Monday, March 06, 2006

24 Season 5: Episodes 11 and 12 Recaps
(Hours 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.)

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

What a treat! You gotta love double-episodes. You also gotta love the episodes where it switches from day to night in 10 minutes (because that’s how it works in real life). Now that we’re officially half-way into the season, I think it’s safe to say we’ve reached a turning point... unfortunately, it’s all downhill from here.

Don’t Tell Tony The Babysitter’s Dead
Well it’s about time that Tony woke up... we’ve been alluding to it for 11 episodes now. I thought Jack needed to know as soon as Tony woke up, because he needed to get information from him. Guess it’s not that big of a deal now. Just like not telling Tony that his wife is dead. For good reason, I suppose, he’s been through a lot today. No worries, but feel free to go ahead and give him classified information about the nerve gas, the ex-CTU agent and the terrorists. I mean, he was almost EXPLODED to death, but after a 10 hour nap, I think I’d be up for hearing that stuff AND walking around. No sweat. But tell me why was Tony brought to CTU if you weren’t going to share the information with him in the first place? Ohhhhh, so he could get stuck in the medical wing with Henderson.

Lynn’s Loophole Is Shown
Remember when I asked how Lynn got back into CTU without his access card? Yeah, I remember, too. But 24 was betting that none of you would remember. I’m not so sure how Lynn’s druggie sister and her boyfriend were so connected, but they sure did have the inside scoop on some major terrorist flow. But why did the LAPD just happen to go to the druggie apartment? No good reason... except to inform Lynn at CTU that his sister was dead, so he could tell Bill that his access card was stolen, so they knew CTU had been compromised, etc etc etc...

The Showdown: CTU Nerds vs. Terrorist Nerds
In what could be the biggest heavyweight bout of the year, let’s pit CTU’s technologies vs. the Terrorists’...

  • CTU has face-recognition software that can match a security camera picture (one received from a hospital in two minuets, or one obtained from their own internal cameras in OVER FIVE) to a database in less than 30 seconds.
  • Terrorists have guys who can tweak nerve gas canister timers AND drive to a hospital in less than ten minutes (not to mention arrive, get inside and dress like a nurse).
  • CTU has software that takes about a minute to pull up an agent’s record. And if that agent is deceased, if you wait about ten additional seconds, it will post digital photos of the dead body.
  • Terrorists have rule-breaking codes that allow them to use cell phones in radiology areas.
  • CTU has analysts that can hack into computers, but none that can get inside of an interlaced encryption key. That’s tough. But what exactly is an interlaced encryption key? Nobody knows.
  • Terrorists have guys who set timers for too long. Why not just set the canister to go off while you’re there? Die for your cause!
  • CTU has bomb squads that try to defuse nerve gas canisters with electrical magic wands. And when that doesn’t work, they do the next coolest thing... run through a hospital with the actual bomb.
  • Terrorists have guys that can hack into CTU. Not only that, but they can take access cards, read the information on it, change it, and use it to get into CTU.
  • CTU has a normal parking lot like any regular company in America.
  • Terrorists have switches on their nerve gas canisters marked "maximize casualties," used for maximizing casualties.

It’s a draw.

That Sneaky Terrorist: A Time Log
Entry 1 (00:00) – I broke into CTU, lucky they don’t have scanning procedures to get in... sheesh, I can’t even take my favorite knife on plane trips anymore... but I can bring nerve gas canisters into CTU!
Entry 2 (08:00) – It took me eight minutes to find the basement. I had to pee first, but I got some on my pants and the hand dryer was broken. Talk about embarrassing.
Entry 3 (17:00) – This is taking longer than I thought... I just now ran the command to find the schematics of CTU on my PDA and transferred it to the laptop that’s down here in the maintenance room (weird place for a computer, don’t you think?). There, ventilation all shut down.
Entry 4 (25:00) – Okay, I just set the timer on the gas canister. This should give me enough time to get out of here. Wait... okay, just stabbed a snooping nerd chick with my Rambo knife. Gotta jet.

Jack Learned "Everything" From Henderson
It’s his old boss, how couldn’t he have learned all he knows from him? Here are some things I bet Jack DIDN’T learn:

  • How to have a life at CTU and a wife at home... Jack’s been through, what, 4 girls on the show now?
  • Belay that last point, Jack never learned to NOT care for their wife (though he could’ve learned that from President Logan, too – is that a theme this season? To not care about your wife?).
  • Jack will never learn how to do this... Henderson somehow found out how to a) link a remote detonator to destroy a bomb AND wipe a hard drive clean, b) keep one socket open to transfer files to another computer, c) destroy a server room, yet maintain that socket on the hard-driveless computer. Wow.

Kim Is Finally Back
Nothing really interesting here. Except the boyfriend, who’s full name was said about five times. Think they’re trying to make us remember that?

Presidents, US, Russian and Alike...
Blah blah, terrorists attack, blah blah, no heightened security, blah blah, the Vice Pres shows up, blah blah, they’re still running the country with three people.

Lock, Stock and CTU It Down
I liked the locking down of CTU. Though it was pretty lame that Chloe was able to lock down three rooms (one for Jack and co., one for Lynn and one for the medical wing). And how "sad" was it when we watched Edgar kick the bucket (and not Chloe) and how lamer was it when there was no beeps to end the show. I’m sorry, but that evoked zero emotions from me except anger... if I wasn’t watching, how did I know the show was over!?!

Well, like I mentioned, we’re over half-way done with the season. Rejoice! More insanity coming up in the following 12 episodes, I’ll catalog it all right here.


Nelson said...

Oh C'mon! You have to be somewhat impressed with them killing off Edgar!

My first big loophole thought is this: if Lynn is temporarily relieved from duty, why does his keycard still work? They got Tony's wife's profile updated pretty quickly, but they didn't deactivate Lynn's card? And why did they have to search for the guy? Couldn't they have traced the rooms where bad guy swiped Lynn's card to get in?

And did you see the previews for next week? Where Jack is pointing a gun at a chic? I think you hit the nail on the head in an earlier post: Jack's girlfriend from the first part of the season is back, and she seems to have something to do with all of this.

Anonymous said...

Man, you just keep going! When I find a T.V. show I don't like or can't stand, I usually stop watching it. I don't spend so much time nit picking it down to its atoms and pointing out everything I think makes it a terrible show. But, obviously, your concoern isn't with it being a terrible show. It's showing everybody how superior your intellect is and showing them things that they couldn't possibly have noticed and still enjoyed the show. Guess what-No one really cares. If you don't like the show, don't watch it. Idiot.