WARNING: The following post may, and probably will, contain spoilers.
Is everyone tired of torture? Lucky you, there wasn't any in this episode. But for those of you who are tired of family members being involved, well, sorry. No dice.
That's No Moon Field Agent
When last we saw Milo, he was driving like a bat out of hell in a faux FedEx van. Not only that, but he blew up the van with the crate of grenades that happened to be in there (standard issue for CTU vans, by the way). How exactly does Milo follow up such brilliance? If it's up to Poor Man's Ryan Reynolds (Daddy Bauer's man, Hacker), whatever Milo does is Busch League, because it's obvious that he wasn't trained as a field agent. Here's how we know that:
- Field agents don't drive CTU vans backwards, through little league baseball fields, or over playground toys.
- Field agents don't blow up their own vans.
- Field agents don't stop and hide in a wide-open alley way.
- Field agents don't make a noise behind a dumpster.
- Field agents don't miss three gunmen standing side-by-side with every bullet in their clip.
- Field agents don't get shot.
It's true. But since Milo didn't die (as we expected him to – you know, with him carting off to CBS, soon), he might as well get commended for his efforts...all this, of course, after he's de-briefed by Morris.
Morris Hates Wagons
Man alive is Morris having a bad day. So bad, one might be driven to drinking. Which, for Morris, is a no-no, since we JUST found out that he's a recovering alcoholic. Yes, that's right. Poor dude was drilled in his shoulder and may potentially be an aide to killing "millions" of more people, but that was nothing until Chloe slapped him, berated him, tried to kiss him and THEN (after he failed to finish the vectors) tells him to call the CTU Shrink and/or his sponsor. That, my friend, was a low blow. Then again, he didn't finish the vectors.
Yeah, rough day. When I have rough days, I take a walk, which is what Morris does. He strolls on over to the convenience store that's right next door to CTU (uh-huh, sure) and buys a whole smattering of placed products – Red Bull, Marlboros, whiskey and some Altoids. Though, I'm not sure how the Altoids will cover the stench of whiskey that he just drank and then barfed up (which, according to Chloe, is called "not metabolizing the alcohol"), seeing that he spilled some on his shirt. Sure enough, both Chloe and Milo smelled it on his breath – but it's cool, Chloe will break protocol and not tell Bill.
But back to the original thought, why would Morris be the one in charge of de-briefing Milo? Let's go over the potential reasons and you choose the right answer:
- So Chloe can complain about CTU being under-staffed... again.
- Because Morris is a good de-breifer.
- To promote the unnecessary Chloe-Morris-Milo love triangle story.
- So Milo would be the second person smelling the alcohol on Morris' shirt breath.
- c and d
The answer is e. And, careful Morris, Chloe "will be watching you for the rest of your shift." Which, doing the math..., will be at least another 12 hours.
Fish Gets PWN3D
Meanwhile, in the Bunker's most private and secure meeting room – Danger. High Voltage. – PMRL (Poor Man's Rob Lowe) is still convincing Fish that killing Brother Palmer is the only way to make this work. And in order for this to happen, Fish MUST grant clearance to the security specialist from the private sector. Don't worry, this won't be tied back to Fish (the one guy who would grant the clearance), it will be pinned on Reformed Terrorist (Assad). Wait, how?
Just when we learn that Fish is really a good guy, he gets knocked the f--- out by PMRL and his (product placement) Maglite. Great, now how is that dude going to get through security clearance and kill Brother Palmer?
The Family
Jack, who, by the way, is still using the cell phone that isn't his (stolen in episode one), had another huge dose of family in this last hour. First off, once Marilyn was saved, he used his patented Audrey Choke Hold Slam on her to find out the truth. And, as we've found out so many times over in 24, the truth hurts. Daddy Bauer is evil.
No biggie, once he settles down, he calls Bill, orders a new vehicle with a full tactical kit (which is a lot of guns and a flak jacket) and then tells Bill he's basically going dark. Bill protests, rightfully so, but Jack pulls out the old "trust me," and hangs up. Then Jack gets assistance from the ever-so-helpful Poor Man's Ryan Reynolds and calls Daddy Bauer -- but makes sure to enable "scramble caller" before doing so (THIS must be why CTU can't decipher certain phone calls!).
After Marilyn talks to Daddy Bauer, Jack tells her that he'll do everything in his power to help save Josh – pop quiz, how many times has Jack said that this season? If you weren't sure, Jack says it again once they get to the hotel.
Finally we get to the Jack and Daddy Bauer showdown... which really turned into a five minute summary of the season so far -- for those of you who are behind. Daddy Bauer gives Jack the guilt trip of turing on The Family and then feints at shooting Jack, only to run off... like all true bad guys on 24. It's a good thing Jack went black and didn't have backup with him.
Fortunately for Jack, Daddy Bauer left a crackberry for him. And a phone number, to none other than ex-President Logan, who is all Grizzly Adams'd out. Great, maybe we can have more 50 year old, two minute sex, soon. If not, maybe Logan can tell us when text-messaging became standard op at CTU. Or how Jack instinctively knows that hotel phones have speaker phones built in.
7 comments:
Alright so I would have to say last night was borderline the worst episode ever. This is my first time reading this blog and I wanted to point out a couple things that bothered me about the episode.
So Josh hears his Grandfather say about 4 times I will go into the other room and kill Josh...then even I will kill him right now. Josh acts like he is 5 because he should have been gone. So he thought he was going to get killed and came up with a great soda idea?
Milo got 20 seconds to be executed it just makes it so obvious Jack finds the alleyway.
I did like that you mentioned how he keeps making noise. He bumps into the fence twice and if he can see the guys they can see him...nice going. It is like hide and seek with a 3 year old...I'm hiding in here!
