24 Season 7: The First Episode Script Synopsis

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Things are popping up in the 24 news world. Loyal reader Jonk has pointed me to a television forum that has a synopsis of the first episode for season seven (look for Post #4334). Apparently news from previous seasons have ended up on the forum and 90% of the time, that news pans out to be true.

Now I've just read the synopsis, and here's what I think (WARNING: Even though this is rumored material, I wouldn't read past here unless you're okay knowing about next season):

The show's producers knew that they had to change 24 up. In fact, please recall that they were going to "reinvent" the show. How'd they do it? Here's a synopsis of the synopsis:

• The location is in Washington D.C., not L.A.
  That means that instead of smog in the backgrounds of shots, we'll have the Capitol building (which is mentioned). Jack is still driving around, even though DC has a pretty good mass transit system, but this time the size of the city won't be overly daunting for time travel. This also puts us REALLY close to the White House, which is always a good thing in the 24 world.
• Jack no longer works for CTU
  I guess he was finally done with death and working with the government. So now, he works for a defense contractor – who may, or may not, be selling arms to Muslims and/or rogue African nations. What a stretch this will be from the job he had with Heller in season five.
• Jack's boss and another defense contractor hate each other
  There's your first sign of a bad rub. Jack's boss thinks this other dude is setting him up and sends Jack to figure out what's going on... because Jack's new job is as an Investigator? Unfortunately, even his own boss wants him dead and sends people to kill Jack. So there's a shoot-out, in the streets of DC. Good thing Jack still carries a weapon around... in DC... when he's probably constantly talking to lobbyists and senators.
• Jack's got a new chicky
  They're totally doing it in the first episode (at least its not 60 year olds), too. Then he leaves and she pulls the ole "I'm sleeping with you only to get information for my employer," routine. But Jack was playing the, "I know exactly what you're doing, so I'm giving you fake information but making you think that I'm giving you real information... ha ha ha, you dumb bitch... you're a bad lay, anyway," routine. Backstabbing by a lover, this is totally a new twist in 24 (see Nina in season one, see Invasion Chick/Hornball in season six).
• Chloe and Morris aren't at CTU anymore
  They're now at Division. With child (Gwenyth). I don't really understand this move. Why do you promote two employees who were constant sources of mess ups at CTU? We all know the place was understaffed, so when enemies hacked into the CTU computers, there's only a handful of people to blame. Chances are, the whiney chick who hates Division and the alcoholic will be blamed first. Oh, but get this, in the first episode, Division gets hacked! That's quite the track record they bring with them to DC. And the only reason the writers gave the baby a name is because there will be some story line with her involved.
• The rumors of a female president are true
  It's only fair. The show has had both a white and black male president. It's time for some estrogen in the White House. Let's also make her despise her husband and make that into a major story line. We've never seen the President and their First Mate ever have problems (see David Palmer vs. Sherry, see Grizzly Logan vs. psycho).
• Old faces return
  It's been said that Bill and Karen will return in episode two.

Talk about reinventing 24. Reading the synopsis, I almost had no clue as to what the show was. It sounded SO DIFFERENT than previous years. Yes, that's sarcasm and I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Honestly, this sounds like the same song in a different pitch. The writers can't seem to ween themselves away from the Middle East, the White House, backstabbing plots, computer hacking troubles, shoot-outs in the middle of the street with non-authoritative figures, or anything else we've seen in other seasons of 24. Do the writers think that merely changing the city and making the president a woman reinvents the show? Wow. Hardly in my book.

I'll try to withhold judgement until I actually see the first episode in January. But if this pans out to be true, then I'm already down on the season and what FOX has done to make the show better. Aka, nothing.