Friday, June 24, 2005

Jack Bauer’s Love Life

More potential spoilers for season five:

One of the new season five characters is named Craig Huxley. Craig is 15 and he lives in a small desert town, the type of place where people don’t ask questions and the type of place Jack Bauer could easily blend into. In the story the town is supposed to be around the city of Bakersfield, California; which is about 110 miles north of Los Angeles. Craig is a sophomore in high school and his mother is dating Jack. Craig and Jack don’t get along and Craig doesn’t want Jack around and he hates that Jack is dating his mother. Craig has an attitude and he isn’t afraid to speak his mind.

Jack Bauer must be a freaking pimp. He’s had a different chick in three of the show’s four seasons... too bad he’s poison. One died. One he just decided to not call back. And the latest one’s husband was killed because of Jack. When will he learn to become celibate?

But this time... this time it will be different. Instead of having to deal with an ignorant eye-candy daughter (who has apparently fallen off the face of the Earth, in Jack’s world), a crazy sister, or an estranged husband, Jack will have to come to terms with a high school boy. I can’t even begin to imagine what’ll happen.

D’ah, screw it... I’ll give it a shot.

At some point Jack’s cover will be blown by the kid and the baddies will come after Jack. Not being able to get Jack, they’ll take the kid and Jack will pursue. At a very dramatic moment, Jack will have to do something unbelievable and the kid will have to decide whether he trusts Jack or not.

Fox, give me a job.

1 comment:

Nelson said... really SHOULD be a writer for 24! That sounds exactly like something that would happen.