I have never read this blog either, but I must say I like it! I haven't watched 24 in a year or so, but was at a friends house last night and was forced to watch it. And I was pleased to note that, although this seemed to be a particularly lame hour or episode or whatever, things haven't changed.
Awful acting? Check, highlighted by Marilyn when Jack was telling her she had to demand to see Josh.
Jack has no sense of personal space? Check. Why is he always two inches from the face of the person he is talking to?
CTU appears to be lighted only by the glow of computer screens? Check...flourescent lighting must be unflattering.
Pointless sexual tension? Check, both Jack-and-Marilyn and Chloe-and-Morris-and-Milo. Come on, kids, this is a crisis! There is no time for meaningful glances!!
Someone wants to kill the president? Check.
Everyone all crabby and pissed off and inexplicably messing everything up? Check, check, check! But I would be crabby too if I worked in a barely-lit basement and never had a decent meal. Seriously, why don't they cater lunch? You would think it would be the least they could do for their overworked employees. Sheesh.
In addition to the ridiculousness already noted, I would like to add (1) the 'debriefing' of Milo, which consisted of Morris telling Milo he heard he had saved Marilyn, Milo saying he didn't know what he was doing (and clearly he didn't, the guy doesn't even know to be quiet when you are hiding from the baddies) and then Morris feeling all sorry for himself again, (2) Jack's Evil Dad's 'we can all be a family again' speech...no one would buy that, ever. No way he couldn't come up with something better than that.
And what the hell is with Evil Dad being all 'I must protect what I built' and all that rot? What exactly is he talking about? Seriously, what did he build? Lets just review the actions of Evil Dad here. Some guy said he wanted 'to preserve a piece of the original arsenal' for when the USSR was resurrected. And then what? Evil Dad got all sympathetic? Felt for the poor guy so he sold him some nukes? With purely patriotic intentions, of course. Uh huh, because the whole wanting a piece of the arsenal and the resurrection of the USSR isn't crazy or scary or red flagish... And then (favorite part) as Evil Dad is telling this to Jack - he's a patriot, dammit! - and Jack is telling him he is a liar, Evil Dad takes a few seconds to reflect on how smart Jack is...in contrast to his brother (Graham?). Jack had 'all the brains Graham never had'. Considering Evil Dad is saying this after Jack was smart enough to figure out that selling nuclear weapons to disgruntled Russians does not equal patriotism, how on earth did Graham manage to get out of bed in the morning? But I am getting ahead of myself. In an attempt to find the man he sold the bombs to, Evil Daddy Bauer trys to have Jack killed (why?) and kidnaps his grandson. Because that was clearly the best way to go about doing that. And then in the end - after Jack selflessly sacrifices himself, like we all knew he would, and is sneered at by Evil Dad for being a 'civil servant' (whatever, Dad, he's still smarter than Graham!) - Evil (?) Dad leaves him some help in the form of a phone number on a blackberry. ??? Good thing everyone in this show carries a spare PDA... And ta da! Its a way to find the man Evil Dad was looking for less than an hour ago (incidentally, around the same time he was also attempting to kill Jack). Ah, glad that all worked out so well.
About the previous comment to get you up to speed the man at the end of the show is actually the President from last season. He should be in jail but I guess he is just hanging out somewhere sporting some new facial hair.
I loved 24 up until this past week and now I'm not sure if they can win me back. I am so sick of Jack's father. Worst. Character. Ever. Are we really supposed to believe that he's being blackmailed??? Gredenko works for him and Fayed probably does, too.
Plus I still can't stop wondering how Jack did such a great job cutting his own hair.
It's the little things this year that cause me to spend each episode swearing at my t.v.
I'm a long-time 24 fan (and also new to this blog), and was concerned that I was alone in thinking 24 took a nosedive no later than after episode 6 of season 5. I enjoyed all the stuff with Jack monday (the Morris subplot was awful, though), but I finished the episode still feeling disappointed.
I think Kiefer Sutherland is the only regular cast or crew member even trying. The dialogue and plotting are abysmal, and the action scenes utterly dull. I do like both Peter MacNicol and James Cromwell, though (but not even the sum total of them and Peter Weller last year make up for a lack of Dennis Haysbert).
Anyway, I appreciate your blog (though I disagree that season 1 is better than season 2). In it's first three seasons, the best episodes were both suspenseful and creepy (season 1, especially, had some cliffhangers and plot twists that were really unsettling, at least the first time through). CTU was also a small underfunded government agency (according to George Mason), and did not have sci-fi like resources available to it.
The show could also bring you to the brink of crying, though. Anytime in the first three years when anyone was saying a final goodbye to someone before sacrificing himself they really sold it. Especially: Jack flying the plane while on the phone with Kim, in #2; George Mason seeing his son for the last time, and also trying to walk out of CTU with dignity; or when Kyle was in quarantine and talking to his parents. Those were tough scenes.
I feel like I should have felt something like those made me feel when Jack was opening up to his father while awaiting execution. I felt neither that Jack was really pouring his heart out, nor that he was buying time until he could get the drop on him. That, as well as the sheer preposterousness of the notion that Jack's father would execute him, disappointed me.
Maybe for Day 7, Jack should be working for the family business (whatever it is) and have no contact with CTU. Maybe he shouldn't even be battling terrorists; maybe he's rescuing people stuck in a natural disaster. He did solve a mystery in season 1. It'd be nice to see something clever again.
Can anyone please enlighten me as to what Jack`s father's motivation was for trying to kill Jack?
I know - protecting his big thing, that he's been working for his whole life. But then he shouldn't have let go of his daughter-in-law as she and her son both know that he is bad.
Awful script-writing, this time...
Come to England, folks, and you'll be appreciating 24 rather than dishing out what you'd have a hard time improving. Actually, hang on, stay home--you can do it just as well there.
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