Tuesday, May 23, 2006

24 Season 5: Episodes 23 and 24 Recaps
(Hours 5:00 a.m. - 7:00 a.m.)
Post #50!

WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.

Here we are, at the end of another long day in Jack Bauer's amazing life. It truly is an amazing life. I'm sure that after living the normal life for the past 18 months (we say 18 months because it's cooler than saying 1.5 years), he was chomping at the bit to get back into the fast lane of time travel and insane technology. But alas, the Earth only revolves once every 24 hours, and it's time that we end this mockery of human intelligence.

Too Bad It Wasn't A Yellow Submarine

  • It took just five minutes to kill the entire crew and for the nerve gas to clear? I wasn't aware that submarines had ventalition systems that powerful.
  • "We haven't received any distress signals from the crew..." Right. Remember, you only left seven of them there, that's all.
  • It will take you to 22-25 minutes to scramble fighters!?! You were about to take out a civilian plane in less than five not two hours ago. This is a stationary target. AND you're sending two fighters? What a consistent military.
  • Go Officer Rooney! Make him a killer, Jack! Tell him exactly how to slit someone's throat. Good job. Now tell him that he doesn't have a choice. Good! If only you could kill someone in front of him later on...
  • From the absurdity file – Henderson is going in with Jack.
  • Hey Rooney, if you're 30 feet away from the hatch (read, MAYBE 15), why are you talking out loud?
  • From the absurdity file #2 – * CTU only sends three guys (one of them being a criminal) to stop a terrorist?
  • I must have missed something... When did Henderson get an ear piece?
  • Jack's been legally dead twice now, it's going to take more than two wrench whacks to take him down.
  • Henderson, you fool! YOU FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!!!
  • In what was easily the BEST PART OF THE SEASON, Jack kills Henderson!

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

  • "Mike, I've never been more sober. Or more sane." You've had children lady! Yikes.
  • Mike has been the epitome of not trusting anyone for the past four seasons, why is Mike so eager to help now? Especially without evidence?
  • Aaron says that he'll go somewhere where the President's men can't find him. Good luck with that. He's the PRESIDENT.
  • "He's leaving for Washington around that time." You're the Chief of Staff, Mike, you should know exactly when he's leaving.
  • From the absurdity file #3 – Morris O'Brien, Chloe's ex-husband, is the ONLY person who can effectively break protocol in this situation, and they just give him access into CTU's giant mainframe? Riiiiiiiight.
  • Mike and Aaron drove out, buried a dude, got back AND tried to stop the President from leaving, all in 10 minutes? That's good time efficiency.
  • Yes! OG Sherry Palmer on the TV with David!
  • Jack has been waiting a long time for this... getting to torture the President!
  • How exactly is Jack just driving around on the presidential compound premesis? And is that a Scion?
  • "I don't know how to respond. I never expected you to say anything like that." Sorry dude, she never expected you to kill a former President and help plan out a terrorist attack on US soil. Get over yourself.
  • Why does Jack insist to keep his phone on loud ringer?
  • It took all of five minutes to have sex!?! A guy like him should have trouble getting it up, especially on a day like this. No messed up hair. No pillow talk. And wow, does the first lady look good after not being able to freshen up for the past 5 hours. Sex does a body good.

Would You Like To Ride In My Helicopter?

  • It's lucky they have a nice color fax machine at the ranch. Wait! TWO!!!
  • Good thing the helicopter pilot took his helmet with him. Just in case Jack needs it. Master of disguise, Jack Bauer! Keep that sunshield down, it's pretty bright outside.
  • "I'm Ron Franklin, there's my protocol." This, from the guy who averages 99 protocol breaks a day.
  • I'd hate to think that a pilot for the President would choose his own life over the President's. If he would've thought about it, he could've let Jack shoot him, which would cause a stir in the whole helicopter.
  • From the absurdity file #4 – Now that the helicopter is WAY off course, is anyone besdies Chloe trakcking it? Oh, there they are, 10 minutes behind. They'd be on them in one minute, if not less.

Where ARE All Of These Abandoned Warehouses?

  • The sun is already coming up at 6:15? I think in episode one, the sun was coming up at 7:00.
  • Need more evidence? How about you just call the phone number that is logged in his cell phone over 200000000 times in the past 24 hours?
  • The Secret Service wouldn't take Jack into custody, they'd kill him. He had the President held hostage at gun point.

Good Bye Palmer

  • The helicopter sure did get back on track fast. Wouldn't the President be taken to some type of de-briefing zone? Or put on Air Force One and be flown around for the next several hours? How soon we forget 9/11.
  • Did they really shoot machine guns for the 21-gun salute?
  • Full sunlight at 6:45 in the morning?
  • "I can't believe you're really here," says Audrey. I can't believe that Audrey is still standing after a day like this.

The Final Twist!!!

  • Jack has a phone call from his daughter at the warehouse he was taken into custody at. Never-mind that she SOMEHOW got that phone number or where Jack was. You idiot. You walked right into that.
  • "I found this in edgar's possesions..." Why were you going through his stuff, Bill?
  • What exactly is a long memory?
  • I agree with Jack's plea, kill him. He's not THAT valuable.

And there you have it. The end of another looooooooong season. I thought we'd never get to see the Chinese come back into it, so that was a nice twist. It WAS the most action-packed season so far, but man, they're setting the bar awfully high. Let's see, we shot Palmer, killed off Michelle, killed terrorists at an airport, gassed a mall, tried to kill the Russian President, gassed CTU, killed junkies, blew up a prominent office building server room, killed Tony, blew up a gas plant, landed a plane on a highway, broke onto/gassed a sub, thwarted that, AND kidnapped the President.

Some one pinch me, next season will rot.


danny said...

I totally agree with you man. Jack really is one lucky sonofagun. Anyway, the season finale just so totally suck. I am really disappointed with the writers.

They were really lazy at the end of season 5.

Anonymous said...