man, will that be exciting... and by exciting, I mean to see RoboCop again!

So what could potential plot lines be regarding Mr. Henderson, aka, TMTRJ (the man that recruited Jack)... hmmmmm.

• Hide and Seek theory
  Henderson and wife get kidnapped, forcing Jack out of hiding.
• Reverse Psychology theory
  Henderson gets called in to try and talk Jack out of doing something that will severely breach protocol.
• Trading Places theory
  Henderson is called in to run CTU and allows Jack to do whatever the hell he wants to stop the day’s threat.
• Flashback theory
  Henderson dies early in the season and is shown in flashbacks to Jack’s training.
• Scooby-Doo theory
  Henderson is revealed to be the true conspirator behind every season’s plot, but Jack, (hired because Henderson thought him stupid) really is too good and spoils Henderson’s plans.
• Darth Vader theory
  Henderson confronts Jack and tells him that he is Kim’s father, not Jack.

Or... who cares? We’ll quickly find out if throwing all these new (sometimes established) names into the fire will work out. My gut says no. My gallbladder doesn’t say anything, since I have none.

24 Season 5: The Teaser

No spoilers in this post, unless you consider the teaser footage to be spoilers.

The peeps over at Kiefer-Rocks.com have posted the Season Five teaser that aired during last night’s World Series game. You can check it out by going to their news page.

My initial reactions to the teaser?

So far, so good... it was a true teaser in the sense that we don’t see any plot points, just glimpses of what’s to come. The fire-shielding effects look particularly great. And the whole season, from the looks of the trailer, seems to be much more cinematic in nature. Which is a good thing.

So far, the bad... we’re still getting served the fancy looking, high-techish, non-existant satellite computer crap. Okay, it’s a tv show, whatever. Also, Jack’s cell phone is working in the middle of the desert. Amazing. Also, did you notice that Jack didn’t really look like Jack anymore? He’s change his appearance because he’s in hiding. And by appearance, I mean haircut.

Get ready for another season of Jack running around, pointing guns at people and screaming. I’ll be here with a recap for every episode.

24 Season 5: The Tony and Michelle Show

The latest news from The 24 Insider reports (WARNING: Potential Spoiler Alert):

Tony and Michelle are at home in a cozy West Valley neighborhood. They have plans for a business meeting but those plans are quickly scrapped once they learn of a drastic situation. Michelle thinks that they should head over to CTU to help out but Tony doesn’t want to go and he thinks they would just be getting in the way of the investigation. Michelle evaluates the severity of the incident and she decides the business meeting is irrelevant and that she needs to offer her services to CTU. Tony eventually agrees and they prepare to head off to CTU Los Angeles.

Awww, how cute. Just what the rabid 24 fans are wanting – a love story that takes up approximately 6 hours of our day. The on-again, off-again, saga of Michelle and Tony is boring. The on-again, off-again, saga of Michelle and Tony is boring. Yes, I just said that twice, in an attempt to spice things up a bit. It didn’t work, though, they’re just THAT boring.

It’s not just Tony and Michelle’s love story that I’m tired of, it’s any notion of there being a love story in this show at all. There is no place on this show for a love story. None. Need I remind the writers that this story takes place in one day? I would tend to think that any relationship issues would take a major back seat to whatever TERRORIST activity is occuring in the United States.

Much less, a character like Jack probably wouldn’t ever date anyone. Hell, the man has been dead twice now, what’s the point?

Another issue is dating in the work place in general. Everywhere I’ve ever worked, it’s very frowned upon to date co-workers. And even if you feel like you must, you’re supposed to let HR know. But it’s very apparent, with the quality of employees that CTU hires (several traitors and idiots, alike), that the HR department isn’t that great. What’s more, if HR IS notified and two co-workers are dating, then one would probably be moved within the division elsewhere. The workplace doesn’t need any added drama from home, unless you’re 24.

Tony, Michelle, stay at home or go to your “business meeting” (whatever the hell that means). And whatever you do, don’t go into CTU and don’t drive a Cadillac.

24 Season 5: Edgar Encrypted

The latest news from The 24 Insider reports (WARNING: Potential Spoiler Alert):

An encrypted book which is still being written on the computer of a former high ranking government official will play a huge role in the early stages of season five.

This is good news for Edgar fans, it essentially says that he has been written into the plot for season five. Not that we didn’t think he’d be around, because we knew he would, but now there’s a whole level of nerdiness that can occur thanks to this secret “encrypted” book.

And if that news wasn’t enough...

Arizona Senator John McCain will appear in an upcoming episode.
Source - www.sfgate.com

Great. How exciting. The writers REALLY know how to keep us (anti-)fans happy.

24 Season 5: The Beggining of a Long Season?

From my faithful source over at The 24 Insider (WARNING: Potential Spoiler Alert):

The new season has Jack settling in Bakersfield, California, and working on an oil rig, it’s a far cry from his secret past. He falls in love with a mysterious woman (Connie Britton) and everything seems just fine. But true to “24”, his life doesn’t stay peaceful for very long. The woman’s son, played by Brady Corbett, becomes suspicious of Jack’s past and begins asking too many questions. Suddenly Jack’s cover explodes. The Chinese government quickly finds out about him and everyone is in danger. One of the major characters will be killed off on the first three episodes! Fox is closely guarding the identity of the victim – but the writers are promising the death will be totally unexpected and will shock even 24’s most seasoned fans. The buzz is that former President David Palmer... is the victim. But on 24 anything can happen and anyone can be a target.
Source - The Globe (September 5th issue page 66)

Seriously, with all the hype that they’re giving to season five, is it really going to be all that surprising when some major character bites the dust? No. You’re ruining it for viewers already! Why do you even have to tease that? You’re 24, you don’t have to tease anything!

But really, if it IS Palmer, then you’re potentially shooting yourself in the foot because he’s one of the best things that show still has to offer.

I’m telling you, if you want shock value, kill Jack Bauer. THEN you’d have a nice little chaotic series on your hands.

24 Season 5: Chloe and Edgar News

From my faithful source over at The 24 Insider (WARNING: Potential Spoiler Alert):

Mary Lynn Rajskub hinted that “something’s brewing this year” between Chloe and Edgar. But sadly, that something is probably not a red-hot affair. “You want that to happen so bad,” she teased me. “You want [a Chloe-Edgar] love scene so bad.” You will see Tony and Michelle in the season premiere.
Source - TvGuide.com

Oh... she’s got us pegged. It’s what everyone, EVERYONE, wants to see – a hot, torrid, love affair invloving a momma’s boy nerd and the world’s biggest know-it-all that scowls for 24 hours a day. We SO know who would wear the pants in that relationship... yes, the one who shot a semi-automatic weapon last season when she was sent with ONE AGENT as protection to retrieve a very essential hard drive.

And how exactly do you work in a love scene into the show? They’ve tried the past few seasons and they all seem very forced. This day, and the other four crazy days you’ve had, is the most important day in US history, keep it in your pants.

Oooo, don’t forget that other JUICY tidbit of information – we’ll see Tony and Michelle in the season premiere... getting blown to pieces in their brand new, super strong-tired, Cadillac.

24 Season 4 Wins Three Emmys

The 2005 Emmys were awarded last night. Let’s take a look back at what I predicted:

My predictions for this year’s Emmys... I think Kiefer will get snubbed once again and so will 24 as Outstanding Drama, both losing to Deadwood. They may pick up a few Emmys for Sound/Picture Editing. But there’s no way in hell they win for Casting this year.

So how did they do?

Season 4: 2005 Emmys

• Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Cinematography for a Single-Camera Series
• Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
• Nominated (three times): Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
• Winner: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
• Winner: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
• Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Booyah.

24: The Game

It was only a matter of time before this happened. I’m actually surprised that this wasn’t made a long time ago, but it makes perfect sense and should generate some sales from the real die-hard fans. That’s right, feast your eyes on 24: The Game.

Here’s the official game synopsis from IGN:

Based on the action-packed television series, 24: The Game is set between seasons two and three of the TV show and provides the answers to several unanswered questions: Who was really behind the assassination attempt on President Palmer? How did Kim Bauer get a job in the L.A. CTU? How did Jack Bauer and Chase Edmunds first start working together? Penned by 24 episode writer Duppy Demetrius and voiced by stars Kiefer Sutherland, Carlos Bernard, and Kiefer Sutherland, 24 boasts more than 100 missions told through several branching subplots. Gameplay includes on-foot sections (with shooting, stealth, puzzles, and sniping), driving sequences, interrogations, and technical challenges. The game even uses the unique visual style of the television show with multi-panel windows showing concurrent plot developments.

