Monday, April 11, 2005

It's Getting Worse

Why do I keep torturing myself like this? I now have the computer on my lap as I watch the episodes, pausing the show to jot down all of my thoughts. I show no mercy and I'm picking at it to death. I'm sure you can do this with a lot of shows on television, but I choose this one because it has so much potential on being cool and fun... and fails. I'm not sure if I liked last week's numbered entry, so I'm gonna do it like I had previously:

  • Air Force One Is Wacky!
    "This is Air Force One... we are declaring an emergency." What you didn't know is no Government agency in the United States can do anything regarding Air Force One until an "emergency" is declared... I guess. Alright CTU, you heard the plane, now figure out something ingenious on how to save it.

    "Why did the signal fade? Why did we lose contact?" I'm not entirely certain, maybe BECAUSE THEY'RE CRASHING! And for the record, I'm pretty sure that simply changing the frequency isn't going to help regain contact. Whoops, I was wrong! I guess it's kinda like those portable phones you had in the house... the ones were you could change the "channel" you were talking on... did that ever work for anyone?
  • Hide, The Satellites Are Watching!
    Within 5 seconds of Air Force One going down, Audrey walks into the room and says that she has satellite photos from DOD of scattered ground flashes. In case anyone was wondering... yes, the DOD has real-time satellite imaging. It doesn't seem fair that CTU had to watch their Atari Satellite Radar screen when those two agencies are working so closely on this day.
  • The Winner Is...
    Doing his best Bush-during-the-September-11th-attacks impersonation, the award for Doing Absolutely Nothing in a Major Crisis goes to the Vice President! Please sir, accept this award with the promise that you will continue doing nothing for this country when its President could possibly be dead. There is such a thing as a temporary swearing in... I saw it on The West Wing! And yes, It's official, the VP is a wuss. I think he crapped his pants when he was told that he had to invoke the Twenty-Fifth Amendment and take over. That's leadership folks! He wouldn't listen to his friend of 15 years (Muppet Man – doesn't he look like the Bald Eagle dude from The Muppet Show?), but now that it's confirmed that the Pres is in bad shape, he'll go change his diaper and get sworn in. One more thing, yes, Muppet Man did stuff without your permission... since you were so busy STANDING AROUND IN YOUR OFFICE DOING NOTHING.
  • All The King's Horses
    The DOD's "Top Priority" is to get the football back. So, Edgar readied the "team" and they promptly took off. The "team" flies all the way to the power facility and are ready to encounter the terrorists. It's the four bad guys versus the two, yes TWO, CTU agents. Now THAT's a team! I don't even think doubles tennis people are called teams, merely pairs. Anyway, go kick some butt guys and then answer this: why didn't you blow up the Jeeps when you arrived at the power plant? That way, the terrorists can't escape in the only other mode of transportation!
  • From Jason To Kelly
    Kelly is one HEAVY sleeper! She slept through a large plane crashing no more than 50 yards from their tent. Jason, on the other hand, woke up to what he thought was an explosion... but wasn't sure what he heard. It didn't seem to bother him too much, he was ready to go "make a baby." I know that some people can sleep through a lot of noise, but a PLANE crash? But, to back them up, the plane debris wasn't too scattered... I guess that "24" defers to "Lost" on how to make a plane crash look really good.

    When, oh when, will we get reception as good as the government gets? The CIA, or Secret Service, agents had ZERO problems talking to Jack just minutes after the crash, but Kelly's cell phone barely gets a signal? That signal never cut out during the rest of the episode... and that could've an interesting twist. Way to take advantage, writers!

    The entire conversation between Jason and Jack... lame. They're inserting dialogue to show how smart they are... educating the viewers, so to speak. So, Jason HAS to remove the transponder... it's a good thing he brought the compass with them to check out the plane crash. Wait, he had a compass but not a knife? Take his Totem Chip away!

Random Bits

  • Whoa... wait! That's it? The Stealth Fighter was spotted and shot down? That quickly!?! Talk about not renewing someone's contract or wanting to pay some extra royalties. This was a MAJOR storyline!
  • Good lord, Michelle. I think this is the fourth episode in a row where you tell everyone to re-focus their efforts on finding Marwan. I think everyone, including people who don't watch the damn show, know that by now.
  • The rescue teams are finally inside Air Force One, which looks to be a hollowed hull of a plane – there are papers scattered everywhere and hardly anything else... except bodies. It's no wonder that so many people are dead, there were no seats for them to sit in!
  • "Its got a funny name. I read this article once. It's got our nuclear codes." Good writing, or bad acting? I suspect both.
  • Was Jack was really going to put Audrey on call-waiting?
  • How far away is LA from this crash site? Marwan made the trip in less than an hour and Jack is flying via helicopter in less than 30 minutes... is this right or are we in time-warp land again?
  • The power station is un-manned and Jack said to turn off their flashlights – to avoid drawing attention to themselves. Good thing all of the lights are on.
  • How long does it take you guys to turn on your cell phone? It takes me about 15 seconds... that's when the battery is in. Jason managed to insert his battery, turn the cell phone on AND make a phone call in seconds. Also... reception in the desert sucked, but inside a large concrete power facility... it's perfect. Remember that.
  • Jack kicked the gun away from the dead guy this time. What's wrong Jack, can't handle being shot at from a dead guy twice in the same long ass day?
  • "There are thousands of warheads, it'll take an hour to clear the slate." No problem, Air Force One crashed one hour ago so you should be about done... right? Or are you meaning an hour from NOW, which would give the terrorists (aka Marwan, since everyone that tries to help him dies) an entire episode to get a warhead next week?

So, this isn't quite in the same vein as "Super Size Me" or "The Pepsi Spice Project," but damn...

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