Wednesday, May 31, 2006

24 Season 5 Nominated Three Times by Television Critics Association

The Television Critics Association has spoken – and what horrible words they have muttered. Apparently, 24 hasn’t only found a way to make the common TV viewer drone out for 24 total hours and watch filth, but they’ve somehow convinced the critics to nominate them for awards!

I’m not saying that 24 doesn’t deserve its fair share of gold... as you can see, last year it was nominated 11 times for Emmys. The sad thing, to some, is that (as with the other previous three seasons) it only won three Emmys, all in non-glamorous categories – Outstanding Single Camera Sound Mixing for a Series, Outstanding Sound Editing for a Series and Outstanding Stunt Coordination. But they’re still awards, right?

This time around 24 has been nominated three times – Program of the Year, Outstanding Achievement in Drama and Individual Achievement in Drama.

So how will 24 fare?

Program of the Year
Here 24 is pitted against Grey’s Anatomy, Lost, The Office and The Sopranos. Tough crowd. The Sopranos is on the way out, so it doesn’t win. Lost is too silly, much like 24 (but it knows it, so that’s okay), so it won’t win. That leaves Grey’s Anatomy and The Office... I say Grey’s wins here, de-throning Desperate Housewives which won the award last year.

Outstanding Achievement in Drama
The combatants here are again Grey’s Anatomy, House, Lost and The Sopranos. Again, I think Grey’s takes it. No way could it win best overall and NOT get this.

Individual Achievement in Drama
Good ol’ Jack could walk away with some gold here. He’s going up against Alan Alda (The West Wing), James Gandolfini (The Sopranos), Hugh Laurie (House) and Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer). Alda is out here, but did a superb job this season. No to Gandolfini and Laurie. The only person I see giving Bauer a run is Sedgwick, who is supposed to be a knock-out on The Closer. I’d actually like to see who can get a confession faster, her or Jack. My money is on Jack.

One out of three wouldn’t be so bad, especially considering how goofy the show is. But I kinda hope the don’t win, we don’t need the writers getting any more crazy ideas.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

24 Season 5: Episodes 23 and 24 Recaps
(Hours 5:00 a.m. - 7:00 a.m.)
Post #50!

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Here we are, at the end of another long day in Jack Bauer's amazing life. It truly is an amazing life. I'm sure that after living the normal life for the past 18 months (we say 18 months because it's cooler than saying 1.5 years), he was chomping at the bit to get back into the fast lane of time travel and insane technology. But alas, the Earth only revolves once every 24 hours, and it's time that we end this mockery of human intelligence.

Too Bad It Wasn't A Yellow Submarine

  • It took just five minutes to kill the entire crew and for the nerve gas to clear? I wasn't aware that submarines had ventalition systems that powerful.
  • "We haven't received any distress signals from the crew..." Right. Remember, you only left seven of them there, that's all.
  • It will take you to 22-25 minutes to scramble fighters!?! You were about to take out a civilian plane in less than five not two hours ago. This is a stationary target. AND you're sending two fighters? What a consistent military.
  • Go Officer Rooney! Make him a killer, Jack! Tell him exactly how to slit someone's throat. Good job. Now tell him that he doesn't have a choice. Good! If only you could kill someone in front of him later on...
  • From the absurdity file – Henderson is going in with Jack.
  • Hey Rooney, if you're 30 feet away from the hatch (read, MAYBE 15), why are you talking out loud?
  • From the absurdity file #2 – * CTU only sends three guys (one of them being a criminal) to stop a terrorist?
  • I must have missed something... When did Henderson get an ear piece?
  • Jack's been legally dead twice now, it's going to take more than two wrench whacks to take him down.
  • Henderson, you fool! YOU FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!!!
  • In what was easily the BEST PART OF THE SEASON, Jack kills Henderson!