Booyah. Imagine playing a game of 24! You could actually waste more than 24 hours!!!

But let’s take a look at the REAL synopsis that they didn’t want you to read...

Based on the action-packed television series, 24: The Game is set between seasons two and three of the TV show and provides the answers to several unanswered questions: Who was really behind the assassination attempt on President Palmer? (Uh... it was sexy Mandy! We know you really don’t care otherwise. Just give the fanboys more Mandy, right!?!) How did Kim Bauer get a job in the L.A. CTU? (By sleeping with Jack? To give us shitty storylines to explore? So Elisha Cuthbert could cut her hair? We needed an excuse to bring the Mountain Lion back? You tell us!) How did Jack Bauer and Chase Edmunds first start working together? (Do you need a video game to answer this? Chase got hired at CTU and was assigned to Jack. Sorry if this spoiled a big part of the game, sucker.) Penned by 24 episode writer Duppy Demetrius (So expect crappy dialogue, did you see the game trailer?) and voiced by stars Kiefer Sutherland, Carlos Bernard, and Kiefer Sutherland (Yes, Kiefer did voice it twice!), 24 boasts more than 100 missions told through several branching subplots. Gameplay includes on-foot sections (with shooting, stealth, puzzles, two-handed gun toting, running while toting a gun two-handed and sniping), driving sequences, interrogations (Yeah baby! Kill ’em!), how to teleport in the city, not eat an entire day when becoming addicted to heroin, using fancy technological terms incorrectly and technical challenges. The game even uses the unique visual style of the television show with multi-panel windows showing concurrent plot developments. Only idiots will buy this game. Well, idiot PS2 owners, since we couldn’t get Nintendo and/or Microsoft to pick this game up. But you’ll like it and you’ll think you’re smarter than the people who haven’t seen the cool in-between story!

24 Season 5: Bring on the Russians?

Some interesting news out of The 24 Insider today:

Actress Kathleen Gati has joined the cast as the Russian First Lady.

That’s right, Russian first lady.

Are we being set up for a good ol’ America vs Russia conflict? We took on the old communist regime, China, last season... so why not another former communist regime?

It couldn’t be the other way around... everyone in the whole world knows that Americans and Russians just don’t get along... unless we’re talking about Yakov, Spies Like Us or trapped submariners.

I wonder how good these Russian accents will be.

24 Season 5: Sean Astin Joins Cast

Well this could be a good thing for the show, for once. Variety is reporting that "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy star Sean Astin is joining the cast of Fox's 24. Word on the street is that he'll be working for CTU, but anything else about his character is unknown at the present time.

Also, here's the latest blurb from The 24 Insider (Spoiler alert):

Episode: 5.1 & 5.2
Airdate: January 8th, 2006
Airtime: 8:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

In 24 time, Season 5 will pick up 18 months later, with hero Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland), having faked his death, now living with Diane (Britton) and her son, Derek (Corbet), as the latest national security threat materializes. Jean Smart will play First Lady Martha Logan. A shaky President Logan (Gregory Itzin) is back, as are CTU chief Bill Buchanan (James Morrison) and key operatives Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub), Edgar (Louis Lombardi) and Curtis (Roger Cross). Tony (Carlos Bernard) and Audrey (Kim Raver), Jack's last love interest, also will be featured. As with the fourth season, 24 will begin with a two-night, four-hour premiere on Jan. 8 and 9 (8 p.m. ET/PT) before moving to its regular Monday time slot on Jan. 16 (9 p.m. ET/PT), with no reruns or pre-emptions scheduled until the May finale. Also, Sean Astin will be a series regular and Variety reports he'll be working for CTU.

Sean Astin, good actor, but in the overall feel of things, big freakin' whoop. Dude can play an underdog football player and a damn good hobbit, but I seriously hope his acting skills are completely overlooked because of 24's lameness. Guess we'll find out in January.

24 Season 5: This Doesn't Look Right

WARNING: Of course this post contains spoilers.

There's been a serious lack of new news about 24 lately, but I did notice that some behind-the-scenes pictures have shown up on the internet. Not too many interesting pictures, except for the three of the car.

Let me explain the situation... the writers of the show want to bring the shock value (not shocking as in how they interrogate ALL of their captives – with electricity – that remains at an all-time high) of the first few seasons back into season five (remember the plane exploding, good... remember the stealth bomber, bad). So early in the season, some well-known characters are gonna bite the dust from a car bomb. I can only assume that the picture is showing us the car, post-explosion.

Looks cool, doesn't it? I think so... whoever is going to be in that car, the police are going to have to pick up pieces of their body from all over. Not to mention all the pieces of the car they'll have to clean up. Lucky for them, the tires nor the hubcaps were messed up. Those bombers, so very precise they are.

24 Season 5: Enlisting Comedic Actors To Help Show

So the latest and greatest from the 24 camp is a slew of casting news. Here's what we know (Warning, potential spoilers):

Taken from http://www.24spoilers.tvheaven.com/

– Jean Smart, who won two Emmys for guesting on "Frasier," will play the wife of President Logan.
– Connie Britton, best known for her work on "Spin City," is set to play Sutherland's love interest.
– Brady Corbet will play the son of Britton's character and is expected to have a strong connection to Sutherland's character early on in the season.

That's two ladies who are best known for their comedic roles on popular sitcoms, and a teen that's been in "Thirteen" and made appearances on three sitcoms... does it get any more ironic than that? Granted, Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe) has been on Mr. Show and other comedies, but that's Chloe.

In other news about how season five will begin...

Taken from http://www.24spoilers.tvheaven.com/

The writers want to bring back 24's shock value and they plan on killing off several series regulars right off the bat. I've been hearing that the original plan was to kill off at least two series regulars within the first few opening minutes of the premiere (The assassinations have a direct connection to Jack). Somehow elements within the United States Government and possibly the Chinese Government discover that Jack is still alive and they know his suspicious death was an elaborate hoax. (The season five DVD exclusive prequel will will likely deal with how they know Jack's alive.) In order to suppress the diplomatic damage, Jack Bauer and all of the people who know he's alive are being hunted down and killed, one by one. The season takes place well after Jack fled the U.S. and it's impossible to know exactly who knows that Jack's still alive. We all know Tony, Michelle and Chloe know but the people erasing Jack may think others close to Jack know. Audrey, Kim and even Secretary Heller may be targeted for assassination.

Know what? That's fine. Kill them all. Except Palmer. I'd even go for Jack being offed, now THAT would really bring the shock value back to the show.

24 Season 5: the latest...

Potential spoiler alert!!!

Taken from http://www.24spoilers.tvheaven.com/

First off, I have no idea how Bakersfield, California will fit into anything, I am being brutally honest about that. It makes absolutely no sense with the information I have. The casting notice for Craig Huxley is adamant about him living in Bakersfield but I truthfully have nothing to corroborate that. My information begins somewhere overseas, the information doesn't specify a country. We begin with Jack at an airport where he is waiting for somebody to land. Hmm... Who could it be ? The airplane he's been waiting for lands and his contact exits the plane. This contact is Jack's only connection to his past and it's one of the only people he can trust. The contact is Chloe O'Brian. I guess Chloe sneaks out of Los Angeles every once in awhile and covertly meets with Jack to give him updates on Kim and other people from his past. She takes every precaution possible because she knows what the consequences will be. So Chloe meets up with Jack and they talk for awhile about Chase and Kim and Chase's daughter. (I also heard something about surveillance photos) Anyways, they finish up and Chloe has to hurry and get back on a plane to L.A. Jack thanks her for doing what she's doing and they part ways.

Jack walks through the airport and he starts to head back to his apartment. Jack's plans of laying low and avoiding the spotlight come to a screeching halt when he spots an international terrorist. Jack knows that the terrorist is a bomb-maker and he knows that something big must be going down. So Jack follows the guy and right about here is where the information I have dies off. The terrorist is in the process of carrying out an attack and I've heard that the target is either the airport or a nearby Embassy. Jack makes his move and captures the man and begins to question him. I don't know what the two say to each other and I don't if Jack will be able to stop the terrorist attack in time. Surveillance footage of the bomber would be analyzed and it's likely that the tapes are reviewed by the intelligence community and this is how the U.S. Government learns that Jack is still alive.

