Sunday, May 07, 2006

24 Season 5: Episodes 18, 19 and 20 Recaps
(Hours 12:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m.)

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Wow. Three whole weeks worth of 24 in one day. Talk about torture – and not the good kind (from Jack). So I’ve been super busy lately, I apologize. Fortunately for us, 24 has remained pretty lame. Instead of nit-picking the entire trio of episodes, I’m just going to run down the things that stood out and occurred over and over... which in itself could be a pretty long list.

What DOES Martial Law Mean?
Seriously. I’ve never lived under Martial Law, but I’m going to assume that it’s more tenacious than this....

  • How neat, President Logan uses a Razr cell phone. He’s not too worried about all phones being tapped or monitored? I’d think a cell phone wouldn’t be too safe during a time of Martial Law.
  • Jack’s running around LA in a stolen cop car. Oh, it also has bullet holes in it. Yet he’s not seen by any other law enforcement people, military or does he ever go through any check point? Not even when he goes to an airport? Wouldn’t private airports be under super security (because apparently private ones aren’t)?
  • Defense Secretary Heller would not be left alone during a time of Martial Law. Nor would he be able to land at any airport (much less strike it from the records) without some sort of military approval.
  • Why is Heller driving a car by himself? Shouldn’t he have escorts?
  • It seems like everyone gets around LA really easily by car. So why do they sometimes take helicopters? I can only assume for plot reasons. Also, do you think that random helicopters would be able to fly around a city under Martial Law?

Technology Rulez!
The ever-expanding list of amazing CTU/24-based technology continues.

  • Mike is using a Sprint phone to watch the President’s latest news bites. Why not just turn on the TV, it’d be much cheaper?
  • “Damn she’s good, she set up a proprietary comm channel,” says Miles, after he completes the quickest phone trace ever.
  • Chloe’s going to access CTU’s sub net and set up a VPN so that phone calls are untraceable. Riiiiight.
  • It’s good to know that anyone with know-how can access secret security satellites.
  • What did Henderson do with the recording? He won’t say? Oh, just have Chloe pull satellite recordings, then you’ll know.
  • All that nerd talk from Miles means that he knows what he’s talking about... so don’t question it people!
  • They found Chloe with some super fancy map-tracking software. Yes, they can track physical IP locations within seconds and cycle through tons of road maps to show locations.
  • How is it that Miles could trace Chloe at Bill’s house, but can’t now that she’s in a hotel bar?

CTU: the Haven for Criminals
Not only will terrorists continue to break into, and out of, CTU... but it’s just not a safe place in general (thinking back to previous season’s of bombings and nerve gas attacks).

  1. It’s a good thing that Chloe is a good pickpocket.
  2. Why is it that when figures of authority are talking to guards, they always go into another room?
  3. How lucky was it that a laptop was just laying around?
  4. Tell me how Chloe just walks out of CTU after being placed in custody with no hassle?
  5. Better yet, how does she get to Bill’s house so quickly and without military consequence?

Escape from Van Nuys + The Stowaway
Jack makes yet another escape after being in custody (further proving his ability to escape good and evil).

  • The pipe is so hot that it’s smoking the plastic cuffs, but not burning Jack’s skin?
  • Guard One: Mark, status report.
    Guard Two: Same as the last 25 times you called. I’m just walking around NOT guarding the prisoners. Yes, they’re still in a room by themselves.
  • We all know that Jack is a good shot from 50 feet away... with a handgun. I’m just hoping that the helicopter’s spinning blades don’t alter where the bullets go.
  • Why in the world would Jack put a tourniquet on and then remove it seconds later (to check on it)?
  • Jack sneaks onto the tarmac by being on top of a truck. Which rules since his phone isn’t on vibrate.
  • How is Jack hiding on a damn plane? Not only that, but how does he just knock-out a US Marshall?
  • How did the pilot know the marshall was knocked out? The flight attendant only said that he was assaulted (which, if you look it up, doesn’t mean knocked out).
  • WHAT!?! Jack can control how a plane flies through the luggage department? Brilliant!

... and the Kitchen Sink

  • Audrey used a pay phone that’s located on a tarmac... Name me one pay phone you’ve seen in the past three weeks, then name me one pay phone that you’ve EVER seen on a tarmac. And where are all the airport workers? Planes don’t just drive around airports without supervision.
  • Irony at its best – Jack kicks the asses of so many terrorists, yet gets chopped down by Heller.
  • How did Henderson smash into a barn and hit his head on the steering wheel? Wouldn’t the airbag deploy?
  • With as much cell phone usage that these people imploy, it’s surprising that their phones and PDAs don’t die.
  • Where is Bill hiding Wayne Palmer?
  • The hotel bar is open, and relatively busy, at 2 a.m.?

First there was The Syndicate on The X-Files. Then there was the The Company on Prison Break. Now, there’s this small group that apparently calls the shots. Bore. Ugh, only four episodes and five hours to go. What could possibly go wrong now?


Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you.
24 does really SUCKS!
I really can´t point out how much money the television companies have wasted on creating a such shitty program as this. The funds should rather go to some poor thirdworld country instead of this, THEN we will see the end of all those terroristattacks at the west world that Jack Bauer is all too busy to repell.

Anonymous said...

You're fucking stupid. It's a TV show, it's obviously not gonna be 100% realistic. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Bitch.

Anonymous said...

It's a TV show! You must be getting it confused with "24: The documentary". If you hate it so much why do you watch every episode and waste your time blogging so much about it? And trust me, this heap of poorly written garbage is a waste of time. You're an idiot.
BTW, VCI is not made up, but it is not used correctly in its context. I don't mind though, since I have realised it this is a TV show some time ago.
In case you've forgotten, You're an idiot.