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

  • "Mike, I've never been more sober. Or more sane." You've had children lady! Yikes.
  • Mike has been the epitome of not trusting anyone for the past four seasons, why is Mike so eager to help now? Especially without evidence?
  • Aaron says that he'll go somewhere where the President's men can't find him. Good luck with that. He's the PRESIDENT.
  • "He's leaving for Washington around that time." You're the Chief of Staff, Mike, you should know exactly when he's leaving.
  • From the absurdity file #3 – Morris O'Brien, Chloe's ex-husband, is the ONLY person who can effectively break protocol in this situation, and they just give him access into CTU's giant mainframe? Riiiiiiiight.
  • Mike and Aaron drove out, buried a dude, got back AND tried to stop the President from leaving, all in 10 minutes? That's good time efficiency.
  • Yes! OG Sherry Palmer on the TV with David!
  • Jack has been waiting a long time for this... getting to torture the President!
  • How exactly is Jack just driving around on the presidential compound premesis? And is that a Scion?
  • "I don't know how to respond. I never expected you to say anything like that." Sorry dude, she never expected you to kill a former President and help plan out a terrorist attack on US soil. Get over yourself.
  • Why does Jack insist to keep his phone on loud ringer?
  • It took all of five minutes to have sex!?! A guy like him should have trouble getting it up, especially on a day like this. No messed up hair. No pillow talk. And wow, does the first lady look good after not being able to freshen up for the past 5 hours. Sex does a body good.

Would You Like To Ride In My Helicopter?

  • It's lucky they have a nice color fax machine at the ranch. Wait! TWO!!!
  • Good thing the helicopter pilot took his helmet with him. Just in case Jack needs it. Master of disguise, Jack Bauer! Keep that sunshield down, it's pretty bright outside.
  • "I'm Ron Franklin, there's my protocol." This, from the guy who averages 99 protocol breaks a day.
  • I'd hate to think that a pilot for the President would choose his own life over the President's. If he would've thought about it, he could've let Jack shoot him, which would cause a stir in the whole helicopter.
  • From the absurdity file #4 – Now that the helicopter is WAY off course, is anyone besdies Chloe trakcking it? Oh, there they are, 10 minutes behind. They'd be on them in one minute, if not less.

Where ARE All Of These Abandoned Warehouses?

  • The sun is already coming up at 6:15? I think in episode one, the sun was coming up at 7:00.
  • Need more evidence? How about you just call the phone number that is logged in his cell phone over 200000000 times in the past 24 hours?
  • The Secret Service wouldn't take Jack into custody, they'd kill him. He had the President held hostage at gun point.

Good Bye Palmer

  • The helicopter sure did get back on track fast. Wouldn't the President be taken to some type of de-briefing zone? Or put on Air Force One and be flown around for the next several hours? How soon we forget 9/11.
  • Did they really shoot machine guns for the 21-gun salute?
  • Full sunlight at 6:45 in the morning?
  • "I can't believe you're really here," says Audrey. I can't believe that Audrey is still standing after a day like this.

The Final Twist!!!

  • Jack has a phone call from his daughter at the warehouse he was taken into custody at. Never-mind that she SOMEHOW got that phone number or where Jack was. You idiot. You walked right into that.
  • "I found this in edgar's possesions..." Why were you going through his stuff, Bill?
  • What exactly is a long memory?
  • I agree with Jack's plea, kill him. He's not THAT valuable.

And there you have it. The end of another looooooooong season. I thought we'd never get to see the Chinese come back into it, so that was a nice twist. It WAS the most action-packed season so far, but man, they're setting the bar awfully high. Let's see, we shot Palmer, killed off Michelle, killed terrorists at an airport, gassed a mall, tried to kill the Russian President, gassed CTU, killed junkies, blew up a prominent office building server room, killed Tony, blew up a gas plant, landed a plane on a highway, broke onto/gassed a sub, thwarted that, AND kidnapped the President.

Some one pinch me, next season will rot.