Chloe, incognito???
Please. Easily the most annoying character on the show and no one notices her taking these sneaky trips to see Jack? You know she's gonna say something derrogatory or demeaning to someone during the trip.

Jack is still in the country... living in an apartment...
How about you leave the damn country, fool? Being out of the country is much safer for you and the government than staying there. How about some remote island? And why the freak is he walking around in an Airport? With the way security is today, that's the last place I'd go if I were in hiding.

Please don't bring Kim back!
We've had a nice season of rest from her, there's no reason to bring her back into the loop. But, if you do, kill her.

Jack spots an international terrorist...
Then quickly follows and captures him... and then what? Yup! You guessed it! He captures him and probably tortures him. Riiiiight where we left off from last season, more tortures. Classy TV.

24 Season 4: Nominated 11 Times

Today the Emmy Nominations were announced. Looking down the list, you'll notice that 24 has been nominated twice, once for Outstanding Drama and again for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama (Kiefer). That makes it four years in a row that the show has been nominated for those two awards. That's impressive. Let's take a look at the nominations for 24 over the past four years:

Season 1: 2002 Emmys

• Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
• Winner: Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Art Direction for a Single Camera Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
• Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
• Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 2: 2003 Emmys

• Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
• Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
• Winner: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
• Nominated: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
• Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 3: 2004 Emmys

• Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
• Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
• Winner: Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
• Winner: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
• Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
• Winner: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Season 4: 2005 Emmys (winners not yet determined)

• Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Cinematography for a Single-Camera Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series
• Nominated (three times): Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Dramatic Underscore)
• Nominated: Outstanding Stunt Coordination
• Nominated: Outstanding Drama Series
• Nominated: Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series

Notice anything odd about the nominations above? Consistently nominated for Lead Actor and Drama Series... never won. Consistently nominated, and sometimes winning, for Picture and Sound Editing, Casting and Stunt Coordination. One time, once, nominated and winner of Outstanding Writing... and that was for the Pilot episode of Season One. Not a single nomination for the writing since.

The show is exciting, you can't doubt that. But it's apparent that the quality of writing is not what they're going after. Typical viewers don't care about that, though. Does it put butts in seats? Yep, the ratings have gone up each year. Does the writing suck? Yep, it gets goofier each season.

My predictions for this year's Emmys... I think Kiefer will get snubbed once again and so will 24 as Outstanding Drama, both losing to Deadwood. They may pick up a few Emmys for Sound/Picture Editing. But there's no way in hell they win for Casting this year.

Jack Bauer’s Love Life

More potential spoilers for season five:

One of the new season five characters is named Craig Huxley. Craig is 15 and he lives in a small desert town, the type of place where people don’t ask questions and the type of place Jack Bauer could easily blend into. In the story the town is supposed to be around the city of Bakersfield, California; which is about 110 miles north of Los Angeles. Craig is a sophomore in high school and his mother is dating Jack. Craig and Jack don’t get along and Craig doesn’t want Jack around and he hates that Jack is dating his mother. Craig has an attitude and he isn’t afraid to speak his mind.

Jack Bauer must be a freaking pimp. He’s had a different chick in three of the show’s four seasons... too bad he’s poison. One died. One he just decided to not call back. And the latest one’s husband was killed because of Jack. When will he learn to become celibate?

But this time... this time it will be different. Instead of having to deal with an ignorant eye-candy daughter (who has apparently fallen off the face of the Earth, in Jack’s world), a crazy sister, or an estranged husband, Jack will have to come to terms with a high school boy. I can’t even begin to imagine what’ll happen.

D’ah, screw it... I’ll give it a shot.

At some point Jack’s cover will be blown by the kid and the baddies will come after Jack. Not being able to get Jack, they’ll take the kid and Jack will pursue. At a very dramatic moment, Jack will have to do something unbelievable and the kid will have to decide whether he trusts Jack or not.

Fox, give me a job.

A 24 Movie? AKA, Two Crappy Hours You Pay For

Some potentially disturbing news came across the news wire today:

The Calgary Sun reports that a movie based on popular Fox series 24, starring Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, is in the works.

Canadian director/producer Jon Cassar said, "The last I heard, the first hour will not be in real-time, but then something big will happen and real time will kick in. It still has to be worked out -- it's at a stage where they need to write it."

Cassar will not predict a storyline for the big screen version of the show. He says the script will likely depend on what's happening on the series prior to the movie coming out.

"It could still be two years from now, so it's far too early to say," he says, adding even if he did know, he wouldn't give it away.

"The last I heard, the first hour will not be in real-time, but then something big will happen and real time will kick in???"

What a joke... the last I heard was that this show is seriously sucking.

Season 5 of 24

With Season 4 having just ended, there's already a steady flow of information coming in about Season 5... and what an amazing season it promises to be. Heh. Let's review what has been posted over at The 24 Insider (WARNING: THIS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS):

• The scheduled production start date for season five is July 26th.
• RUMOR: I’m hearing that the season will start off with the terrorist bombing of a “high-value target”. It’s unclear if the high-value target is a person or a building but it's looking more and more like a combination of both a prominent building and a high-ranking government official who will be among the many killed in the terrorist attack. There are several other scenarios I’ve heard rumblings about and every single one of them has the same concept of a terrorist bombing of a building with extremely strong international ties. They are also thinking about bringing back a former character to be among the many dead in the massive explosion.
• The new season has already been in pre-production since April. New writers Manny Coto and David Fury are quickly getting accustomed to writing a real-time script. 24 has sought out the advice of novelist Richard Marcinko and he is playing an advisory role in the shaping of season five’s story. 24 sent out casting calls for a major female role in April and the role has already been cast but the actress hasn’t been revealed.
• What happens next on "24" is one of the most guarded secrets in Hollywood -- but Vince Flynn has some answers. The best-selling Twin Cities-based author of political thrillers like "Transfer of Power" and "Term Limits" spent a week in Los Angeles recently, helping creators of the unpredictable Fox drama come up with future story lines. He'll go back in late summer or early fall to help wrap up some of the stories and possibly even pen a script. Flynn wouldn't dare give away any major revelations but he did let slip that some major characters get blown up in next season's opener.
• "We'll pick Jack up in a very different place, roughly a year later. Of course, the show is the show, so it won't be long before he's back in the saddle. But we'll explore a little bit of what he's been doing with his life and the situation he's gotten himself into. That will certainly have an impact on his behavior when he gets involved in the streets".
  Source - Quote from 24 writer/producer Robert Cochran from TvGuide interview
• Jack, Chloe and Curtis will be back.

Looks like we're in for another great season. First off we get a bombing of a "high-value target." Haven't seen that one yet. We might also get to see a former major (?) character die in the explosion... we can only hope it's Defense Secretary Heller. And as for Flynn helping the unpredictable show with new storylines... are they talking about the same show in season four? Because that was pretty damn predicatble.

Of course Jack is coming back, why wouldn't he. I don't mind Curtis coming back, but Chloe??? At this point I'm thinking she's just a fan-favorite, or something. There's no way someone with her character flaws would be in such an important position at CTU.

As for Jack getting back in the saddle... c'mon! Switch it up already! Make Jack work from the outside the whole season. Make it seem like he really is dead. Or do something I heard someone else mention, make season five about Jack escaping from the US Government into another country. I'd like to see an entire change of pace from the show.

More as information becomes available.

Conclusion: I'll Never Get Those 24 Hours Back

In a very lackluster season, you can color me very impressed with 24's final two hours. I didn't have very high expectations at all going in. In fact, I watched the final three episodes back-to-back-to-back, and the third to last hour was crap, just like the rest of the season. I'm not entirely sold on how this season ended, but I wished they would've "killed off" Jack a lot sooner. I have no doubts that he'll be back next season, this show doesn't work without him, but you off him in the middle of a season, then you have a good void to fill and things could become exciting.

This season's biggest disappointment was the level of writing. That's the easiest way to kill your show. The acting was pretty rank, too, but you don't go see blockbuster movies to have good acting. You don't normally go to see the storyline, either, but the more believable the story and the less holes there are, then the poor acting becomes an afterthought.

I think the story this time around was entirely way too complex. This year was 24's biggest year in terms of ratings, but Fox tried way too hard to make this story great. You can't continue to cram things into a story to improve it, take some core ideas and develop them deeper. That's why seasons one and two were good, err, rather they were better.

