Monday, January 15, 2007

24 Season 6: Episodes 3 & 4 Recap
(Hours 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.)

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Phew! We made it through the first four episodes, and what excitement! While the first two episodes didn't really falter too badly in the acting department, episodes three and four showed us that 24 is truly just a fun ride where no stock is put into good acting or believable writing. What they writers didn't do too much in the first half of the premiere, they more than made up for in the second half. The name of the game this season is predictable and re-run plots, what's the fun in writing new stuff?

24k ETAs
Hey everyone, don't forget this show is a 24 hour show. That means we'll have 24 one-hour episodes. And THAT means that we can actually tie time frames to actions. What actions you ask? How about meeting the demands of placing prisoners on a plan within one hour? Or maybe, that it'll take Chloe at least 10 minutes to get the satellites tracking again? Ooo, here's another one, it shouldn't take you more than 30 minutes to deliver the package to Fayed. Need another? It won't take longer than 20 minutes to assemble the bomb.

Was it beaten over your head enough?

Kumar Goes to the White Castle, In the Sky
Kumar has finally (yes, it's finally over) ended his dramatic run on 24. But not before he gave us a silly plot line that was designed to get more characters into the show. First off, he was so badly hurt, that he couldn't possibly go and deliver the package himself. Which means he had to send someone else to do his dirty work while he held the other two hostage. So while Kumar lounges on the couch and pops pain pills, he sends super dad to pick up the package (if you didn't know, anyone can walk in and pick up a part that costs somewhere in the $100k range, don't worry about names). Oh no! The guy won't sell the package, but Kumar doesn't care... so you better kill someone. Okay, he did it, now Kumar will let the family go, right?No, he can't, because if he does, then "he'll have no leverage to negotiate," duh.

As if that story-line and acting wasn't justification enough to kill off Kumar, here's the real reason he was done in. He couldn't muster enough guts to kill someone. CAN WE PLEASE WRITE IN SOME TERRORISTS WITH BALLS?

CTU is a Joke
It's funny to see CTU teeter back and forth from extremely reliable to very laughable.

  • At one point CTU received a phone call from Fayed that was on a "scrambled channel." Please recall that it was the same phone that Fayed has used before AND is the same phone that they've somehow picked up conversations from in the previous episode.
  • Remember when Bill threatened to fire Morris and Chloe, but didn't because they were short on man power? Well, not two hours later Milo is about to fire Morris just because he doesn't give a damn.
  • Can someone tell me why it is that every time Jack calls in to CTU, that he reaches someone different? Is there no front desk help there? Oh, maybe not, they are short on man power.
  • What do you mean it'll take Chloe at least ten minutes to get satellite coverage because she had to send the repositioning orders from the sub-server... whatever that is? How about you just get Morris in there with his dinky private satellite to cover things? This is CTU, how can they not have access to a bazillion satellites?
  • Speaking of satellites, their super sophisticated ones can track a single person running around.
  • I won't even mention how absurd it is that Milo dated Chloe.

What!?! Curtis went Nutso? You Don't Say!
From the second Curtis started giving lip about Jack working with Assad, if you didn't see his eminent ending coming, then I don't know what show you were watching. What's worse, it took nearly an hour of action and dialogue to finally arrive at the point where Curtis about blows his lid.

But then, Jack saves the day. Yes, he may have been in a Chinese prison for the past 20 months, but he's still the sharpest shooter on the West Coast. So Jack's second kill is his own man. We all knew Curtis would be leaving the show... but what a lousy way to go. Quickly after, Jack vomits up the nothing that is in his stomach – I think it's really that bite of neck that's coming back up.

Questions about Prisoner Transport Buses

  1. Why does a prisoner bus have a bathroom?
  2. Why does a prisoner bus have one driver and one guard?
  3. How does a prisoner get from the shackled seats into the bathroom without anyone noticing?
  4. Is anybody else asking these questions?

That Was the Bomb
It took us six years to get to this point – a nuclear bomb exploding on US soil (unless you count season two, where one exploded in the desert). I already don't care about the rest of this season, I'm more concerned with what they'll do next year! Well, anyway. Tell me why an air strike was planned to kill Assad, but when they're trying to get Fayed, they send in a ground unit? Wow, did 24 shoot their wad already? No no no, because there are FOUR MORE SUITCASE BOMBS!!! Wait, didn't they say that there was only one in existence? And if the only person who can create detonators just died, how will Fayed set off the other ones?