Monday, May 22, 2006

24 Season 5: Episodes 21 and 22 Recaps
(Hours 3:00 a.m. - 5:00 a.m.)

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

It’s the night of the two-hour season finale. We’re almost done, people, almost done. I’ve finally figured out a good comparison for 24. 24 is to TV, what the Batman franchise was to movies – it was awesome at first (Burton, Keaton and Nicholson), but then became a pile of crap and very laughable. You really have to check your brain at the door and just ignore many stupid things. I didn’t take too detailed of notes this week, I’m just saving it up for the finale. Here are the most absurd notes from the last two episodes:

  • The President doesn’t want to kill innocent people on a plane, but is fine with gasing people to death in a mall and hospital.
  • VCI Distress signal... this is completely made up.
  • They only send one plane to shoot down the passenger plane? I doubt that.
  • The plane needs 5000 feet to land, needs to slow down, the dissent was too steep... but they made it... good thing there was NO ONE driving on the highway at that time (maybe the curfew was finally working)?
  • Let’s see, I don’t think Federal Agents outweigh Military in a time of martial law, especially when you have orders from the President.
  • Right, yet another bad guy that has infiltrated CTU. Why do they need to transfer Bierko at 3:30am? That’s right, for plot reasons.
  • Audrey has the immune system of a god. That’s twice today that she’s bounced back from near death situations. Impressive. If she and Jack mate, their babies would be superhumans.
  • Miles has one of those erase digital data gadgets, cool. But I didn’t know that magnets lit up like that.
  • The transport was taken out by an IED. Oh, makes sense. What’s that? And where was the military during that?
  • One canister was held back, possible. The guy just grabs it in his arms with no protective suit or gloves, that goes against how they’ve handled the canitsters all day long.
  • It’s a shame that CTU constantly finds themselves in situations where they have to give deals to criminals.
  • A Phoenix Shield!?! This guy has a crazy firewall and tons of super scanning software. But doesn’t have any type of dectection stuff on his roof-top?
  • Jack can jimmy open any lock with his skeleton key knife.
  • There’s a Russian Nuculer sub at a non-military port in LA, during a martial law situation, and there’s about 7 guys protecting the ship?

Get ready, the finale should be a barn-burner.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Official 24 Season Finale Drinking Game

With the season finale lurking in the shadows, I found an interesting article in today’s Kansas City Star. The idea is to have a 24 season finale party. But they talk about making a 24-themed drink or buffet. Boooooring.

The best part of the article was the idea of taking a drink when certain things occured during the show. So why not blow this out a little bit more?

The Ofiicial 24 Season Finale Drinking Game

When the following items occur during the two-hour finale of 24 (May 22, 8 p.m. Eastern), take a drink:

  • A clock appears
  • A CTU phone rings
  • The president acts like an idiot
  • Chloe grimaces
  • Something is uploaded to Jack’s PDA
  • Chloe sets up a VPN, hacks into something, or anything nerdy sounding
  • Anyone gives an ETA in an interval of five minutes
  • Anyone drives across LA in 10 minutes, or less

When the following items occur during the two-hour finale of 24, finish your drink:

  • Jack breaks the law
  • There’s a CTU security breakdown
  • Anything that would not happen in our real-life government
  • Yet another main bad guy is revealed
  • Jack tortures someone
  • Audrey dies

When the following items occur during the two-hour finale of 24, swear off 24 for ever:

  • Audrey survives
  • They show previews for next season
  • Kim returns
  • Mandy, the sexy assassin, doesn’t return

Have fun.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

24 Season 5: Episodes 18, 19 and 20 Recaps
(Hours 12:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m.)

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Wow. Three whole weeks worth of 24 in one day. Talk about torture – and not the good kind (from Jack). So I’ve been super busy lately, I apologize. Fortunately for us, 24 has remained pretty lame. Instead of nit-picking the entire trio of episodes, I’m just going to run down the things that stood out and occurred over and over... which in itself could be a pretty long list.

What DOES Martial Law Mean?
Seriously. I’ve never lived under Martial Law, but I’m going to assume that it’s more tenacious than this....