So until I can actually go into more details about season five, I'll leave you with my final thoughts on season four:

THE GOOD

• Not one mention of Kim for the entire season
• Certain plot twists
• The entire Mandy story line... notice she's a free lady now
• The final two hours (aside from SOME cheesy acting here and there)

THE BAD

• The many cliffhangers that weren't cliffhangers
• Acting for 90% of the season
• Marwan's ability to always escape
• Two love triangles
• There's a mole in CTU
• Inconsistant use of how many agents to take on a field operation
• People walking around CTU pushing papers when they should be at their computers solving stuff
• Plot twists up until hour 24

THE UGLY

• For the fourth year in a row, no one is going insane from working 24+ hours
• Everything I Know About Being President, I Learned From Palmer... but choose to be an idiot instead (the VP story line)
• Waiting through 22 episodes for the final two hours
• The LA time warp
• HORRIBLE use and education about technology (EMP bombs, stealth, satellites, unlocking hard drives, cell phones and helicopters, etc)
• Jack coming back to life, AGAIN (see season two)
• Secretary of Defense Heller
• The numerous interrogations and torturing
• Minute-by-minute foreshadowing

THE UNNECESSARY

• Product placements (Alienware, Motorola, Cisco, etc)
• The Erin Driscoll story line
• Chloe
• Chloe shooting a gun
• The CTU ER

I'm sure there are more, so please feel free to post your own. I'll keep the site updated when/if I hear news about the upcoming season five. If I hear nothing... I'll see you next January. Toodles.

T-Minus Three Hours

Last time we left the small village of 24, a missile had just been launched and Marwan was finally in custody. Where did everyone go radically wrong this week? How lame was this episode?

Missile Command
The missile has been launched. I repeat, the missile has been launched. But it's not a regular missile. No, no. It's a stealth missile. No one can find it. It's just flying around. Invisible. Uh-huh. Doesn't it have a heat registry from the fuel its using? CTU knows where it was launched from, so I'm thinking you could scan that area for a heat signature somewhere. You've tried everything, you've even been running MILITARY PROTOCOL, and still can't find it? Is it time to re-think CTU's involvement here? And Marwan, why in the hell would you launch a missile that would take forever to hit? That's almost as bad as keeping the person you're trying to kill around just a bit longer so that you can divulge your master plan. JUST BLOW SOME SHIT UP ALREADY. Be done with it.

What The Heller

• Good Lord, why must the entire Heller family be brought back into the fold? I thought after Paul died, we'd see less of them. Guess not. On a good note, Audrey seems to be doing much better just two hours after Paul died. She's got a job to do.
• Can we get through one episode without the threat of having to torture someone in an interrogation? Oh yeah, good idea... let's have Audrey do the questioning. Wait one second... That would NEVER EVER EVER happen. What's this? CTU is only now using a machine that monitors heart rate to tell if someone is lying or not? Why in the hell didn't you use this earlier in the season? You know, instead of using that high-pitched torture crap! (Future writers of 24, please be consistent and constantly check continuity.)
• Bad plot twist: Heller's son is gay? THAT's what he was hiding. Just freaking tell them that. And when Heller told his son, "you should've told us everything," just how far does he need to go? Anyone else having a "Goonies" flash back? And how does him being gay help you solve the terrorist problem? That's just silly.

How Many CTU Agents Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?
This season's biggest WTF: Why was there only five guys there to take Marwan into custody? There were six to steal that chinese dude, there were about 44 to get Marwan when he was in the club and at the end of the episode, there were at least 10 men besides the CTU contingency. This time, they had Marwan pinpointed to a specific location, yet only send five people to get him. It's no wonder Marwan escaped. AGAIN. How many times can CTU be this incompetent and still have government funding, not to mention the same personnel? Luckily, they brought three vehicles so they could get back to CTU.

This Land Is Your Land
Once again, this whole VP story is absurd. A power struggle on this kind of day, at this time in the show, is ridiculous. The whole way that this supposed government handles days like this is asinine. Six people at CTU won't be counted on to stop everything and three people in the white house won't either.

Bet You Didn't See THAT Coming
In a show that continually gives the audience all the tools necessary to guess what's going to happen next, why can't we actually fool some people or give them worthwhile plot twists? Michelle agrees to quit her job (yes, the only thing she knows and has done for the past 12 years) to move on with Tony. Then, Curtis HAS to stay at CTU this time, even though he's been on every other field op in the day. Hmmmm, I wonder what's going to happen.

Miscellaneous

• Again with the kick ass noise-blocking cell phones. Case in point, Jack had to put on the headset to talk to the guy sitting right next to him. Why? If he can talk clear as day on a cell phone, then there's no need for the headsets. To complicate things further, when Jack calls Curtis, why is he yelling? Maybe the helicopter gets louder as it moves closer to the ground.
• YES! Mandy, the sexy assassin is back! This is a nice nod for fan-boys from the writers.
• Almost as bad as the overused "with all due respect" line, Jack's entering of a room and doing the two finger pointing thing from his eyes is just awful.

24 Renewed for Two More Seasons on Fox!

Oh boy, oh boy! Good news came today in the realm of bad writing and even worser acting... that's right, 24 has been renewed for another two seasons at Fox!!! What does that mean??? That means that this site will live on, stronger and much more sarcastic than ever! Oh yeah, can't wait for next year. Update from Monday's episode coming later this week.

This IS A Marathon

CTU Remodeled?
Over the past few seasons, whenever someone was critically injured they were taken to hospitals for treatment. CTU must've gotten sick of that because over the past two years (from season three to season four) they've added their own full-fledged medical unit. This thing is basically a functioning emergency room. It also has two to three beds for patients to stay in for observation.

I'd say that this was a waste of time to do that, but they've gotten quite a bit of use out of it this season. First with Driscoll's looney daughter, then with Paul and now the chinese guy. I bet anything that they also have a day care, deli and dry cleaner on location. If not, be looking for it soon all you CTUers.

Closer Screening Needed
At an agency such as CTU, which I would think is similar to the FBI and the CIA in terms of type of people they hire, wouldn't personalities like Chloe's get nixed from the start? Not only is she Captain Obvious (which is actually one of the funnier parts of the show), she's just a straight out nosey, bitchy idiot. Granted, she's good at her job and can shoot a gun (bonus), but I doubt that she'd even get a call-back at the Counter Terrorism Unit.

Like a Glove
One of 24's biggest issues this year is the fact that everything is either foreshadowed or is completely obvious that whatever happens will factor into the plot somehow. It's good writing in terms of making stories complex, but let's make it all a little less obvious. Here are some examples from this week:

• We leave last week while Audrey was FREAKING OUT (bless that freak's heart, Paul just died). This week, only five minutes later, she's pretty coherent. Sad and upset, sure, but coherent. And just when you think, "Driscoll left when her daughter died, Audrey will probably go home, too." No, she doesn't. Why not? Because only family members of those who commit suicide can go home? No, because the writers thought that making Audrey cover for Jack would be a neat thing to do. Here's a better idea, let her go home and have her called back in without knowing what's going on. She'd be freaked out still and probably incoherent.
• The Chief of Security, Chang, sees the name Edgar Styles on the hours report (who in the hell is keeping track of time on a day like this ... and wouldn't each entry say "looking for Marwan" or "tracking nuclear warhead"?). So when Chang is being escorted from the building, he just happens to run into Edgar.
• The (Vice) President, calls Palmer in to be his proxy and do anything he needs to get this all fixed. So Palmer does and now the (Vice) President is pissed. Didn't see that one coming a MILE away.

Say What?
"They were all masked?"
"Yes"
"Wait, his mask was lifted."
"Use the image processing filters."

Answer this question. Why aren't they using night-vision cameras outside at night? And isn't this the oldest "computer trick" in the book? They've got this image, but it's hard to tell what, or who, it is. So they enhance the hell out of it and then it's just fine to run through a database of information?

One More Thing
Are you kidding me? Curtis' last name is Man? As in, "hello Mr. Man?"

The Act is Up, Err, Down.

If you watched this week's episode of 24, then you witnessed one of this season's worst acted hours.