More Overly-Used Plot Lines

  • Why is there always a sub-plot where a family member is fucking something up? Case in point, Kim. Case in point, the daughter that was bi-polar. Case in point, the druggie hooker sister. Case in point, Sister Palmer, super lawyer.
  • For explosion #4 (hour three), how does THAT much ammunition from a foreign country get into the US without us noticing?
  • How do laptops constantly survive giant explosions?
  • How do PDAs constantly survive giant explosions?
  • How many times in the past five seasons have we heard this muttered, "I need to see the contract terms in writing?"

The Kitchen Sink

  • Best line from episode three – As Jack runs up to take a new vehicle, he throws a guy to the ground and says, "don't get up."
  • "Trust me," is quickly being replaced with, "we're going to do everything we can..." – Jack said it three times in episode four.
  • Has anyone realized that Jack is still using a cell phone that isn't his?
  • Product Placement – Volkswagon, U-Haul, Apple

Okay, we're officially one sixth through the season. How does everyone feel about the season so far?


Tom said...

I'm downloading them in the Uk and I'm finding it very fun and enjoyable however I agree with your points about all the errors even though the ending of the last episode left me really looking forward to the next I had a damn good laugh reading your post about it.

Anonymous said...

I am a die-hard 24 fan, I love the show. But your comments were hilarious. Keen observations! I guess a lot of people just watch it for the sake of watching it and don't think too deep into it.

Anonymous said...

You are great! I love your posts, keep up the good bashing!

Anonymous said...

I don't watch this show, but since everyone goes ape noise over it, I thought I would check it out, and watch the first four episodes. Ye gods, this show sucks!

There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to anything anyone does. The writers are constantly reminding everyone about how this show is real time, and then stringing together scenes that couldn't possibly happen in real time (moving around LA in rush hour at breakneck speed? are they using hovercrafts or something?) The acting is atrocious.

The very first scene is rediculous. Jack Bauer needs to be sacrificed so that they can find the terrorists. Why? They acted like there was no other way to find a terrorist on US soil, even though he's walking the streets of LA. Bauer found him in, what, 30 minutes? Did they really need to sacrifice the only person working for the government that could string two thoughts together? Then Bauer calls the president to tell him that they are wrong about the terrorist, and that he is actually working for them, but the president just shrugs and ORDERS A HELICOPTER ATTACK ON A RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD! What the hell is that? Nobody in America cares that the government just blew up half a block of houses? It didn't even make the news! There was no police response!

Suffice to say that I felt dumber and kind of dirty after watching the first three hours, and I couldn't make the 4th. Ugh. Good shows like The Wire go unnoticed, and this crap has everyone in conniptions. What Ever.

Anonymous said...

I've been a 24 fan since day 1, and the best word I've come up to describe it is craptastic.

There is no debating that the show is completely unrealistic, but once you get past stuff like a grown woman being outsmarted by a cougar, the show is such a blast.

Anonymous said...

I am glad that this blog exists to point out how ridiculous this show is sometimes.

It's unbelievable to me, after nearly two years in a Chinese prison, that Jack can :

- use a gun (that shot on Curtis..)
- drive a car (ramming that car)
- remember CTU's phone number
- remember all the local roads
- still have all his relaxes
- speech articulation after he didn't say a word in China

And, one more thing, STOP making Jack a God and everyone else on the show are complete morons!!

KC (

Anonymous said...

And, one more thing, STOP making Jack a God and everyone else on the show are complete morons!!

I agree in that statement above from another blogger. The second centre of this show seem to be the President with some major player of his administrative staff and almost every other government should just accept his (still to see a women to play the presidential role) demand without question. Where the heck are the European in this time of Global war against terror? As far as I can see this show only focus on american society and have left out the rest of the world. Yes we have BIG China and to lesser degree ol' Russia and that is all the World? Where is UN, NORAD and the rest of the World?

I think the writer of this show made Jack Bauer to look like a late (post)modern superman and the President to be somewhat of a God like creature who can be Satan in a good-looking suite to times like former President Logan. Who cares? Let the show go on, must be this sitcoms biggest asset, as long as you can blow something up...