Monday, August 27, 2007

Jack Bauer for President and Stephen King

In easily the most retarded 24-related news I've ever read, it looks as if some think that having Jack Bauer as Commander in Chief would be the best thing since sliced bread up terrorists. Is it feasible? Sure, Arnold was elected as California governer. But what would that really mean for our country? Let's take a look at Jack's credentials...

  • American citizen, born and raised
  • Served as government agent for several agencies – US Army Delta Force, LAPD SWAT, and finally the Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) Los Angeles (which is fake)
  • Thwarted at least five terrorist attacks on US soil and one Presidential assassination attempt
  • Widowed, but can't keep a stable relationship longer than a year
  • One daughter, estranged
  • Father conspired AGAINST America
  • Brother conspired AGAINST America
  • Faked his own death to help America
  • Killed Chinese ambassador and countless terrorists
  • Spent 18 months in Chinese prison to help America avoid war
  • Constantly insists doing things his way because “it's the only way”
  • Can navigate through LA in 15 minutes flat
  • Has a man-bag
  • Has died twice and come back to life
  • Contemplated suicide, but DIDN'T pull trigger
  • World's best marksman with handheld
  • Favorite catch-phrase is “damnit”
  • Can bite people to death (probably because he was once a vampire)

Know what? Maybe he would be a good candidate. He's got my vote.


In other news, loyal reader Ivan has pointed out the following quip from Stephen King:

Even when the stuff's bad, you keep buying, hoping this time you'll get some of the primo stuff that hooked you. Remember the spectacular second season of 24, when President Palmer (the believable President Palmer) and Jack Bauer (the believable Jack Bauer) were trying to keep the believable terrorists from blowing up L.A.? I got that season on DVD and sat there in front of my TV hour after hour, slamming in new discs and hoping that Jack would whack the abusive father who was terrorizing Kim. Last season's 24 was only a pale imitation, but I'll be back next year, hoping for a return to the good stuff: more thrills, less filler.

Yes, this was the SAME Stephen King that said the first four episodes of season six were “so good it's scary.” Think he's ready to take that all back, now?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

24 Season 7: More News

Loyal reader Jonk has pointed me in the direction of the latest news haul for season 7. It comes from the Chicago Tribune and it does have it's fair share of spoilers... so BEWARE!!! I'm going to pull some quotes from the article and talk about them below.

And Fox has confirmed that "Entourage's" Rhys Coiro, who plays nutty director Billy Walsh on the Hollywood dramedy, has been cast on "24." Garofalo told Jam Showbiz that he'll play another FBI staffer who works with Gold.

So Entourage's Billy Walsh, who works with Ari Gold will be an FBI staffer who works with Janis Gold (Garofalo). If only we knew the name of Ari's wife... please say it's Janis! Or Janice. Or something similar. In any case, that's another pseudo-comedic actor who's joined the ranks.

At Comic-Con in July, the show’s producers also floated the idea of bringing back Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard), but that concept is still in the rumor stage.

Genius idea... not. But I bet these guys are creaming in their jeans.

Production was supposed to start in late July, but the writing staff decided to toss the story they had originally planned to tell, which would have taken Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) to Africa and New York.

Good thing, as traveling from NY to Africa would've put Jack on a plane for about half the season. Smart move!

There’s been a slight tweak there, executive producer David Fury noted. Now the plan is to bring Jack before a federal grand jury (instead of a Congressional Committee). “The change was due to the time of day the hearing would take place, and other story concerns. But the purpose is the same,” Fury said.

That's quite the difference! Good call!

Within the universe of the show, “CTU has been dismantled by a corrupt bureaucracy,” Fury said. “Instead, we'll be focusing on FBI headquarters in Washington.”

It's probably best, seeing that CTU would allow the terrorists to go through with 90% of their plans before Jack stopped them. But I'm not sure that the FBI isn't much worse. Oh the webs that 24 spins.

Executive producer Michael Loceff told a Seattle Fox affiliate that next year’s story lines will be “smaller” and more “personal.”

Really? I sure do hope they're being honest here. What a novel idea.