Here's some reasons why:

• "I wasn't prepared to have all this thrust upon me so suddenly." God forbid something happen to a President and YOU have to step in Mr. VICE President. That IS what you signed up for, right?
• "Do we take that literally? That he'll set off the warhead before dawn?"
  "We have to look at the worst case scenario. What time is sunrise on the East Coast?"
  "7:02. Less than two hours from now."
  Actually, you have to look at ALL scenarios... and yes, you should take him literally.
• "Mr. Lee expected suspicion to fall on him. He says there's been a mistake, he has no connections to terrorists."
  WHAT? Either this guy is a huge paranoid freak or, hmmm, he's guilty. This goes right along with last week's "I have nothing to hide" quote. Great writing.
• "I'm calling for Tony Almeda. Who's this?"
  "This is Michelle Dessler, a colleague of his. May I ask who's calling?"
  "The woman who he happens to be living with. Is he there?"
  Give the girl a break about being rude, she was looking for Tony allllll day. How about trying his cell phone next time? Besides, it's 2:30 am, and just how did you get a direct line to someone inside CTU?
• "I hope I'm not some kind of psychopath." Too late, Chloe.
• "Mr. President, we've just seen a tape recorded by Habib Marwan. On it, he says, quote, 'we'll be waking up to a different world.' We can't be sure what that means, but it may indicate that the warhead will be detonated before dawn on the East Coast."
  He's got a freakin' nuke! What else could it meam!?!
• "For them that's moving pretty fast. For us, that's not moving fast enough."
  "*sigh, What do we do?"
  I don't know for sure... but you're the damn government, I'd stop slouching on a couch all Charlie Brown-like. Thirty minutes ago you were all about knowing what to do in getting Palmer in there. Did you just become stupid when he walked in the door?

Jack's Secret Mission Position:

• More satellite zaniness... real-time infrared imaging... inside a building... with multiple stories... and the ability to color-code bad guys (Chinese, who were red, how coy) and good guys. But, you still can't track a damn nuclear weapon in some of America's smallest mountains on its way to "Jefferson City, Iowa," can you?
• If no one at CTU is supposed to know about what Jack is doing, then why is Tony yelling everything to Jack? It's dead silent in CTU, one might think to be a little more quiet on such a secret mission.
• Why in the hell were the Chinese soldiers shooting at Jack? Oh, that's right, if they "accidentally" shoot Lee, this gets even more interesting.
• Stop being pissed at Tony and Jack. Haven't you noticed for the past three years that it's Jack's way or America explodes?
• I've figured out how the time-warp of Los Angeles works. If the camera is in the car with them, it takes forever. When the camera is somewhere else, they can teleport.
• Jack, his lungs are filling up with fluid, don't give him CPR, you're just going to break his ribs. Wait! That's a great idea! Break a rib and puncture the lung to allow the fluid to drain out. You ARE a genius!

Tidbits:

• This is how the communication chain works at CTU. Doctors who need to get a hold of Jack call his cell phone. Directors of CTU, or whatever the hell he is, must track him down wherever he is in the building.
• Good continuity from last season where Palmer is still wearing that weird bracelet thing. Though, they never told us what it does for him.
• I'm not quite sure I'm believing the "messed up tape" deal. First off, the camera didn't bust while the tape was filming, they recovered the tape by itself. Secondly, an explosion is either going to blow the whole damn thing up OR blast in in half. This tape they had was in one piece. Third, the explosion would've had to have been able gotten inside the tape to do that kind of damage to the film... and if the explosion would've gotten inside the film, I think it would be one giant clump of tape goo by now. So, what you watched was an After Effects filter and some keen editing. And if they only recovered SOME of the recording... what in the hell was on that tape? We saw everything Marwan said when he recorded it. My bet, porn.
• Homeland Security still uses fax machines to communicate with CTU. Why?

The following took place over the last two weeks...

First off, I'd like to give a big shout out to Jefferson City! You just got mentioned on 24! That's BIG TIME! Chamber of Commerce members, you should call an emergency meeting! I just bet you can capitalize off of this somehow... think "The 24 tour of Jeff City!" Hell, I'd go, even if it was the only thing Iowa had to offer. WAIT A SECOND!!! You mean, there isn't a Jefferson City in Iowa!?! Does this "Los Angeles" place exist, too?

This is why Vice Presidents suck:

1. Worst story line yet.
2. Arrest Jack Bauer?
3. Just bring Palmer back, we don't need an excuse.

Missle Command:

• Time-foreshadowing... it'll take an hour to account for all of them? Welcome to what this episode is about.
• So these guys blow up the truck that had the nuke on it... Wouldn't... that... blow... up... the... nuke... too? Nope! Now CTU knows there's a convoy missing and they're going to stop looking for Marwan. If they can track a black SUV on non-highway roads and gun-fire in the looted streets of LA... why couldn't they track convoys with Nuclear Warheads on them? Ooooh, because there are mountains in between Illinois and Iowa, duh. Then why aren't these convoys HEAVILY guarded? One truckful of redneck terrorists couldn't ambush an entire convoy. And most importantly, if this was one of the nukes that was being transported to be disarmed, WHY NOT JUST DISARM THE DAMN THING WHEREVER YOU ARE!?!

A Super Cell (phone) is Forming:

• Again with the amazing helicopter noise-reduction cockpits and/or cell-phones. Engadget or Gizmodo haven't let us common-folk know where to get those, yet.
• Since when is a club not loud and a cell phone's reception is perfect?

Cut Up That Credit Card:

• "A terrorist just used a credit card at a gas station." "Maybe it was a decoy." "It wouldn't be much of a decoy because we don't know where he is or which direction he's traveling in." [Insert edited material] "Wait... didn't you just say he used a credit card at a gas station?" "Yeah, so?" "Do we know which gas station?" "Yeah, so?" "Hmmm. Good point, keep on the lookout across the entire United States. We'll nail this bastard."
• "I used that credit card you gave me." "I told you to get rid of that credit card." Silly Marwan, you've planned this day for so long, it's a shame it's not going to work out for you. Question, if you didn't want him to use that credit card, why did you give it to him? And we know why he didn't get rid of it... it was a Capital One No Hassle card!

Let's Do the Time Warp Dance:

• No f'ing way... first off, an attorney was contacted (at 12:30 am), he got all awake, cleaned up, dressed, got a court order, and made it to CTU before they could interrogate this guy? Good thing Jack realized that. This is CTU, people! They work against terrorists! I'd say that they have authority here.
• It took Chloe five minutes to get to that lady's house, yet back up is ten minutes away? More importantly, CTU is only five!

Tidbits:

• Congrats Defense Secretary Heller, the worst-acting award now goes to the Vice President.
• "I'm innocent. I have nothing to hide." Who says that???
• Richards has the worst job, ever. All he does it give people shots. Though, he's had a lot of work to do this season.
• "With all due respect, sir..." Jack has said this line at least 200 times this season.
• Why does Audrey have a problem with Jack's interrogation now and not when Jack was questioning Paul?
• Someone gets suspicious and they get a phone call through to CTU that easy? Riiiiight. The week after September 11, the office manager at the place I worked got four phone calls about what they thought was suspicious activity (as in helicopters landing at an airport). CTU would be getting thousands of calls. Speaking of paranoia, would people really be clubbing on a day where there's been a terrorist attack and the president has been shot down out of the sky?
• Why 24 didn't suck this week... the whole club sequence!
• Product placement alert: Alienware laptop! But, don't use them... you'd be a terrorist if you did.
• The rest of the files on this guys computer are locked... damn... WAIT! In an earlier episode, Edgar told Jack how to unlock files... just get Edgar on the phone... then you won't have to make the WORST ENDING OF AN EPISODE EVER – Chloe shooting a gun. Now THAT'S tough.

It's Getting Worse

Why do I keep torturing myself like this? I now have the computer on my lap as I watch the episodes, pausing the show to jot down all of my thoughts. I show no mercy and I'm picking at it to death. I'm sure you can do this with a lot of shows on television, but I choose this one because it has so much potential on being cool and fun... and fails. I'm not sure if I liked last week's numbered entry, so I'm gonna do it like I had previously:

• Air Force One Is Wacky!
  "This is Air Force One... we are declaring an emergency." What you didn't know is no Government agency in the United States can do anything regarding Air Force One until an "emergency" is declared... I guess. Alright CTU, you heard the plane, now figure out something ingenious on how to save it.
  
