24: The Game

It was only a matter of time before this happened. I’m actually surprised that this wasn’t made a long time ago, but it makes perfect sense and should generate some sales from the real die-hard fans. That’s right, feast your eyes on 24: The Game.

Here’s the official game synopsis from IGN:

Based on the action-packed television series, 24: The Game is set between seasons two and three of the TV show and provides the answers to several unanswered questions: Who was really behind the assassination attempt on President Palmer? How did Kim Bauer get a job in the L.A. CTU? How did Jack Bauer and Chase Edmunds first start working together? Penned by 24 episode writer Duppy Demetrius and voiced by stars Kiefer Sutherland, Carlos Bernard, and Kiefer Sutherland, 24 boasts more than 100 missions told through several branching subplots. Gameplay includes on-foot sections (with shooting, stealth, puzzles, and sniping), driving sequences, interrogations, and technical challenges. The game even uses the unique visual style of the television show with multi-panel windows showing concurrent plot developments.

Booyah. Imagine playing a game of 24! You could actually waste more than 24 hours!!!

But let’s take a look at the REAL synopsis that they didn’t want you to read...

Based on the action-packed television series, 24: The Game is set between seasons two and three of the TV show and provides the answers to several unanswered questions: Who was really behind the assassination attempt on President Palmer? (Uh... it was sexy Mandy! We know you really don’t care otherwise. Just give the fanboys more Mandy, right!?!) How did Kim Bauer get a job in the L.A. CTU? (By sleeping with Jack? To give us shitty storylines to explore? So Elisha Cuthbert could cut her hair? We needed an excuse to bring the Mountain Lion back? You tell us!) How did Jack Bauer and Chase Edmunds first start working together? (Do you need a video game to answer this? Chase got hired at CTU and was assigned to Jack. Sorry if this spoiled a big part of the game, sucker.) Penned by 24 episode writer Duppy Demetrius (So expect crappy dialogue, did you see the game trailer?) and voiced by stars Kiefer Sutherland, Carlos Bernard, and Kiefer Sutherland (Yes, Kiefer did voice it twice!), 24 boasts more than 100 missions told through several branching subplots. Gameplay includes on-foot sections (with shooting, stealth, puzzles, two-handed gun toting, running while toting a gun two-handed and sniping), driving sequences, interrogations (Yeah baby! Kill ’em!), how to teleport in the city, not eat an entire day when becoming addicted to heroin, using fancy technological terms incorrectly and technical challenges. The game even uses the unique visual style of the television show with multi-panel windows showing concurrent plot developments. Only idiots will buy this game. Well, idiot PS2 owners, since we couldn’t get Nintendo and/or Microsoft to pick this game up. But you’ll like it and you’ll think you’re smarter than the people who haven’t seen the cool in-between story!