Garafalo’s casting may bring about some lively debates behind the scenes; the actress and comic has been a commentator for the liberal Air America radio network, while “24” co-creator Joel Surnow called himself a “right-wing nut job” in a February New Yorker article about the show.

“But Joel will tell you this – the politics on the show are very varied,” executive producer Evan Katz said in an interview at Comic-Con. “He’s really at one end of the spectrum, and most of us are not. Not at all.”

“But I also feel that the storytelling is pretty apolitical,” Katz added. “You assume [former president] David Palmer was a Democrat and [former president] Charles Logan was a Republican, but there’s no reason to assume that. We purposely stay away from [depicting] any real domestic issues, partly because it’s distracting from the stories we’re trying to tell. We’re not ‘The West Wing.’ And also, we don’t want to alienate 50 percent of the audience.”

Right! You've never been able to tell what party everyone was a part of... orrrr... let's rewind to season one and see what Wikipedia says about David Palmer. Then you have the fact that Sherry Palmer also mentions, paraphrased, "You are the Democratic nominee for President". And except for the fact that Palmer (democrat) ran against Keeler (republican) in the general election, and then Logan replaced the incapacitated Keeler. But yeah, they're not party-aligned.

As for the idea that the show has, at times, legitimized torture as a method of gaining information, Katz said it will always be part of Jack’s “arsenal,” but he also said the writers are “a little sick of it.”

“I think we intend to have him torture people less, simply because we as writers have done it a lot and we always want to do something different,” Katz said.

The writers are getting sick of it? You always want to do something different? YOU'RE THE WRITING STAFF AND THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS!!! No one is making you write torturing into the script.

“The critics kind of savaged us a little bit last year, I thought mostly unfairly, so it was nice to see that the fans, as I kind of suspected, stick with the show even if they’re momentarily disappointed about one thing or another,” Katz said.

Unfairly? You "won" Emmys for acting, directing and drama... and you're talking about unfairness? Sheesh.

Fury said in a July interview that it’s not really possible to plan an entire “24” season out in advance. And it does seem like a good idea to keep things flexible: for example, part of the decision to focus much of Season 5’s stellar storytelling on Martha and Charles Logan (who were played by Gregory Itzin and Jean Smart) came as a result of the writers and producers seeing what great work the actors were doing.

“It’s very difficult to map things out, and when you try to do that, everything starts to feel stale,” Fury said. “By nature of what the show is, we almost have to let it be very fluid.”

Ladies and gentlemen... THAT is the exact reason 24 has sucked the past few seasons. How can a show be difficult to map out? Oh, well maybe when your story line gets scrapped twice before production starts... that may make it tough.

Consider yourself informed.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

24 Season 7: Production Delays (Again) and Janeane Garofalo

Yes, for those of you who don't know, Season 7 is progressing very nicely. So nicely, in fact, that the writers and producers can't seem to agree on what direction the show will go next year. And now, for the SECOND TIME, the production start date for 24 has been pushed back.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, shooting on the new "24" season was expected to begin on Aug. 27, but is being moved to Sept. 10 as writers scramble to complete a certain number of scripts.


By this time last year, "24" was announcing guest stars at a rate of two or three a week, but the only new cast member announced so far has been Cherry Jones, playing the president of the United States.

Speaking of cast member announcements, let's, uh, applaud the latest??? (Again from The Hollywood Reporter)

Actress-comedian Janeane Garofalo, an outspoken liberal, is set to co-star on the conservative-leaning real-time drama, whose co-creator/executive producer Joel Surnow jokingly describes himself as a "right-wing nut job."

What? A comedian on the show? A super liberal one at that? Does that mean she'll make fun of everyone for driving around in giant SUVs? Will she deter any company or government agency from using torture? Or will she just become another big-name attached to the show to get people to watch... maybe they want more female liberals this time???

I will say that she did a fantastic job on The West Wing... but that was a REAL Emmy-winning show for writing, direction and acting. I don't see her success with that show translating to awesomeness here, though.

Nothing like grasping at straws, eh FOX?