  "Why did the signal fade? Why did we lose contact?" I'm not entirely certain, maybe BECAUSE THEY'RE CRASHING! And for the record, I'm pretty sure that simply changing the frequency isn't going to help regain contact. Whoops, I was wrong! I guess it's kinda like those portable phones you had in the house... the ones were you could change the "channel" you were talking on... did that ever work for anyone?
• Hide, The Satellites Are Watching!
  Within 5 seconds of Air Force One going down, Audrey walks into the room and says that she has satellite photos from DOD of scattered ground flashes. In case anyone was wondering... yes, the DOD has real-time satellite imaging. It doesn't seem fair that CTU had to watch their Atari Satellite Radar screen when those two agencies are working so closely on this day.
• The Winner Is...
  Doing his best Bush-during-the-September-11th-attacks impersonation, the award for Doing Absolutely Nothing in a Major Crisis goes to the Vice President! Please sir, accept this award with the promise that you will continue doing nothing for this country when its President could possibly be dead. There is such a thing as a temporary swearing in... I saw it on The West Wing! And yes, It's official, the VP is a wuss. I think he crapped his pants when he was told that he had to invoke the Twenty-Fifth Amendment and take over. That's leadership folks! He wouldn't listen to his friend of 15 years (Muppet Man – doesn't he look like the Bald Eagle dude from The Muppet Show?), but now that it's confirmed that the Pres is in bad shape, he'll go change his diaper and get sworn in. One more thing, yes, Muppet Man did stuff without your permission... since you were so busy STANDING AROUND IN YOUR OFFICE DOING NOTHING.
• All The King's Horses
  The DOD's "Top Priority" is to get the football back. So, Edgar readied the "team" and they promptly took off. The "team" flies all the way to the power facility and are ready to encounter the terrorists. It's the four bad guys versus the two, yes TWO, CTU agents. Now THAT's a team! I don't even think doubles tennis people are called teams, merely pairs. Anyway, go kick some butt guys and then answer this: why didn't you blow up the Jeeps when you arrived at the power plant? That way, the terrorists can't escape in the only other mode of transportation!
• From Jason To Kelly
  Kelly is one HEAVY sleeper! She slept through a large plane crashing no more than 50 yards from their tent. Jason, on the other hand, woke up to what he thought was an explosion... but wasn't sure what he heard. It didn't seem to bother him too much, he was ready to go "make a baby." I know that some people can sleep through a lot of noise, but a PLANE crash? But, to back them up, the plane debris wasn't too scattered... I guess that "24" defers to "Lost" on how to make a plane crash look really good.
  
  When, oh when, will we get reception as good as the government gets? The CIA, or Secret Service, agents had ZERO problems talking to Jack just minutes after the crash, but Kelly's cell phone barely gets a signal? That signal never cut out during the rest of the episode... and that could've an interesting twist. Way to take advantage, writers!
  
  The entire conversation between Jason and Jack... lame. They're inserting dialogue to show how smart they are... educating the viewers, so to speak. So, Jason HAS to remove the transponder... it's a good thing he brought the compass with them to check out the plane crash. Wait, he had a compass but not a knife? Take his Totem Chip away!

Random Bits

• Whoa... wait! That's it? The Stealth Fighter was spotted and shot down? That quickly!?! Talk about not renewing someone's contract or wanting to pay some extra royalties. This was a MAJOR storyline!
• Good lord, Michelle. I think this is the fourth episode in a row where you tell everyone to re-focus their efforts on finding Marwan. I think everyone, including people who don't watch the damn show, know that by now.
• The rescue teams are finally inside Air Force One, which looks to be a hollowed hull of a plane – there are papers scattered everywhere and hardly anything else... except bodies. It's no wonder that so many people are dead, there were no seats for them to sit in!
• "Its got a funny name. I read this article once. It's got our nuclear codes." Good writing, or bad acting? I suspect both.
• Was Jack was really going to put Audrey on call-waiting?
• How far away is LA from this crash site? Marwan made the trip in less than an hour and Jack is flying via helicopter in less than 30 minutes... is this right or are we in time-warp land again?
• The power station is un-manned and Jack said to turn off their flashlights – to avoid drawing attention to themselves. Good thing all of the lights are on.
• How long does it take you guys to turn on your cell phone? It takes me about 15 seconds... that's when the battery is in. Jason managed to insert his battery, turn the cell phone on AND make a phone call in seconds. Also... reception in the desert sucked, but inside a large concrete power facility... it's perfect. Remember that.
• Jack kicked the gun away from the dead guy this time. What's wrong Jack, can't handle being shot at from a dead guy twice in the same long ass day?
• "There are thousands of warheads, it'll take an hour to clear the slate." No problem, Air Force One crashed one hour ago so you should be about done... right? Or are you meaning an hour from NOW, which would give the terrorists (aka Marwan, since everyone that tries to help him dies) an entire episode to get a warhead next week?

So, this isn't quite in the same vein as "Super Size Me" or "The Pepsi Spice Project," but damn...

TTTT (Two Times The 24)

Last night, I caught up on the last two weeks of "24." Shoosh! Let me tell you what... nah, let me show you what (in chronological order):