  • How neat, President Logan uses a Razr cell phone. He’s not too worried about all phones being tapped or monitored? I’d think a cell phone wouldn’t be too safe during a time of Martial Law.
  • Jack’s running around LA in a stolen cop car. Oh, it also has bullet holes in it. Yet he’s not seen by any other law enforcement people, military or does he ever go through any check point? Not even when he goes to an airport? Wouldn’t private airports be under super security (because apparently private ones aren’t)?
  • Defense Secretary Heller would not be left alone during a time of Martial Law. Nor would he be able to land at any airport (much less strike it from the records) without some sort of military approval.
  • Why is Heller driving a car by himself? Shouldn’t he have escorts?
  • It seems like everyone gets around LA really easily by car. So why do they sometimes take helicopters? I can only assume for plot reasons. Also, do you think that random helicopters would be able to fly around a city under Martial Law?

Technology Rulez!
The ever-expanding list of amazing CTU/24-based technology continues.

  • Mike is using a Sprint phone to watch the President’s latest news bites. Why not just turn on the TV, it’d be much cheaper?
  • “Damn she’s good, she set up a proprietary comm channel,” says Miles, after he completes the quickest phone trace ever.
  • Chloe’s going to access CTU’s sub net and set up a VPN so that phone calls are untraceable. Riiiiight.
  • It’s good to know that anyone with know-how can access secret security satellites.
  • What did Henderson do with the recording? He won’t say? Oh, just have Chloe pull satellite recordings, then you’ll know.
  • All that nerd talk from Miles means that he knows what he’s talking about... so don’t question it people!
  • They found Chloe with some super fancy map-tracking software. Yes, they can track physical IP locations within seconds and cycle through tons of road maps to show locations.
  • How is it that Miles could trace Chloe at Bill’s house, but can’t now that she’s in a hotel bar?

CTU: the Haven for Criminals
Not only will terrorists continue to break into, and out of, CTU... but it’s just not a safe place in general (thinking back to previous season’s of bombings and nerve gas attacks).

  1. It’s a good thing that Chloe is a good pickpocket.
  2. Why is it that when figures of authority are talking to guards, they always go into another room?
  3. How lucky was it that a laptop was just laying around?
  4. Tell me how Chloe just walks out of CTU after being placed in custody with no hassle?
  5. Better yet, how does she get to Bill’s house so quickly and without military consequence?

Escape from Van Nuys + The Stowaway
Jack makes yet another escape after being in custody (further proving his ability to escape good and evil).

  • The pipe is so hot that it’s smoking the plastic cuffs, but not burning Jack’s skin?
  • Guard One: Mark, status report.
    Guard Two: Same as the last 25 times you called. I’m just walking around NOT guarding the prisoners. Yes, they’re still in a room by themselves.
  • We all know that Jack is a good shot from 50 feet away... with a handgun. I’m just hoping that the helicopter’s spinning blades don’t alter where the bullets go.
  • Why in the world would Jack put a tourniquet on and then remove it seconds later (to check on it)?
  • Jack sneaks onto the tarmac by being on top of a truck. Which rules since his phone isn’t on vibrate.
  • How is Jack hiding on a damn plane? Not only that, but how does he just knock-out a US Marshall?
  • How did the pilot know the marshall was knocked out? The flight attendant only said that he was assaulted (which, if you look it up, doesn’t mean knocked out).
  • WHAT!?! Jack can control how a plane flies through the luggage department? Brilliant!

... and the Kitchen Sink

  • Audrey used a pay phone that’s located on a tarmac... Name me one pay phone you’ve seen in the past three weeks, then name me one pay phone that you’ve EVER seen on a tarmac. And where are all the airport workers? Planes don’t just drive around airports without supervision.
  • Irony at its best – Jack kicks the asses of so many terrorists, yet gets chopped down by Heller.
  • How did Henderson smash into a barn and hit his head on the steering wheel? Wouldn’t the airbag deploy?
  • With as much cell phone usage that these people imploy, it’s surprising that their phones and PDAs don’t die.
  • Where is Bill hiding Wayne Palmer?
  • The hotel bar is open, and relatively busy, at 2 a.m.?

First there was The Syndicate on The X-Files. Then there was the The Company on Prison Break. Now, there’s this small group that apparently calls the shots. Bore. Ugh, only four episodes and five hours to go. What could possibly go wrong now?