1. They're pulling all their resources to find Marwan, thanks for the leadership Michelle... but wasn't everyone ALREADY LOOKING FOR MARWAN?
2. "I got onto the base and through two layers of security using the pilot's id...," this was explained for anyone who doubted that he could just waltz in to a military base. No one talks like this... Marwan doesn't care how dude got in because he was the one who planned it.
3. So, let me get this straight... the only actor on this show that was worthwhile (the guy attempting to fix the plane) gets shot? Man!
4. "I don't want Audrey interfering." Hmmm... she's been "interfering" all day.
5. "Who was in charge of this operation?" Who in the hell do you think Audrey? Chloe... no, too bitchy. Edgar... no, too nerdy. Tony... no, he's a drunk. Who's left? Oh, that's right! The DIRECTOR OF CTU!!!
6. Someone on this writing staff has Bond-syndrome... just kill Jack already. Marwan, you've done your homework on him, right? He single-handedly prevented three other seasons of "24" from going badly. Get rid of him, then it can be YOUR show!
7. Remember that time-warp land that CTU resides in? You know, the city where you can drive across town or show up to work in 5 minutes? Well, a kidnapped-Jack must not be in that city anymore... when we left him at commercial, he was trying to reach something but was being stopped by the length of his handcuffs, when we returned, he was still trying to reach it... shouldn't he be out of his cuffs, killed all the bad guys and back at CTU in Audrey's confused arms by now?
8. The dead pilot's family has been reported missing and the news isn't hitting the newswire for another 15 minutes. THEN THE CRAP HITS THE FAN! Wait, how exactly is this news (Chloe asked the same thing)? People go missing for days and things aren't filed. Think about this though, what if they were found dead? If so, the terrorists don't need to worry, because it's flagged as an important notice and it'll go out sometime soon (15 minutes) to all of the local authorities and CTU. They're just proofreading it to make sure all the grammar and spelling are correct.
9. Plot-hole! Marwan wants Behrooz in exchange for Jack... it's a damn good thing Behrooz escaped his killing in the mountains earlier, or there'd be a lot more dead terrorists now.
10. Chloe confirmed that it indeed WAS Marwan on the phone call. Cool. She confirmed it by getting some audio recordings from McClendon-Forrester. I'm glad they're cooperating now. Whoa! Wait! Didn't all of their electronic stuff essentially evaporate when the EMP bomb went off!?! No biggie, I bet they sent over some cassette tapes for her to check.
11. For some reason, Audrey seems a bit more tan this week... what is it with me and tans???
12. Why do the writers insist on showing us that American Counter-Terrorist Units LOVE to interrogate people by torture? Are we THAT mean of a country?
13. Over the four seasons, I've never seen them worry about "the hourly's" coming into CTU. Nor have I seen the connectivity these people have with their computers – "just patch me through..." – what the hell? These people are geniuses. Also, Meg... is it? Yes, we know how busy you are down there, but we're having a party up here, can you please take on more work while I do a keg stand? You're a peach.
14. Remember the guy that checked out the plane and said they'd have to order a part? Yeah, the same guy that said "I'm about to go and tell the crew chief now..." Well, he must've told the chief from the afterlife, because I'm pretty sure he was shot. And killed. Dead.
15. One minute Audrey's pissed and doesn't want to think about Jack because Paul is still in surgery... the next she's badgering Tony about the Jack/Behrooz trade off... women.
16. THEY DID AN MRI ON BEHROOZ WHEN HE WAS BROUGHT IN!?! I had an MRI done on the middle of my back the other day – it took them 45 minutes to do just my back. A full body scan probably would've taken 5 episodes. Should I even question if they actually have an MRI machine in the building there? Silly me, of course they do! It's right next to the dry cleaners and cotton candy machine.
17. Whoa! Jack just kicked one of my terrorist friends to the ground... I'll show him, I'll run right at him a... KICK... ouch... damn, he's good.
18. Ray mentioned this to me the other day... remember the information Edgar made Meg look at because he was too busy? Well, apparently she can't zoom the information back to other computers... no, she has to burn the stuff to a disc and then hand-deliver it to Edgar. He tells her to put it down on his desk. Yes. Right there on all of the other colored CDs, now it's sure to get lost... well done! Now no one will know, or care, about the family that's been missing for two hours. Someone, anyone, the next time I'm in a meeting for more than two hours, please alert the authorities... I'm sure the meeting isn't that interesting.
19. "Audrey, any word on Paul?" "We still don't know yet." What do you mean you don't know yet, just 4 seconds ago the nurse said he'd be out of surgery within the next hour... that's SOMETHING!
20. Is it odd that America doesn't negotiate with terrorists, yet CTU does?
21. Marwan's called three times now, each time reaching Edgar. If I were Marwan (notice I didn't say, "If I were a terrorist"), I wouldn't call Edgar anymore, I'd call Michelle directly. If I were a geeky tech guy (notice I didn't say, "If I were Edgar"), I'd leave the bastard on hold so we could track him.
22. "How are you transporting Behrooz." "In one of our tactical vehicles." [insert edited footage] "What the hell is a tactical vehicle?" "It's an SUV." "Why didn't you just say by SUV or even by car?" "Because tactical vehicle sounds cooler." "Seems like more work, but you're right, I was impressed."
23. Is that really Marwan's cell-phone ringer? I figured he'd have the Donkey Kong theme on there or something a little more sinister. Maybe the cheap faked sound of an electronic grenade? The crazy frog?
24. Yeah, the CD will get misplaced... WE GET IT!
25. Nice try with the obvious stock footage of the stealth plane.
26. Jack, stop with the personal phone calls... if time is of the essence, then make sure you remember that YOU HAVE A TERRORIST TO CATCH!
27. "Where's the hard drive?" "Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh... I'm kinda busy flying a stealth bomber right now... I'm gonna have to get baaack to you on that one. Okay?"
28. The terrorists are using last-ditch efforts to delete stuff from the hard drives! Ooo! Ooo! Make sure you empty the Recycle Bin before you're shot!
29. Watching Jack kill bad guys is still cool! Even if the footage is juxtaposed by the gun-shot sensing satellite (remember, the one that doesn't see fire, or explosions, or body heat...).
30. That explosion made NO sense. When things explode they create an energy wave that extends outward from the blast origin (think atomic bomb and mushroom cloud). Yet, when the things in this room exploded, they made the windows shatter INSIDE the room... must be one of those new black hole bombs.
31. "You can't stop it," says the dying terrorist. "Stop what," yells Jack!?! Do you really think he's going to tell you now? No! He's gonna let it hang over your head that he knows something you don't know for the last 7 seconds of his life... and by the way, that's a hell of a bull riding time, if you didn't know.
32. Would you trust a doctor with bad hair and a ringer-tee underneath his scrubs? Me either? And did anyone else want Audrey to karate-chop Paul's legs, just to make sure he wasn't paralyzed?
33. "How did you that (letting Marwan escape) happen?" Dude's an extremely resourceful terrorist, how do YOU think he escaped? WHOA! Did that guy just put the moves on Michelle!?! Yes, he did, and the love triangle just keeps on growing, unlike my interest in this show.
34. Go right on in Ms. FBI Agent that looks like Jack's old wife! First, just enter the terrorist's unlocked house. Second, make sure the entry way is secure. Third, get cell phone out to ca... FOURTH, GET SHOT!!! Bueno! Just like when you failed the scenario at the academy. And this is why you don't have a permanent cast spot.
35. I'm sure Americans will rest easier knowing an 18 year-old helped the President of the United States of America figure out what he was going to say in his address to the nation. Why not lower the minimum age to be President to 16? Hell, we're driving by then... we can run the damn country!
36. Jack can overhear the fake agent talking on her cell phone, but doesn't hear his guy find the external hard drive? And again with the genius stuff about computer knowledge! I just tried that "locking/unlocking" trick with my external hard drive... no go.
37. Anyone think Jack tried out the Stealth Fighter flight simulator program? I would've!
38. I like the stealth fighter story line... except the glaring mistake that the President said he had four fighter planes and the radar showed five. That's some goo-ood writing!

When does Palmer come back!?!

How Can I NOT Say Anything?

Wow. What another electrifying week of 24! You know, by now, that I'm a HUGE fan of the show... rather, WAS a huge fan of the show until this season's less-than-stellar acting, writing, believability and igiveacrapfactor. It's not me who has noticed the downfall of this show, several of my friends who I've talked to about it have said they're more than likely not going to watch next season. That's a shame, because this show WAS good, it WAS inventive, but now we're reduced to bad storylines and plots.

So, what is it this week that bothered me?

1. Yay! Chloe's back!
   You knew that her exit was lame for her character and that she'd be back eventually. But did you think she'd come back so tan? She must've spent the entire day in the booth to look like that, gross. And I'm delighted to know that Chloe has also learned the art of time-travel and can get all prettied up and back to CTU within five minutes of being called in. Wait, silly me, she lives across the street!


2. "Your family is dead. And so are you."
   So, let me get this straight... the real pilot drives into the base with the bad guy in the trunk/back seat (still not sure how that worked – those new Caddy's have "secret compartments" I guess), manages to get by security (acting like a dick the whole time), then drives to another part of the base, gets out of his car, and HAS TO LET THE BAD GUY OUT OF HIS HIDING SPOT??? How about running? Or telling someone? But wait, his family is being held hostage, that's right... he knows that for sure since he talked to the people holding them. But that's not something you gamble with, right?


3. "This is the only chance we've got... for the 14th time today."
   Jack Bauer has single-handedly re-written the CTU Field Ops handbook. He knows the right thing to do in every freakin' situation. And this time, he HAS to pretend like he's a hostage... so he STABS HIMSELF (best acting nod to Dina Araz, who looked at Jack with the best WTF-face I've ever seen), that'll get him far in life... maybe he needs to see a therapist, this cutting himself deal has got to stop.


4. Didn't we see this in Season Three?
   It was the ol' "prove your loyalty to me by shooting this person" trick. Was she really going to shoot Jack!?! Hell no, what would we do for the last ten episodes? Regurgitated plot twists suck.


5. "I just can't believe that this is happening."
   Believe it Audrey, your shot up husband, Paul, has been in surgery for the past thirty minutes of the show. And what a heart-to-heart moment with daddy dearest... "I didn't realize until just now how much I loved Paul." "I know this isn't the best time, but I've got to go. Audrey, I'm proud to be your father." WHAT!?! Did I miss something here? Did they cut out some of the scene, to "make it flow better?" I had to stop saying what a bad actor that guy was when I heard that line, and immediately started laughing.


6. What exactly is standard procedure when pulling someone over?
   I know people get pulled over for speeding, or another traffic violation, that the cops usually approach the car. But it seems that when they're apprehending a dangerous criminal, one that is also a TERRORIST, wouldn't they set up guard behind their vehicles and tell the guy to come out of the car with his hands where they can see them? Not CTU baby, they charge right in! They also get exploded. That's what you get when you don't follow protocol.

We have ten episodes left, and I plan on doing this ten more times. Deal with it.

I'm Twenty-Bored

Here it is, just for you day-long-action-television lovers, this week's play-by-play of 24 absurdness (some of the following might be considered spoilers – that is if you consider poorly written crap, spoilers):

1. The head of security, (yes, the mysteriously evil one who set off the emp to save his ... boss? ... job? company's electricity bill?) who was interrogating Paul (the only person who knew where the printed out documents were) hits him a couple of times, then tells the other guards "come get me when he says something." Ummmm, where is he going? To make sure the lights are still off in the rest of the eight-block radius? And would an emp really wipe out the ENTIRE database of the nation's third-largest defense contractor? If so, I bet there are thousands of criminals out there just salivating over the fact that they could clear their name from the FBI's Most Wanted database with an emp.
   
   Criminals of America... THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!!!



2. "Could the EMP have hurt Jack or Paul?" "No, but that doesn't mean they're safe... wait, unless either one of them had something like a pace-maker. Yeah, they'd definitely be screwed then. Man, that would hurt."



3. Welcome back Michelle. Man, you take action quickly. First off you're caught up to speed on what happened over the past few hours. Then you impress us with your knowing Paul's last name (somehow). Then you tell us that there's some new information coming in regarding Habib Marwan from Division – we just saw you talking to NO ONE on your way over to Tony, so did the voices in your head tell you that? And speaking of crazy, did you just tell Tony if he didn't like his assigned job then he could "resign?" Michelle, HE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB THERE ANYMORE!
   
   Feel free to resign Tony, but know that if you decide to leave now, it wouldn't be reflected on your record, you won't be docked vacation, sick or personal leave, your paycheck will still be $0 and you won't have to make up any comp time. Have a good one!



4. "Marwan, your face is all over the news... except that last clip with the lispy lady talking about the power outages and gun shots. Now THAT was good reporting, did you see it?" Good thing the people he passed outside of the restaurant didn't notice him, or seem disturbed that an emp bomb had just detonated in LA... not to mention the whole meltdown ordeal earlier in the day. What am I thinking!?! This is just like any other day, let's go celebrate!
   
   Side note: Does anyone think that when Marwan's picture was being shown "all over the news," they showed a picture of the bad guy from "The Mummy" and said "this man is a terrorist?" And if so, do you think that people instantly thought that all mummies were terrorists?



5. When that emp bomb went off, people sure didn't waste any time... why they started bonfires and began looting. And what did they steal, you might ask... why snowboards of course. My guess is that these people loot all the time and have everything they want, so why not grab something really worth stealing.
   
   Question: Where was the guy with the shotgun when the snowboard thieves were rampaging the store?



6. "I can't force you to leave your own property... but if I felt like it, I could take your car, guns and lives, all without batting an eyelash," says Jack to the Hispanic guy and his tan American brother with a crustache and goatee (the guys who have been blamed all of their lives for the terrorist attacks).



7. Let's see, that's three people who have left CTU by either being fired or because of personal reasons. Good thing that Tony the drunkard is around making his non-salary. Odd that Michelle had read all the reports from the day and knew Sarah's detainment was a mistake, but didn't know that Tony had helped Jack earlier in the day escape a gun fight, track and stop the man who was at the terrorist "trial," find and detain Behrooz and his mother Dina... did she think that Tony had just swung by and was checking in on the place been reinstated for the hell of it?



8. CTU has some very impressive satellite software. It has the ability to register gunfire. Cool eh? Oh, but you'll have to spend another million dollars to get the version that registers REGULAR FIRE, AS IN NOT FROM A GUN.



9. I really don't want to mention the head of security that was shot in the back... but, even though he was mistakenly left for dead and had one of his guns removed, he somehow (with his head turned the other way) knew where his pistol was, grabbed it, leaned up and shot at Jack. Now, I've never been shot in the back, but I'd imagine that arching my back would hurt very bad... but I'm also not a super evil bad guy, either. They have super powers.

Did I miss anything???

1/4 of 24 More Reasons +1 to NOT Watch

I'm all caught up on 24 now, and as I stated before, I'm losing more and more faith with each passing week. Here's the latest beef:

1. LA is, in fact, a time warp city
   Not only can CTU officials (or Government agents) drive from one end of the city to the other in no time at all, but sunset in LA occurs in less than 30 minutes. When Habib Marwan was seen jumping on a bus at the beginning of the episode, the sun was extremely bright. Thirty minutes later, it was pitch dark outside, no dusk, no sunset, nothing. It's okay though, it's hard to film during that time of day.
2. LA is also and surprisingly empty town
   When, and if, I decide to hatch the world's largest terrorist attack on US soil, I'll be happy to know that I can escape out of a surrounded building, hop a bus, and wind up in a part of LA where NO ONE is. Then, even though my picture is all over the news as the nation's most wanted man ever, I'll be able to walk around wherever I like and not worry about a thing.
3. CTU's personal assistants rock
   It was sad to see what happened to Driscal's daughter (which was a bogus story line in, and of, itself), but it's great to know that even though CTU is short on man power and they have every available resource working on stopping the terrorist threat(s), there's still servants to make sure Ellen's office has a nice full pitcher of water... just in case she grows feint. People in distress gotta drink!
4. Life Goes On for more washed up actors
   What a pleasant surprise it was to see Corky's dad on 24. He may just battle the Defense Secretary for worst actor on the show.
5. In the future, all Corporate HQs will have EMPs
   Juuuuuuust in case they need to silence all electronic equipment within an eight block radius. Oh, the devices will also pulse weird-colored light and make a noise much like the Tardis did on Doctor Who.
6. The rules of EMPs are odd
   How strange that while the EMP was charging (not detonating, charging) the first thing to go was the analog phone lines. Then the cellular service went out (but if you were sharp, you noticed that while Jack's phone was searching for service, he was still able to check voice mail). Soon after that, the lights were flickering. But throughout the entire time (ten minutes, remember, is how long it takes the EMP to charge), the computers still worked. Then, right after CTU tried to gain contact with their Helicopter pilots, security guards INSIDE the building were using walkie-talkies. Uh-huh.
7. Next week...
   "You want me to kill a federal agent?" Sure. We also want you to be extremely dry in your acting... oh, and be over-dramatic, too, please.

How sad. The show is becoming a weekly poke-fun-fest for me... if you'd like to watch with me and have me point all of this stuff out in real-time, just let me know.

One Day of TV

Almost four years ago I got hooked on a high-concept television show. The style of show had never really been done on television before, but had several stints in Hollywood... the idea of the show was to have it play out in real-time, where the events happened in a minute-by-minute time line. Critics and viewers were skeptical of this idea, but Kiefer Sutherland and Fox made sure that 24 was a success. From the first show, I was hooked, and I've watched the show every season since then.

Now, 24, like any other show, has its ups and downs. We suffered through seasons two and three with Kim getting into mess after mess, but we also stood up and cheered with Sherry Palmer came back into the mix to spice things up. If someone wanted to get technical, they could call shenanigans on the show since it isn't REALLY 24 hours long (rather it's closer to 18.5 hours long), but that's just getting nitpicky.

No, I've got other issues with the show, and week by week those issues are becoming more and more painful:

• Since the show is real-time, EVERYTHING is by the minute.
  It's the worst form of foreshadowing I've ever seen in a television show. "When will you get here?" "I'll be there in about 17 minutes." WHO SAYS THAT??? Granted, these people are trained government officials, but Jack seems to be the ONLY person who's that precise and NEVER gets held up by traffic.
• Anyone else tired of the recycled storylines?
  Someone inside CTU is a mole/double-agent... My "family member" is in trouble, which impairs me to do my job... This is the absolute worst thing that could happen on US soil, ever... My name is Jack Bauer, and I scream everything, every episode... I don't trust Jack Bauer, but he's the best we've got... and many, many more.
• Interrogations...
  This year I think we've seen about 14 different people being interrogated. Now, I'm sure that in real life the government gets a lot of information by interrogating people, but that doesn't make for good storytelling on TV. Or maybe it does, just hook me up to that weird helmet thing that has ear-piercing noise and I'll probably tell you that I'm a girl and wearing pink undies (now you're wondering, eh?).
• Fox, hire some acting coaches, or better writers.
  I can't tell what the problem is exactly, it could be a mix of both. Each year the level of acting, and storytelling, has dramatically decreased on the show. I've already mentioned the "Kim crap" from seasons past, but this year takes the cake. The character James Heller (played by legendary monotonic actor, William Devane) paints such a dreary bad-acting coat of paint over the entire cast, that every other character must utter out their lines in equally bad ways. Everything is so formulaic and "from point a to point b," that if next season continues this I won't watch. The LONE bright spot is Jonathan Ahdout (who plays the teenage Behrooz), who truly looks like he's going to crap his pants every time his father or mother tell him to do something. Now THAT'S acting!
• Can one day have 24 cliffhangers?
  Apparently so.
• Would a day like this...
  ...have the President in a plane for 12 straight hours, just flying around? ...ultimately be decided by a group of 12 people inside CTU? ...be so poorly planned by terrorists for four years that ONE man could solve it all in a matter of 18 hours? ...not show anyone taking a nap or using the restroom?

I could go into more, but I won't. The show is still very fun to watch, but something needs to change. How about a different storyline completely? How about an entirely new cast? Or how about dropping it for a season or two?

I don't know what the answer is, that's why I don't work in television. But if something doesn't change, then I'll be forced to take my 24 (18.5) hours of life back and devote it to some other show.